e it all better. He expected to throw the way he felt for me out and leave me standing there, still pining for him. I wanted to scream. I wanted to crumple in on myself and just cry until I had nothing else left.
“We need to be adults about this…” he continued on, taking my silence as a cue to carry on. “I was being childish by putting you into this situation, and I’m sorry. I should never have toyed with your emotions the way that I did. We need to do the responsible thing and go on with this as planned. It’s the only way that both of us will get what we want out of this little arrangement of ours. ”
“I… yes, of course you’re right,” I stammered, doing what I could to regain my composure. Out of the corner of my eye, I caught sight of myself in the reflective surface of the privacy screen, my mascara already beginning to run as the first hot streams of my tears made their way down my cheeks. “Carry on, and all that, I supposed.”
“Couldn’t have said it better myself.”
I had sometimes wondered what the sound of my heart breaking would be like, and it turned out to sound a lot like my stifled sobbing.
Chapter 76
I invited Gwendolyn out for a quiet dinner the next day in the hopes of discussing a few more potential candidates. I made sure to find a place that the two of us would have at least some privacy while we made plans to get me tied off to a somewhat respectable woman that would have me for so long as it took to tie the knot between us.
I arrived a few minutes before Gwen did, more than enough time to order a bottle of wine for the two of us to share. I’d gotten a good enough look at her kitchen to know the kind of wine she liked and ordered the perfect bottle to suit her tastes. I knew that trying to woo my sister was pointless at this point, that bridge had been properly burned the moment she ejected me from her bed, but despite all that I wanted to impress her, to surprise her with how much I cared for her.
When Gwen arrived she was wearing a gorgeous black dress that fit her body like a glove. Her hair was done up beautifully, pulled back into a tight bun and held in place by a pair of ornate pins. Around her neck glimmered a gorgeous choker I’d recognized from when we were younger.
The longer I watched her the more I found myself unable to stop staring as she sat down. She was utterly stunning, and the way she moved was like out of a dream. Our eyes met as she took her seat and I watched her cheeks fill with color, her eyes turning from mine in embarrassment. I could tell that she was trying to do her best to hide the way she felt, though doing a better job of it than I had been. I wasn’t sure what it was, but the moment she walked into a room, I found myself utterly captivated.
“What do you keep staring at?” she asked, frowning as she laid a folder down next to her plate—what I could only assume were the packets of information on my next perspective match. I was both curious at what she’d brought me and at the same time upset that she was being so damn helpful about going through with all of this.
“Nothing. You just look very nice,” I said, trying not to make an awkward situation any worse. I had to remind myself that I had made the decision to be an adult and go through with this scheme of mine, even though I’d like to feel myself buried in Gwen in the next five minutes, I knew that if I ever wanted to inherit my father’s title than I would have to keep my hands to myself where my stepsister was concerned from now on. If anyone had found out about what the two of us had done already there would be hell to pay.
“Thank you,” she said, though the tone to her voice was colder than I remembered. Was she upset with me? “Are you ready to get down to business?”
“What? No wine first?” I asked, beginning to pour myself a glass from the rather expensive bottle I had ordered. “I asked for one of your favorites.”
“How in the world would you know that?” she asked, eyes narrowed.
“It’s the one that’s littered around your kitchen, Gwennie,” I said, chuckling as I took a long drink. “I’m not a mind reader.”
“None for me,” she said, her eyes narrowed as she pulled out the pictures of a graceful looking young woman. Aside from a few minor details I could have mistaken the woman for Gwen if I didn’t know any better. “This is Denise Halbrook. She’s the daughter of a Member of Parliament and part of the aristocracy. I think that she might just be the perfect match.”
“Pretty enough,” I said, almost upset that Gwen was so focused on doing her job and eager to marry me off. The more I listened to her talk about this woman the more I wanted Gwen instead. I knew I shouldn’t—that I couldn’t—but watching her from across the table was almost its own brand of torture. “You really think that she’s right for me?”
“From the information that I have and what you want to achieve? Yes, absolutely,” Gwen said, laying out a few papers across the table as the waiter stood by waiting to take our order. “She’s got all the clout that you’d need to pacify your father’s inspection. She’s got it all—education, social standing, she even does charity work and keeps a rather low media profile. I have to say I’m impressed.”
I mulled the thought over as I gave the young man our order and sent him on his way, glancing down at the pictures that were strewn across the table. Sure, she was pretty, in that old money fashion, but there was something about her that didn’t seem totally on the nose. Something in her eye felt so familiar, but I couldn’t’ quite put a name to it.
“She sounds like a bit of a bore,” I sighed, running my fingers through my hair in frustration. I wanted someone with a little bit of excitement, someone that I could possibly use to take my mind off of the woman I couldn’t have. Some aristocratic daughter of a nobleman would never be able to keep my attention long enough to stop me from finding someone more interesting to play with—or, even more disastrous, wandering back into Gwendolyn’s bed.
“Bore or not, you’re going to start running out of options sooner or later, Tristan,” she said. “There are only so many failed dates you can have while you’re dating within your station. The upper class are a small group, and when you botch a few dates within that circle people tend to take notice. You already have a reputation as it is that we have to break through. Be lucky anyone is interested in you after those escapades when you were younger.”
“Youthful indiscretions,” I said, waving the thought away as though it were nothing.
“Yes, I remember how little those things actually meant to you,” she shot at me quickly, her eyes narrowed in a blood-chilling glare. Admittedly, I deserved that. My younger self had been what I affectionately called a royal pick, and it was only fair that the person I’d hurt the most back in those days take her revenge. “While most of the rest of the world likes for certain things to hold a special meaning.”
It was at that moment that I caught the flash of a camera in the corner of my eye and a crowd of dirty looking men peeking in through the restaurant window, a mix of cameras and cellphones all fighting for a better angle to snap a picture at the two of us.
“Damn,” I whispered, pushing my chair back as I made ready to get out of there as quickly as possible. “Get up, we’re leaving.”
“What is it?’ she asked, turning to follow my gaze. She wasn’t used to the media following her around, so I knew it would be up to me to make sure she didn’t get cornered.
“Buzzards,” I said with no shortage of venom in my voice. I took her hand and lead her farther out of sight from the large front windows of the restaurant, slowly making our way to the kitchens. “Let’s go out the back, I’ve already covered the check.”
With a well-placed twenty-pound note, Gwen and I were smuggled out through the kitchen and out the back of the restaurant. I quickly phoned for a cab to get us both the hell out of there. Gwen’s driver Franklin wouldn’t be expecting us for another hour at most and we needed a quick escape. In a pinch the cab would do, if the paparazzi didn’t find us back here first.
“The cab should be here any moment,” I said the two of us huddled close in the alley behind the restaurant. I could fee
l her body so warm next to mine, looking down into her face and into those sparkling eyes. Even in the dimming light of a back ally, Gwendolyn shone like a star in the heavens, one that I coveted more than anything else in the entire world. She was a star that I wanted to hide from the world so that only I would be able to see her shine.
“Seems like no matter who I’m with, my dinner plans never seem to work out,” I chuckled, raising an eyebrow at her.
I managed to draw a smile from her as she shook her head, leaning herself back against the red brick of the restaurant’s exterior. I couldn’t stop thinking about how beautiful she was.
I wasn’t sure how it happened, but before I knew it I was pressed against her body, pushing her back against the wall of the restaurant as I tilted her head up to receive a slow, passionate kiss. For a moment I felt her body relax underneath my touch, that soft gasp escaping her lips before I felt her push me away.
“What are you doing?” she hissed, her eyes wide with shock. Despite her protest I could see the reddening in her cheeks, the rising and falling of her soft breasts inside of her blouse. I knew she’d wanted more, if only I could make her understand how much I needed her, despite what I’d said. I couldn’t stop myself.
“I need you, Gwen,” I said, sounding as though the breath had been stolen from my lungs. My stepsister stared at me as she shook her head, rubbing the bridge of her nose in frustration.
“No, Tristan,” she hissed, looking over her shoulder for any camera men who had found their way to our hiding spot. “We can’t do this anymore! This is no time to play out your childhood fantasy. You hired me to find you a wife, and that’s what we agreed to. That means you’re a client and I cannot be caught sleeping with a client. Let alone my own stepbrother!”