"I need to go to the store. I worked with what we had," I explained as I pulled the chicken out of the oven. I kept myself busy fixing us each a plate and toasting some bread and buttering it.
"Soda?" I asked him.
"Do we have sweet tea?" he asked.
We did. I had made it that morning. I fixed him a glass while he carried our food to the table.
"Thank you," he said as I set the drink down in front of him.
"Youre welcome. "
He reached up and grabbed my hand. "No. Thank you for being exactly what I needed and knowing when I wanted to speak and when I didnt. " That was one of the longest sentences hed said since wed come home from the beach.
"I will always be whatever you need me to be," I said simply before taking my seat.
We ate for a few minutes in silence.
"I need to see his parents . . . and Tripp. Hes called my phone twice. I should see him too. "
"Okay. "
"I want you to go with me. "
"Okay," I agreed.
Woods looked out at the water. "Do you know when the funeral is?"
"Yes. Rush said it was tomorrow at two. "
His jaw worked as he stared out the window. "Will Bethy be there?"
"Yes. Im sure she will be," I replied.
His jaw continued to shift like he was clenching his teeth.
I reached over and took his hand. "Woods. She loved him too. She made a mistake that shell have to live with for the rest of her life, but she did love him. You know that. "
"I cant forgive her," he said.
"I understand that. But remember, he loved her. He loved her enough to die for her. Shes suffering. Dont doubt that. Shes suffering because she knows why this happened. You can hate her but try to remind yourself of the pain she has to be going through. And that Jace loved her more than he loved himself. "
Woods didnt say anything; he just sat there, letting me hold his hand while he stared out the window.
Everyone in Rosemary was at the funeral. There were more people there than Id ever seen at any event in town. Bethy was lifeless. Her face was pale and her cheeks were hollowed. She stood beside her aunt Darla and a man I assumed was her father. Jaces parents I had seen a few times at the club. His mothers eyes were red and swollen as she clung to his fathers arm. Tripp stood to the side of them. He was dressed in a dark suit. You couldnt see his tattoos and he looked nothing like a biker bartender but more like the Ivy League graduate that he would have been if he hadnt run from his parents plans for him.
Woods held on to my hand like it was his lifeline. He hadnt let it go since we arrived. Rush also held Blaires hand just as tightly. Nate wasnt with them today.
Grant stood on the other side of Rush, his hands tucked in his front pockets and his face pinched in a permanent frown. It looked like he was trying not to cry.
The others were there, too, but I couldnt see them from where we were standing.
Each one of them had had an impact on the others lives.
They all had stories.
They had all loved, and many had lost.
They had expected to grow up and become adults together. Get married and let their kids play together.
Theyd planned on being the next generation in Rosemary.
What they hadnt planned on was losing one of their own. Losing a member of their tight group. They hadnt seen their future minus one. Death hadnt touched them before. Not like this. Not one of them.
Everything was about to change.
Page 45
Bethy
My entire life I had loved the sound of the waves. The natural beauty of the gulf. I was proud to live in such a special place.
But that had all changed.
The crashing waves were cruel. It had been two weeks since the water had taken Jace from me. Two weeks since I cheated death and it had taken the man I loved instead.
"It should have been me," I screamed at the water. I wanted it to know it had messed up and taken the wrong life.
"He wouldnt have agreed with you. "
I didnt want to hear that voice. Not now. Not now that Jace was gone. I wanted him to go away.
"No one should have died, Bethy. And Jace made sure it wasnt you. It wasnt the water who took the wrong person. Jace made that decision. " I wanted to cover my ears like a child and scream at him to go away. I didnt want him here. Why was he still here? He knew it was my fault. He knew this was all my fault, yet he didnt look at me with hate in his eyes the way Woods did.
"Go away," I said without looking back at him.
"Im not leaving again. "
Those were not words I wanted to hear right now. Maybe five years ago I would have loved to have heard Tripp Newark tell me he was staying in Rosemary, but not now. Any and all feelings I had for Tripp had died the day I walked out of the abortion clinic Aunt Darla had taken me to, with an ache in my chest where my heart used to be.
"You can do what you want. Just stay away from me," I snapped, finally turning my angry glare on him. He was still just as beautiful as he had been when I was sixteen and stupid. He had said pretty words and I had believed him.
"I will for now. But Ive been running for five years, Bethy. "
It wasnt my fault he had been running. He had left me without an explanation or apology. He hadnt answered my phone calls. Nothing. Not even the message Id left him after I had killed our baby. I had been devastated. He hadnt even called me back then.
"I loved him!" I yelled, and pointed my finger at Tripp. "I loved Jace! It was real! Damn you! It was real. Dont come to me and tell me youre coming back. Dont tell me youre tired of running. I dont give a motherfucking shit! I loved him. " My angry screams had turned to sobs, but I didnt care. Hed asked for this. He should have stayed away from me.
"I loved him," I said one more time before turning to walk away.
"I loved him, too. He w
as like my brother. He was everything I wasnt. He was good. He was honest. He was strong. He deserved you. "
I stopped and let the pain slice through me. Hes gone. How could he be gone?
"Im sorry, Bethy. Im sorry that I just left you that summer. I was young and stupid. My parents wanted things for me I didnt want and I was scared of becoming my dad. So I ran like hell. I wanted to tell you. Dammit, I wanted to take you with me, but you were sixteen years old. You were an even bigger kid than I was. What was an eighteen-year-old trust fund brat going to do taking care of a sixteen-year-old?"
It was the past. Nothing he said made up for what hed done. It was over. I had let it go and buried it and moved on.
"I was in love with you, Bethy. You were the first girl I ever loved. Youve been the only girl Ive ever loved. I never wanted to hurt you. When Jace was smart enough to fall in love with you I knew youd be okay. He would give you everything you deserved. "
"Shut up!" I snapped, spinning around and glaring at him "Just shut up! He didnt know! He loved me and he trusted me and he didnt know. I never told him. I wasnt worthy of him. I was never worthy of him. I was a liar. Im tainted. Im dirty. "
Tripp took a step toward me. "No, youre not. Just because you trusted me with your love and then gave me your virginity . . . Bethy, that doesnt make you tainted or dirty. What we had wasnt wrong. It was real. I was too young to deal with it but it was very fucking real. It never left me. "
Giving him my virginity was stupid. I had been a good girl then. Sex had equaled love to me. But Tripp had changed all that. He had turned me into something that Jace saved me from. The girl Tripp had destroyed, Jace had salvaged and cherished.
"No. Loving you was stupid, not wrong. Trusting you with my virginity was a mistake, not dirty. But killing the baby that we created because you didnt care enough to return my calls . . . thats what made me unworthy of someone like Jace. "
I turned and walked away. This time he didnt try to stop me.
Page 46
Della
I sat in the window of Woodss office and watched him read over some new contracts he needed to sign with a distributor that I had found for the clothing line in the clubhouse. What we had was for an older crowd. The members of the Kerrington Club werent all fifty and above.