"I can't do that. They're looking forward to the ceili, and meeting you."
She bunched her hands into fists. "All right, then call and tell them you made a mistake, changed your mind, whatever, and that you and I are not an item."
His brow creased. "You're meaning I should tell them I'm not going to marry you?"
"That's it, exactly." She gave him a congratulatory pat on the arm. "You've finally got it."
"I hate to say no to you about anything, but I can't be lying to my family." He was quick enough on his feet to dodge the first punch, then the second. The third nearly caught him as he was doubled over with laughter, but he evaded by snagging her around the waist and swinging her in a giddy circle.
"God, you're for me, Shannon. I'm crazy in love with you."
"Crazy," she began, but the rest was muffled against his mouth.
He stole her breath. She couldn't get it back. While she gripped his shoulders, he continued to circle her, adding dizziness to breathlessness. His mouth added the heat. Even when he stopped the wild spinning, the room continued to revolve, and her heart with it.
There was a quick and stunning thought through the haze of desire, that he was giving her no choice but to love him.
"I'm not going to let this happen." On a panicked flood of strength, she shoved away.
Her hair was tousled, her eyes wide and stunned. He could see the pulse hammering at her throat, and the color the kiss had left blooming in her cheeks.
"Come to bed with me, Shannon." His voice was thick, rough, and edgy. "Christ Jesus, I need you. Every time you walk away there's a hole in me, and a terrible fear you won't come back." Desperate, he pulled her close again, buried his face in her hair. "I can't keep watching you walk away, and never having you."
"Don't do this." She squeezed her eyes tight and fought a vicious battle with what was inside her. "You won't let it be anything as simple as going to bed, and I can't let it be anything else."
"It is something else. It's everything else." He yanked her back. Remembering, he dropped his hands before his fingers could bruise. "Is it because I trip around you? I get clumsy sometimes because I can't always think in a clear way when I'm close to you."
"No, it's not you, Murphy. It's me. It's me and your idea of us. And I've handled it much more clumsily than you." She tried to take a deep breath, but found her chest was painfully tight. "So I'm going to fix that. I'm not going to see you again." Keeping her eyes on his cost her, but she refused to back down. "That'll make it easier for both of us. I'm going to start my arrangements to go back to New York."
"That's running," he said evenly. "But do you know if you're running from me or from yourself?"
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"It's my life. I have to get back to it."
The fury crawling through him left no room even for fear. With his eyes burning into hers, he reached into his pocket and tossed what he had carried there onto the table.
Her nerves began to stretch even before she lowered her gaze and saw it. The circle of copper with the figure of a stallion embossed. It would have a pin on the back, she knew, sturdy and thick enough to clamp together a man's riding cloak.
Murphy watched her go as pale as glass. Her fingers reached out for it, then drew back sharply, curling into a defensive fist.
"What is it?"
"You know what it is." He swore with studied violence when she shook her head. "Don't lie to yourself. It's poor spirited."
She could see it against dark wool, both broach and cloak beaded with rain. "Where did you get it?"
"I found it, center of the dance when I was a boy. I fell asleep with it in my hand, right there. And dreamed of you the first time."
She couldn't take her eyes from it, even when her vision wavered. "That isn't possible."
"It happened, just as I told you." He picked it up and held it out to her.
"I don't want it." Panic snaked into her voice.
"I've kept it for you half my life." Calmer now, he slipped it back into his pocket. "I can keep it longer. There's no need for you to leave before you've had the time you're wanting with your sisters. I won't touch you in that way again, or pressure you to give me what you're not willing to. You've my word."
He would keep it. She knew him now well enough not to doubt it. How could she blame him for giving her a promise that made her feel small and weepy? "I care about you, Murphy. I don't want to hurt you."
She couldn't have any idea how much she had done just that. But he kept his voice neutral. "I'm a man grown, Shannon, and can tend to myself."
She'd been so sure she could walk away cold. Now she found she wanted to hold him again, and be held. "I don’t want to loose your friendship. It’s come to mean a lot to me in a short time."
"You couldn't lose it." He smiled, though he had to keep his hands close to his sides to keep from reaching for her. "You never have to worry over that."
She tried not to as she left and started up the road again. And she tried not to think too deeply about why she needed to weep.
Chapter Fourteen
Murphy put his back into mucking out the stables. Physical labor was part of his life, and he knew how to use strain and sweat to ease the mind.
It was a pity it wasn't working for him.
He drove his shovel into the soiled straw bedding, tossed the load into the growing pile in his wheelbarrow.
"You always had a good aim, you did, Murphy." Maggie strolled up behind him. She was smiling, but her eyes were searching his face for signs. And what she found tore at her heart.
"Why aren't you working?" He spoke without looking over or stopping. "I hear your furnace."
"I'm going to get to it." She came closer, resting a
hand on the open stall door. "I didn't come by yesterday because I thought you might want a little breathing space. So I waited till this morning. Shannon looked miserable when she came back after seeing you yesterday."
"I did my best to put her at ease." He bit off the words before taking his shovel into the next stall.
"What about your ease, Murphy?" Maggie laid a hand on his back, leaving it lay despite his badtempered shrug. "I can see what you feel for her, and I hate to know you're so upset."
"Then you'd best be off, as I'm planning on staying this way. Move back, damn