“But we have two babies on the way who she can nurture.”
“You’re failing to see what’s happening here. Lourdes has been orphaned. Bleu sees herself in that child. She wants to save that sweet baby the same way she was saved by Harold MacAllister.”
“I might feel the same if there were no one to take her. But we have a good family who wants to adopt her.”
“That window is closed, Sinclair. Bleu’s in too deep. She’s fallen head over heels in love with that baby.”
“You don’t think that will change when our twins get here?”
“No. She’s a mama bear and she considers Lourdes her cub. You couldn’t pry her from Bleu’s arms if you tried. And you don’t really want to do that. You love that little girl too.”
“I’m fearful of how our lives will change with three bairns.”
“I can promise you it will be crazy. But you’ll get by. And you’ll look back on it one day and wonder why you were so scared.”
Speaking to my mum changes my perspective. I feel like I’m able to see things from Bleu’s point of view for the first time. “I appreciate the talk.”
“Anytime, son. Can I do anything for you before I go?”
“Are there plenty of bottles?”
“Aye. I sterilized and mixed six just before you came home. They’re in the fridge. That should be more than enough to get you through to morning. You can probably expect her to wake up hungry in about thirty minutes. You should take one out now so you don’t have to heat it.”
“I’ll do that.”
“Call if you need anything. I can be back in five minutes.” Buying a house so near was the best decision we ever made.
“I will. Thanks, Mum.”
I grab a bottle from the fridge and go into our bedroom to see my sweet Bonny Bleu. I was only gone two days but I missed her terribly.
She’s napping in the middle of the bed, her upper body propped by two pillows since she can’t tolerate lying flat. Lourdes’s sleeping soundly on her chest only inches above Bleu’s swollen abdomen.
It’s in this moment that I realize these might not be the three most important people in my life—they could be the four most important. I’m not sure I can ask Bleu to let Lourdes go because I’m not sure I want to give her up, either.
I don’t wake Bleu. Instead, I sit in the corner chair and take in the beauty of my family. My wife. My children. I don’t deserve any of them but by some miracle, they are mine.
Just as Mum predicted, Lourdes fusses for her feeding at the thirty-minute mark. Bleu wakes and rubs her back. “Hey. It’s okay, sweet girl.”
I catch Bleu’s attention when I get up from the chair. “You’re home! How long have you been here?”
“I got in about forty-five minutes ago.”
“Why didn’t you wake me?”
“I couldn’t. You and Lourdes looked so peaceful.”
Lourdes begins fussing louder. “I think our moment of peace just ended.”
Bleu reaches for the bottle but I hold on to it. I haven’t seen her in two days, either. “I’d like to feed her, if that’s okay.”
“Of course.”
I climb into bed next to Bleu and take Lourdes from her chest. She opens her mouth and searches for the nipple with her tongue. “She’s a greedy little thing.”
“Yes. Her appetite has really increased this week. She’s taking up to four ounces a feeding now.”
“How did her appointment with the pediatrician go? Has she gained weight?”
“Her appointment isn’t until tomorrow. Of course I’m not going to be able to take her since I have a long-standing engagement with this bed. Your mom is carrying her for me.”
I don’t have anything scheduled at the office tomorrow. “I think I would like to take her. That is, if my mother will go with me. I don’t feel confident doing it alone.”
“Isobel was going to do it anyway, so I’m certain she won’t mind going with you.”
I’m guessing Bleu sees pediatrician visits as her job but I want to have an active role in my children’s lives.
“Did you see Lainie while you were in Dublin?”
“I did. She’s quite well. Seems to be fitting in perfectly with The Guild.”
“I’m happy she’s all right, but I wish she were here instead. I’d really like her to come back to Edinburgh once this mess with The Order is over. Perhaps join us.” I like Lainie as well but that will open a whole other can of worms considering she’s Order and was once married to its leader. Even I might not be able to convince the brotherhood a change like that would be okay.
“She sent a gift for the babies. I put it on the dresser.”
Bleu gets up to snatch the package. I laugh because her waddling has worsened.
“What?”
I’d be crazy to tell her. “Nothing.”
She climbs back into bed and tears into the present before I can blink twice. She lifts the top of the box. Inside are three silver coins engraved with a B.
“What are these?”
“Some Scots believe it’s good luck to place silver in an infant’s hand. I guess each baby is getting their own personal piece as a keepsake.”
I told Lainie we had taken in an orphan but I never mentioned keeping her. I guess she assumed.
“I love these. They’re very thoughtful.”
Lourdes has sucked down half of her bottle so it’s time for burping. I lean her tiny little body over my hand and pat her back just the way Bleu showed me. “We’re going to figure all of this out, aren’t we?”
Bleu leans over and kisses the top of her head. She places her finger inside Lourdes’s tiny palm. She instinctively grasps it. “I think we already have.”
Chapter Twenty-One
Bleu Breckenridge
It’s official. I’m thirty-seven weeks pregnant with twins. Full term. My pregnancy lasted longer than we ever thought it would. Weight gain. Stretch marks. Pelvic pressure. Insomnia. That’s just the shortlist. I’ve achieved a level of misery I never dreamed possible.
My belly is getting sliced open tomorrow. That’s okay because it means we’re getting babies. We will finally meet our children. I can hardly wait to know what we’re getting. Boys, girls, or a combo package.
I’m showered and shaved. Everywhere. Can’t lie. That wasn’t an easy thing to accomplish. But I did it for Sin. I want to give him one good night before his six-week dry spell.
I’m wearing the only piece of sexy lingerie I have that still fits over my tummy. Sort of. A baby-doll top with matching G-string. My breasts are spilling out of the top but I don’t think he’ll mind.
I’m standing next to the bed when he comes into our
room. He doesn’t notice me. I guess he thinks I’m still in the bathroom since he calls out. “I think Lourdes is finally down for the night.”
“Is she?”
He stops dead in his tracks. “What do we have here?”
“You, Mr. Breckenridge, have a wife who’d like to show you a good time before our six-week vacation from knowing one another.”
“I do enjoy getting to know you better.”
“I thought you might.”
He comes to me. I go up onto my tiptoes and lace my fingers through the back of his hair as I kiss him.
His hands are at my lower back. He pulls me closer but it’s mostly my belly pressing against his.
We move toward the bed, kissing en route, before we stop next to it. His hands are exploring my breasts through my baby-doll top. They’ve gotten bigger the last couple of weeks, so they’re really jacked high.
“These are fantastic.” He caresses each one before pulling my top up and over my head. He thumbs my nipples, watching them harden. I fist the back of his hair when he takes one into his mouth.
I should probably warn him. “They’ve been leaking. A lot.”
“Maybe that’s why they taste so damn sweet.”
When he finishes, he pushes my panties down my legs. I’m left standing completely naked before him. He steps back, looking me over from head to toe, and I suddenly feel self-conscious about my body like never before. I clasp my hands in front of my large belly because I’m afraid my stretch marks will turn him off.
He comes to me and caresses my bump. “Please don’t cover yourself. I love looking at your pregnant body. The only thing I see is the beauty of my children growing inside you.”
He pulls me close and my abdomen presses against his again. He holds my hips as he drags his lips over my shoulder. “What position is going to work best for you?”
It used to work best with me on top before this last round of bed rest. But my belly is much bigger now. I’m not sure I can ride him like I did five weeks ago.
It’s going to be a long time before we get to do this again. I want it to be good for him. “I can get on my stomach––sort of. I mean I can get on my hands and knees. Maybe.” That may not work, either, if the weight of the babies is too heavy in that position.