The jerk tells me to marry him and then swaggers out the door without making love to me. He claims he doesn’t want to alter my decision with sex but I’m not a fool. He wants me desperate for him. And I am. But I’m also furious. I would consider killing him if I didn’t already know how painful it is to live without him.
Sin presented his marriage proposal as though he was asking and the choice was mine. We both know that isn’t the case. He was being kind—and smart—since he can guess how well an ultimatum will go over with me.
I’m well aware of what my life looks like if I don’t marry Sin. That doesn’t mean I’ll accept without considering all the potential scenarios associated with becoming the wife of a Fellowship leader.
Divorce won’t be an option if things don’t go well. Neither Sin nor the brotherhood will ever release me. I’ll be married to Sinclair Breckenridge and The Fellowship until my dying breath. It’s literally a commitment until death do we part.
I’ll keep company with liars, thieves, and killers on a daily basis. In a sense, I’d become their leader as well since I firmly believe behind every great man is a great woman. Can I associate with these types of people every day?
If we’re able to conceive, do I really want to bring children into that kind of life? How would I possibly teach my kids right from wrong in The Fellowship world when they’ll be constantly surrounded by criminals?
If I decide I can’t become a permanent part of The Fellowship, I have the skills that will enable me to run so far, I’ll never be found. But even that scenario can’t happen before my dad passes. If I’m lucky enough to avoid Abram’s men until Harry’s gone, there’s still the matter of Ellison to consider. This isn’t my sister’s fight. She shouldn’t have to spend her life in hiding because of something I did.
I hear a crash in the living room and instantly transition into an agent on the defense. I streak to my nightstand and retrieve my gun from where Sin placed it before he left.
I move toward the door and do a visual check. I proceed down the hallway once I’m certain it’s clear. I’m doing a sweep of the living room when I hear a creaking noise in the wood floor behind me. I spin, arms locked, ready to fire on Abram’s men.
“Shit, Bleu! What the fuck are you doing?” Ellison yells.
“Dammit, Ellison.” I lower my gun. “You’re supposed to be drunk and passed out in a hotel with your friends.” I look at the man she has her arms wrapped around. “Not traipsing in with some random guy in the middle of the night.”
I’m suddenly aware that I’m wearing my robe in front of a complete stranger. I wrap it a little tighter and cross my arms over my chest since I’m braless. “You know you shouldn’t surprise me like that.”
“I’m sorry, Ty. This is my sister, Bleu. You’ll have to excuse her. She used to work for the FBI so she’s sort of a freakazoid with a permit to carry a gun.”
“Nice, Elli. I totally appreciate your summary of me.”
She points at her male companion. “This is Tyler Blackwell. We work together.”
He’s good-looking and well dressed—just Ellison’s type. I’d bet my bottom dollar this guy is a doctor. He looks the part. I hope this one is into her instead of another dude, or whatever that guy had planned.
We do the “nice to meet you” thing and I promptly return to my bedroom. I climb into bed and pull the covers high but I can’t possibly fall asleep after tonight’s revelation.
I toss and turn for more than two hours. On a whim, I call the number belonging to Sin months ago. “Aye, Bonny.”
Shit. I can’t believe he still has the same number or that he answered my call. “I can’t sleep.”
“I’m not surprised. I’m sure you have a lot of things on your mind.” I hear him chuckle and I’m reminded how he enjoys laughing at me. It pisses me off.
“True, but I have one very specific thing on my mind.”
“Bonny.” He says my name as though I’m a child who’s misbehaved. “You need to be concentrating on our future and the decision you must make in the next few days, not what you’d like to be doing in the present.”
It’s been months since we’ve been together. I don’t understand how he can be so strong. Is it because he knows I’ll be weak enough for the both of us?
“Where are you?”
“In the car.”
“Where exactly?”
“Outside your house.” I should’ve known. He said he wouldn’t be far.
I go to the window. I pull back the drape and see the dark sedan. “It’s an unusually cold night. You can’t sleep in a car outside my house.”
“I won’t be sleeping.”
This is stupid. He should be in here with me. “Please, come inside.”
“No.”
He’s absolutely infuriating. “Are you going to force me to take drastic measures?”
“Good night, Bonny.”
Click.
He hung up on me … like really hung up on me. That bastard!
There’s no way I’m having this. Uh-uh. Not for a minute.
I step into my sheepskin boots. I go out the front door, stalking toward the dark sedan. The windows are tinted black as night. I can’t see his expression as I approach but I’m certain it’s smug. He’s getting exactly what he wants—me desperate to be beneath him as soon as possible.
He opens the back door and gets out. He points at my house. “Turn yourself around and get back inside. Now.”
I stand with my arms crossed to prove I can be just as stubborn as he is. “No.”
He slams the car door harder than necessary. “I told you I don’t think it’s wise to be together while you’re thinking about this decision.”
“I don’t think it’s wise for you to be sitting in a car fifty yards from me when I haven’t been with you in three months.”
“Bonny.” He yells my name and then squeezes his eyes. His lips are barely moving. I miss the first movement of his mouth but I don’t mistake the second, third, or so on. He’s counting. I’m sure it’s so he can gain his composure with me. “I don’t want you to ever feel like I persuaded or romanced you into making the wrong decision. Please understand I feel very strongly about this.”
I’m tired of this game.
“Being separated from you while I know you’re near is excruciating.”
“Do you think it doesn’t pain me to know you’re right inside that house?” He points to my robe. “Wearing this?”
“Being apart is doing neither of us any good. With you out here, there’s no kind of rational decision-making process going on in my head. I can’t string two thoughts together. Separation isn’t working.” Or maybe it’s panning out just as he hoped since I’m standing outside nearly naked in the cold, begging him to come to my bed.
I move toward him but he lifts his hand to stop me. “Don’t. You can’t see them but three of my men are in this car.”
Ohh. His men are watching. I might as well use that to my advantage. “I guess that means you might not want me to do this?” I reach for the tie around my waist and loosen it.
“I know what you’re doing but it’s not going to work.”
I undo the first loop of my belt “You caught me coming out of the bath so I’m not wearing a thing underneath. But you already know that.”
“Don’t do this, Bleu.” His voice is pleading. I’m not sure that’s something I’ve ever heard from him before.
“You give me no choice.”
My belt goes loose and Sin rushes forward to catch the lapels of my robe. He yanks it together and not so gently makes a bow with the tie. He hoists me over his shoulder and I wave at the men I can’t see behind his back as he carries me toward my house.
He highly underestimates me and what I’m capable of. I can’t believe he hasn’t figured this out yet.
I slide down his body as he puts my booted feet on the foyer floor. I hook my hands behind his neck.
He’s unsmiling. In fact, he looks downright pissed.
“Dammit, Bleu,” he growls. “You can’t defy me in front of my men. It makes me appear weak as a leader when I can’t even control my own lass.”
He needs to learn early on I don’t have a submissive bone in my body. “Have you considered that instead of seeing you as a weak leader, they’ll view me as a strong woman?”
“My guess would be that they think you’re a foolish woman. Trust me. They’re assuming I brought you inside for a harsh punishment rather than give you what you want.”