I caught his flailing arms and pinned them to the ground by his head as my lips curled into a twisted smile. “Because I like it.”
Jesse struggled. “You…you like it?”
“Yes.”
“Do you know how fucked up that is?” Jesse said, his alarm over my admission written all over his face.
“I’m not sure why you’re so surprised. Were you not there the night in the forest? Have I not told you on many occasions that I’m not a good man—”
“That’s different,” Jesse said, his eyes watering now, tears spilling down the sides of his temples. “You let me believe that King was the one following me. That he was the bad guy. You made me think I was safe with you…that I could trust you…”
As the fight in him dissipated, those final words were like echoes from the past as they drifted around the room and then faded in the silence that remained. As he stared up at me, Jesse’s face blurred with the one that was up on the screen beside him, and I could hear Lee in my head and his words from that last night: You said that I could trust you, and I do.
“Get off me, Tor,” Jesse said, and with my mind not on him, he put all his muscle into shoving me off him, and succeeded. As I landed beside him, Jesse clambered away from me and pulled himself up by the couch, and then made a run for the office door.
I wasn’t far behind him, and just as he was about to reach the door, I made a grab for his arm and pulled him to a stop, tugging him into me so his back was flush against my front. I could feel his body tremble against mine as I lowered my head and nuzzled my nose into his hair. He smelled of sunlight, and I needed to touch him now more than ever.
“When I was sixteen, my mother moved us to a small town just south of here,” I said by his ear, my voice a raspy imitation of my usual sure tenor. The subject I was discussing had been buried for so long that unearthing it and speaking of it out loud caused physical strain.
Jesse remained eerily silent as he stood trapped by me, very much the lamb feigning death in the wolf’s jaws, waiting for its chance to escape. But I could feel each breath he took, and I closed my eyes, remembering a time long ago, when another had been silent and still, but on that occasion, there’d been no feigning—just the final kill. “I told you about it the night I took you to dinner. Do you remember?”
When there was no response from Jesse, I came around to stand in front of him, my hands on either side of his arms as I looked down at him. Jesse’s eyes were on the floor, only the top of his head visible. I curled my fingers into his shirt and tugged him a little closer to me, making his head snap up as I said, “I asked you a question, Jesse. Do you remember?”
He quickly nodded, his head jerking frantically. “Yes. I remember. Hazard.”
“That’s right. That’s where I met—”
“Lee?” Jesse asked, his eyes finding and locking on to mine, the fearfulness in them now mixing with a heavy dose of curiosity, which had gotten us into this mess in the first place.
I glanced over his shoulder to the images up on the screens, and as I compared the similarities between the two faces, I was convinced now more than ever that my first theory had been right. It had to be; there was no other explanation.
“How do you know that name?” I asked, returning my gaze to Jesse, who watched me with a wariness in his eyes I had never seen. He was staring at me as though I were a complete stranger—and really, I was.
“Does it matter?” he said. “I know it. Lee Wood. Just like I know your name’s really Tom Covington.”
I nodded slowly. “Yes. That’s my name, and yes, that was his.”
“Was?”
“Yes,” I said, but offered no clarification. “Was.”
“That’s it?” Jesse asked, his words finally returning to him in a rush of bravery. “I find out you’ve been following me, taking photos of me when I didn’t know. That you have a whole other fucking name. And that’s all you have to say about that?”
“No,” I said as I tilted my head to the side and ran my eyes over Jesse’s features. His cheeks were flushed with panic, those lips that looked as though they’d been bitten red were parted in disbelief, and his eyes had a look of confusion. “I have plenty to say about all of that. And the first thing you should know is that his name was Lee Wood and I loved him. Right up until the second I killed him.”