“It wouldn’t stop you if it was.”
Solo smiled as he sat down. “Glad to see you’re finally getting it.”
“Like I said—you’re not subtle.”
“No, I’m not.”
We watched in silence as another plane took off, the sound loud enough to drown out the noise in my head, which was exactly why I’d subconsciously chosen this place.
Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Solo rubbing his lips. Those lips that tasted as good as they looked. “You ran out kinda fast.”
“Yeah.”
“I’m not sorry.”
The comment was so unrepentant, so…Solo, that my lips quirked. “I’m not surprised.”
“Do you want me to apologize?”
I stared up at the sky as I thought it over. My body was at war with my mind, half of me wishing he would just leave this thing between us alone, and the other half desperately craving what he wanted to give.
“It’s a simple yes or no,” Solo said, leaning back on his hands to mimic my position.
I shook my head. “It’s more complicated than that.”
“Because of your father?”
The fact that he’d nailed the source of what felt like all my internal conflicts jolted me.
“I’m gonna take a stab here,” he continued. “I’m guessing he doesn’t want you out to all his colleagues.”
“He doesn’t want me out, period.”
“Ahh.” He paused while another plane took off. “But what do you want?”
I opened my mouth to answer, but when nothing came out, I frowned. “I guess that’s complicated too.” I looked over at Solo, resting my chin on my shoulder. “What about you? What’s your story?”
“Trying to take the focus off you. Got it,” he said, smirking. “Well, let’s see. I was born a quarter of a century ago, I had parents, they died, had a brother, he died too, became the most kickass fighter pilot in the Navy, aaand then I met you.”
Damn. I knew the story about his brother, but I hadn’t realized he didn’t have any family. “Solo, I—”
He waved me off. “It’s fine. I’m fine.”
I doubted I’d be fine in his situation, and it wasn’t like Solo was some invincible superhuman who wouldn’t be affected, even years later. The brush-off made me wonder how deep the hurt went. “Can I ask what happened to your parents?”
Solo shrugged. “Old age. They had me late in life, and after José… Things happen in threes, you know? Bam, one, two, three within a year. Orphan Solo.” A rough laugh escaped his throat. “Get it? Orphan…Solo.”
It didn’t surprise me that he’d make a joke about something so hard in his life. That seemed to be his way, didn’t it? Make light of anything and everything to hide the vulnerability that had to be lurking so far down that no one would find it.
“I’m sorry about your family,” I said quietly.
“I told you it’s fine.”
“It’s okay if it’s not fine.”
A furrow formed between Solo’s brows, and he opened his mouth to say something that would no doubt be a smartass remark, but then seemed to think better of it and looked down at his hands. “I’m not sure what’s worse. Not having parents or having parents you hate.”
With the heel of my boot, I drew lines in the sand, something to do instead of having to look at the man beside me. “I don’t hate him. He only wants the best for me.”
“Why do you always defend him?”
“He’s my father. You saw him. He’s this larger-than-life person that everyone bows down to. If I’m anything less than perfect, it reflects on him.”
“Hmm. You are pretty perfect.” Solo nudged me until I looked up at him, and then he smiled, and it reached his dark eyes. “I bet you’d still be pretty fuckin’ hot even if you weren’t.”
I held his gaze, and then looked away, chuckling. “You just want to kiss me again.”
“Damn right I do. You even manage to do that perfectly.”
I rolled my eyes, and he laughed.
“It’s true. It’s actually annoying as shit. I’m hoping it was some kind of fluke, and when I kiss you again it’ll be all fish lips that I’ll have nightmares about.”
“Why the hell would you hope that?”
“So I could stop thinking about you.”
21 Solo
SURPRISE LIT PANTHER’S eyes, and for the life of me I couldn’t understand why. I’d been nothing but upfront about my attraction to him, something that was starting to drive me crazy, because I couldn’t understand it. I couldn’t stay away no matter how much I wanted to or how hard I tried.
Okay, strike that: I hadn’t tried very hard. He was everywhere—in class all day, every day, sleeping in the room beside mine…it was torture. Pure fucking torture that I inflicted on myself because… Well, shit. I didn’t actually know why. I just knew I didn’t want to stay away, and no matter what he said, I didn’t think he wanted me to stay away either.