“You were supposed to not get out and swim in the open, where everybody can frigging see you. Should I remind you that you’re violating your parole, and that we’re running away from kingpins with blood on their hands?”
Hysteria consumes me. I’d be shaking if it wasn’t for the fact it’s 300 degrees outside and I’m wearing a goddamned leather jacket. Nate shrugs inside the pool, disregarding me completely. I shake my head, exhaling.
“You’re so stupid, Nate. You act like it’s the first time you’ve even been to a pool,” I turn on my heel, about to walk away.
“It is,” he says. I freeze, spinning slowly. His eyes follow the hand he uses to splash the water around.
“Huh?” I ask, dropping my backpack on the floor. My face pinks but the night blankets my skin, keeping this our secret.
“Yeah,” he repeats louder. “I’ve never been inside a pool, even though I clean one regularly where I work in Blackhawk. Grew up in California, twenty-seven years old, and this is my first time.” He barks out a laugh, but it’s not bitter. He doesn’t give a damn about what people think, me included. Nate seems like he’s always been keenly aware of his circumstances. “Anyway, thought I’d check it out. See what all the fuss is about. Just in case. . .”
Just in case they kill us. I nod, offering him a small, knowing smile.
“Why is it that you only tattooed one side of your body?” I stand at the edge of the pool. I want to change the subject, but am also genuinely interested in the answer.
“The bare side represents my virtue. My ambitions. My good intentions. And the other side. . .that’s the dirty side of me. Violent and primal. It’s the side that kills without blinking.”
“You’re good,” I whisper.
“And bad,” he argues. “I’m the guy who took you as a prisoner, to be murdered by sacks of shit, remember?”
“But also the guy who ushered me out, and promised to help me seek revenge,” I maintain.
“And that, gorgeous, is why I have a clean part. Even on my skin.”
Even in your heart.
I shake my head. He may enjoy my words. . .but I’m mad about his.
Bending down, my knees touching the damp floor, our eyes level silently. His lashes are dark wet curtains and his mouth is even more perfect dripping with water, bathed in the moonlight. He breathes heavily. I don’t dare breathe at all. Complete opposites, with so much to give to each other. A storm and calm waters, we can create a natural disaster, but it would be beautiful and broken and ours.
Kiss me, my heart sings as my stare falls to his lips. Please, want me.
“I got scared when I saw you weren’t in the room,” I admit. He rests his head against mine, our bodies inches from one another. Pull me in.
“You ain’t listening when I talk, are you, Baby-Cakes? I told you to trust me.”
“I can’t trust a guy who wants to sleep with me. But I can trust a guy even less when he doesn’t,” I half-joke. But I’m scared. So scared. Because the odds are against us. Hell, everything and everyone is against us.
His lips laugh into mine, and the rumble of his wet chest dampens my dress. My underwear too, despite the fact he’s nowhere near them.
“You know, Pea, even though it’s been years since you and Camden broke up, I know that on some level, I’m still the goddamn rebound. This is the first time you’ve allowed yourself to get sucked into something that even vaguely resembles companionship. I need to tread carefully, figure out what you’re willing to give me on this short journey of ours. You wanna know the truth? I don’t know how. No one’s ever been careful about my feelings, about my trust. You’ve been sexually abused. I can go and spit some ‘I understand’ bullshit, but you’re too smart and I’m too honest. I don’t understand. So I’m letting you make the first move. If I touch you, I need permission, but make no mistake,” he says then catches my lower lip between his teeth and pulls, at first softly, and then hard enough to suck me into the pool with him. I willingly let my body drop forward but he catches me at the last minute. “I want you. I want your words and your body and your brain and your little stress ball bouncing against my face, even though it’s annoying as fuck. I want more than you could ever give me, so don’t worry about that part, Cockburn.”
Our chests are so close now, I feel his heartbeat in my own ribcage. And his words. I feel them, too. Everywhere. I’ve gone and done it again. Only this time, it’s ten times worse.