And then it happened. Ugly crying, butt-ass naked with my eyes slammed shut while I fucked a vibrator, my orgasm came.
It was stronger than any I’d ever felt, throwing me down on the bed in a fetal position. My body twitching as pleasure drowned my pussy and coated the toy along with my fingers. My body pulsed and jerked as tears streamed from my eyes, and grief swamped me. The orgasm was long and drawn out, like months and months of physical release had finally broken free.
I felt limp.
And sad.
Guilty.
Lonely.
More than anything though, I felt angry. Angry that I couldn’t even have one last fucking moment of pleasure with my husband. That not even his face could help me come.
By the time the last aftershock rocked my body, a small smile crossed my lips. I felt different somehow, more than relieved. More than satisfied.
I felt almost ready to live again.
Ready to move on.
Ready to kick this guilt and sorrow in the ass.
Maybe.
I sat up on the bed, flicked that damn clit-sucking monster on again and brought myself to another well-deserved orgasm.
Only it didn’t take as long this time.
Chapter Fifteen
Emmett
Even when I could finally work out, I couldn’t focus on anything other than Vanessa. This sucked because I had finally gotten the all clear from my doctor. My ribs were fully healed from the attack and full range of motion had returned to my neck and my shoulder. But I couldn’t do a damn thing about it because my mind was full of Vanessa and the way her mouth tasted against mine, the way she melted against my body.
The way she ground against my cock, panting and moaning like she’d been seconds away from an orgasm. She was incredible. Just fucking incredible.
“Man, I’m telling you, she had tits out to here,” Mace said with a dirty laugh. He’d just finished a set squats, and he had the attention of the guys as he described his latest date. “And she begged me to titty fuck her. Begged.”
I shook my head, but it was hard to be anything but amused when Mace started talking about his hookups. Half the time I’d swear the guy was looking for true love but the other half? He sounded like he was just a dirty pussy hound.
“And you obliged, of course?”
Mace went on to finish a set of presses and continued with his story, shrugging like it was nothing and for a big dude like him, it really wasn’t. “She was too cute to disappoint, and the way she took my cock deep when I titty fucked her? Well I’m taking her out again tonight. I might be in love.”
Hulu barked out a laugh and shook his head. “Love? Just how deep does a girl need to suck you off to get your brain, man?”
Mace flipped him off. “Bro, you don’t get it. This chick is the real deal. Over dinner she talked to me about Socrates and shit, waxed poetic about the music of The Doors, and then she was dirty as fuck in bed. Do you come across women like that all the time? I sure as shit don’t.”
“You’re serious.” I don’t know why I sounded so shocked, but I was.
“Hell yeah, man. She’s great and in the sack, she’s phenomenal.” He was serious, and I was happy for him, if a little envious.
“Good for you, Mace.”
“Yeah, thanks Emmett. Now you want to tell us who put that goofy ass grin on your face?”
Hulu laughed. “Don’t even bother asking that question, Emmett is applying for the role as Glitz’s resident monk. A dangerous job considering somebody is out here icing priests.”
“Damn, Hulu, that’s cold. But hilarious,” Mace laughed and moved to pick up free weights. “Seriously, you and Nessa just friends or you playing the long game?”
I frowned because I didn’t want to talk about Vanessa like she was just another woman. Another conquest. She wasn’t anything of the sort, and I wanted more than just a few rounds of sex.
“We’re friends, simple as that.”
Mace and Hulu looked at each other and laughed. “Long game,” they said at the same time.
“Fuck you guys.” I punctuated the words with a two-handed bird. I wasn’t playing a game, but I knew Vanessa was still fragile and suffering the effects of grief, so I was happy to be her friend while she needed one. I just hoped I didn’t end up in the friend zone permanently.
“I’ve seen the way you look at her, man.” Hulu clasped his beefy hands together and batted his eyelashes. “And she looks at you the same. If nothing has happened yet, it will soon enough.” His dark eyes held mine for a second, assessing me like an enemy combatant.
“And? I’m listening to the warning or the threat.” I knew the guys had all grown a soft spot for Vanessa, and I knew what I was, where I was from. “Let’s have it.”