No. Fuck shaking him. There were much better ways to punish him.
I told myself I was following him because I needed to learn everything about him, but that wasn’t the only reason. I wanted him, and it was more than just his looks that made him attractive. It was the way he carried himself and the fact that he always seemed to be having fun. I wasn’t sure I would know what fun was if it bit me in the ass. His relaxed charm made me long to know his secrets, even as it made me want to pin him down and break him.
Fuck. I was doing exactly what Devil had predicted, lying in bed thinking about how much I wanted to fuck him. I wanted to be the one in charge. I wanted to tie him down, hold him at gunpoint, and sink into his tight ass.
That was absolutely not fucking happening.
I’d crossed several lines tonight. I needed to walk away from the Milano case, but I wouldn’t because Lily was dead, and her killer needed to be put away. I used to believe in following rules like not butting into someone else’s case and not fucking suspects. I still mostly did, but I wasn’t going to sit back and watch Murphy fuck up this case. I’d lied to witnesses so I could question them, saying I was an assistant on the case. I’d copied case notes and borrowed evidence without signing it out. If I got caught, I could fuck up the whole investigation, but if I found the evidence needed to convict the killer, the risk would be worth it.
I could justify almost everything I’d done. Everything but fucking Devil. That had been pure insanity.
And yet, as I lay there, staring at the cracks in my ceiling, I wrapped my hand around my cock and began to move it up and down, gripping my shaft tightly the way Devil had.
I tried to conjure up other fantasies, but thoughts of Devil sent them all scattering, so I gave in the way I had in the alley. This time I was in control. I tied Devil’s hands behind him, pushed his face into the mattress, and pinned him down by the back of his neck so I could shove my cock into his tight ass with no prep and no concern for how much it hurt. I drove into him harder and harder as he groaned and writhed beneath me. Then I squeezed his throat, cutting off his air, feeling him struggle. When I let go, he came, his ass squeezing my cock so hard it hurt.
“Fuck yes.” Cum shot over my hand, bringing me back to the present, to the dull room where I was very much alone with the shame of doing exactly what that bastard said I would.
I grabbed a book from my nightstand and threw it across the room before stomping to the bathroom to clean up for the second time that night.
“What the fuck have you been doing for the last few days?” my lieutenant asked. “You’re not making progress on any of your cases. I’m not paying you to take a fucking nap.”
I clenched my fists and exhaled. “I’ve been interviewing people and following a few leads. Those aren’t things I can do from my desk.”
“They’re also apparently not things that lead to closing your cases.”
“If the evidence isn’t there, I can’t—”
“You can try other angles. I know you wanted the Milano case, but—”
“I’m doing my fucking job, okay?”
He raised his brows and glared. Lieutenant McDonough was a good man. A good cop. He knew about what I’d dug up on Murphy, but his hands were tied as well. He hadn’t been the one who’d change the case assignment. The order had come from higher up.
“Everyone has to do the work they’re assigned, and anything extracurricular has got to be done on your own time. Do you get me?” Did he know I was looking into the Milano case? Was that his roundabout way of saying he was okay with it?
“Yes, sir. I’ll do my best to be more efficient today.”
He gave a sharp nod. “See that you do. You do good work when you focus.” He tapped a folder on his desk and then slid it across the chipped surface toward me. “One more thing. Dobson’s out with food poisoning. I need you to take over a manslaughter investigation he was working. It looks fairly cut and dried. See if you can get what we need for a charge.”
I was already drowning in cases, most of which had no leads. I started to protest, but McDonough held up his hand. “No complaints, Daniels.”
“Yes, sir.”
I slunk from his office and dropped the new case file on my desk.
“McDonough busting your chops?” I wasn’t known for working well with others, but after six months together, I hadn’t managed to piss Lindsay off enough to make her request a transfer.