Lane would likely be horrified to see how few possessions I had, but I’d gotten used to owning little in the military. I’d never really adjusted to civilian life. That was just another way Lane and I were opposites. But it didn’t matter. I loved him anyway.
I loved him.
X had nearly lost it when he’d seen me kissing and holding Lane, but he’d managed not to say anything in the moment. He’d sent me to consult with the Marchesis on our clean up strategy and solicit Devil’s help in our interrogation of the men I’d wounded.
X had called me as soon as his doctor had examined Lane and let me know Lane would be fine. Then he told me he didn’t want me to see his son again. It was bad enough I’d convinced him to let Lane assist us, but he wasn’t about to let me bring his son further into my life.
“Get to know him,” I told X, even though I was furious. “It’s worth the risk.” And maybe if he did, he’d see that Lane was an adult who needed to make his own decisions.
“After what happened tonight, how can you dare to say that to me?”
“No matter if you reveal yourself to him or not, his safety isn’t guaranteed. What if Sandra hadn’t come to you? What if Alan had gotten to him before you knew what was going on.”
“I can’t… I can’t think about that.” X sounded like he’d been punched in the gut.
“Take the chance, no matter what you think about me and Lane.”
“I told you not to touch him.”
“I hadn’t planned to, but…” I stopped myself from telling him we’d already met. That wouldn’t make this any better. “I didn’t go after him because it was convenient to hook up with him when we were at the cabin. He’s way more special to me than that.”
“I can’t talk about this now. I’m too angry.”
I ended the call without saying anything else. Since then, I hadn’t slept, I hadn’t eaten, I hadn’t done anything except think about what the hell I was going to do. My job had meant everything to me from the moment I’d been selected for special forces.
Even when I was with Thomas, we’d both put the job first. I didn’t know what to do. X wouldn’t allow me to remain part of Vigilance if I pursued his son. I’d spent so many years cut off from everyone but the men in the organization. Even with them, I didn’t open up often.
Now that I’d let myself feel, I’d remembered that sometimes a person had to follow their heart.
My phone rang. I hoped it was Lane. I hadn’t heard anything from him. When I looked at the screen, my heart sank. It was Niall.
I answered immediately. “Is everything okay?”
“Yes. Our cover is holding solidly, and we’ve gained enough intel to bring down several of Alan’s associates?”
“What about the congressman?”
“The asshole has covered his tracks damn well, but we will get him.”
“If everything is going smoothly, then why—”
“Go see Lane.”
“Why? What’s wrong?”
“The fact that you love him, and he loves you, and you’re brooding instead of letting yourself have what you want.”
“Did you see how angry X was?”
“I know how much you respect him because I do too. I trust him, and that’s rare for me.”
I snorted. “Yeah. Same.”
“But he’s wrong about this.”
“You don’t know all of it.”
“I know Lane is X’s son.”
That shocked me. “He told you?”
“Yes. After you left to meet with the Marchesis, X went a little crazy. Things weren’t moving fast enough to suit him, and Leo and I needed to calm him down. We asked him what was going on because we’d never seen him lose his cool like that. He told us then and said you were the only other one who knew.”
“I wish he’d tell Lane.”
“Yeah, that would probably be good, but whatever he chooses to do about that, you need to do what’s right for you.”
“He’s going to fire me if I see Lane again. Or maybe just fucking kill me.”
“He won’t. He’ll come around eventually.”
Could I possibly believe that? “You really think he’s going to accept us together?”
“I don’t think he’s going to have a choice because Lane’s not going to let it be any other way unless he thinks you don’t care. I heard what you said to him before he passed out.”
I sighed. “He was drugged and pretty out of it. He may think he dreamed it.”
“Then he needs you to tell him he didn’t.”
He was right. Abso-fucking-lutely right.
“Get the fuck off the phone so I can go.”
“Go where?”
“To get my man.”
I heard Niall laugh before he ended the call.
I didn’t let myself analyze what I was doing; I just left the house. I was going to show up at Lane’s apartment and tell him exactly how I felt. I was going to choose him.