I stared at the crab claws in front of me as I forced one into my mouth. I had to eat. I’d been working downstairs all day and I was still a good month away from opening the place. I took a drink of my water and then looked over at my phone. I hadn’t talked to Eli in two weeks. He knew I had bought the place, but I’d been so busy getting moved in I hadn’t texted him.
I reached for my phone and decided to change that. We weren’t meant to be more than friends but I’d come to enjoy his friendship. We both loved people who didn’t love us. He understood.
Moved in. When are you coming to visit? then I pressed send.
Ophelia wasn’t moved in yet. Her room was almost completed. She’d gone to LA with Phoenix to visit their grandfather for a week. The place had been quiet. Just me and my dad along with some of his crew who had been working on the room the last few days.
When I’m invited. Was his reply.
I missed him. I missed the trustworthy guy who I could depend on to do what he said he was going to do. He was honest and didn’t do things that could hurt others. I wished that Eli had been the one to steal my heart. Seeing Cruz with someone else would be easier if he had.
You’re invited. Consider this your official invitation.
Texting him eased the ache I felt in my heart and I began to eat my food and enjoy it. If I could go back and not beg Cruz for the impossible that night on Bourbon Street, I would. I’d take it all back. Give up the memories. People that said they wouldn’t trade it even though it hurts were crazy. I would give it up in a heartbeat. I didn’t want to think about him.
I wanted to forget it all.
Friday night too soon? Eli texted back.
It’s perfect, I replied.
That gave me two days to get this place ready. I would make some plans for us and then enjoy myself. I wouldn’t think about Cruz. I wouldn’t care what or who he was doing. I would live my life.
I’ll start packing.
I laughed at that last text and finished eating.
Things were turning out different than I had imagined but they weren’t bad. Not at all. I was excited. Soon I’d own a dance studio. I’d get to teach kids. I’d encourage them to find their love of dance the way I had.
I cleaned up my meal and went downstairs to get back to painting the walls. Dad had offered to do it, but I wanted to know I had done something. This was my place. I liked having my hand in getting it ready to move in.
When I walked in the door, Cruz was standing there looking around. His hands were in his jeans pockets, a look I couldn’t quite read on his face. I thought about turning around and running back upstairs but I wasn’t twelve. I was an adult and this was my studio.
“Can I help you?” I asked.
His gaze swung to me. He hadn’t heard me come in. “Hey.”
I didn’t respond to that. I just continued silently stare at him.
“About what you saw,” he began and I held up a hand to stop him.
“Don’t. Please don’t come in here and act like you have to explain anything to me. I think I made myself clear at your house. We had closure. It’s done. I have painting to do. If you’ll excuse me.” I walked over to the paint and roller I had left earlier hoping he’d just turn and leave.
“If you’ve got your fucking closure why did your eyes look so damn hurt? Tell me that, Lila. Tell me why those eyes of yours took my goddamn breath away? Because it sure as hell wasn’t fucking closure I saw in them.”
I paused and took a deep breath. He was right. But I wasn’t going to admit it. “Still just fresh. I’ll be over it soon enough.”
“When you figure out how to get over it could you fucking tell me how? Because God knows I need help myself.”
I couldn’t let him get to me. I couldn’t let his words make me weak or think I could ever trust him. That we could ever have anything.
“You were doing just fine,” I shot back bending to get the roller and take the top off the paint can.
“Lila, look at me. Jesus, just fucking look at me. Tell me if this looks like a guy who is over it? You saw me flirt. I have been flirting since I was old enough to walk. It means nothing. It’s just how I react to women who are flirting with me.”
I laughed then shook my head. “Whatever. I do not care. Just go.”