“No more bars,” he said against my mouth. “Back to the hotel. And we’re not staying in two fucking rooms.”
I didn’t argue. I just gave a nod of my head in agreement. This was it. It better not be a dream.
Cruz Kerrington
THERE WERE SMART decisions and stupid decisions. And then there were mistakes. I wasn’t sure where this one landed, but with Lila in my arms smelling like heaven, and the image of her dancing on that table was all that I cared about, at the moment.
I broke the kiss, grabbed her elbow and headed for the hotel. We were staying at a hotel just a few blocks ahead on the corner of Canal and Bourbon. I realized, as I all but ran without speaking, that deep down I was worried she’d sober up and change her mind. If I were half the fucking man I should be, I wouldn’t let her do this tonight while she was drunk . . . while I was drunk.
But I’d tried to tell her what a screw up I was. She seemed to see more in me than was there. I wanted there to be more. I wanted to meet her expectations. When I was a kid, I had seen the look in her eyes, and I knew she saw me differently than she saw Nate. I loved that. I was different. It made me feel important. Then I’d kissed her, and it had scared me.
I knew then Lila Kate wasn’t for me. I wasn’t the kind of guy she’d want for long. She’d see too much eventually. It would change her mind. And she’d never gaze at me with that dreamy look in her eyes again. The idea I could lose that caused me to put a wall there. One built by hurting her. It had worked. Until now. Until I’d heard she’d left town and I chased after her, because I couldn’t stand the idea of her finding a life without me in it.
As we entered the hotel, I paused and glanced down at her. The girl from my childhood. The girl I’d always watched but never allowed myself to get close to. The one I pretended like I didn’t know why she avoided me.
“Are you sure?” I asked her.
“Yes.”
I waited. I needed her to think. Let it all sink in. “We could sleep tonight. Wait until the morning.”
She smiled. A soft one that made her eyes glow and made me feel like more of a man than I should. “Tonight,” she finally said.
Fuck if I could ignore that. We would have tonight. If she regretted it in the morning, it might break me. But I was willing to chance it.
The trip up to her room was short but so many thoughts ran through my mind it felt much longer than it was. She touched her card key to the lock and it flashed green. This was it.
The door opened. We walked inside. My room was identical to this one. Just next door. I’d made a joke about it when we checked in. I wasn’t joking now. I should be in that room. Alone. It was the right thing to do.
“Lila,” I said thinking I should stop this.
She dropped her small shoulder purse on the floor then took the bottom of her shirt and pulled it up over her head. The white lace bra was small and the swell of her breasts looked as if they were about to spill out over the top exposing her nipples. Her shirt dropped to the floor beside her then she reached around and unsnapped her bra. I watched with fascination as the straps slid down her thin tan arms until her bra joined her shirt on the floor. Her round dark nipples pebbled from the chill of the room or from her excitement drawing my attention.
I moved, closing the space between us. Unable to keep my hands to myself I covered both her breasts with my hands. Although my hands were large they weren’t large enough to take each breast completely. The excess excited me and I squeezed letting the softness tease my hands.
“Fuck me,” her voice caught as she said the words. Those weren’t words I ever imagined coming from her lips. They didn’t fit Lila Kate. But the way her voice shook as she said them. The way she leaned into me and a soft moan escaped her simply from my touch made this all seem right. Like it was supposed to be. Like we were supposed to be.
The restraint I had held onto snapped. The naughty side of Lila was too much for a man to take. I grabbed her skirt and jerked it down until she stood there in nothing but a pair of black lace panties. They did little to cover her. Almost pointless unless trying to seduce a man. And I was seduced. I jerked my own shirt off and tossed it away.