“Tully.”
“Yes?”
“I… have to go home,” I say haltingly. I’m not sure why I’m insisting on this. Sometimes, my actions and words don’t make sense even to me. But for some reason, I have to this time.
“All my things are there.”
I need to push. I need to feel some control, some autonomy over my life again, now that so much is uncertain.
He shrugs. “I’ll have them brought here. Should’ve already fucking done that.”
I blow out a breath. “I don’t want them brought here. I want to get them myself.”
He gives me a curious look. “Very well, then. I’ll take you after I finish today’s job.” Will I get any space or privacy at all? And what’s his “job?”
“What’s that? What do you have to do?”
He rolls his eyes at me. “You know I can’t tell you that, McKenna.”
“Does it involve me?”
He doesn’t answer. Bloody hell.
I step into a pair of flats, mulling over what he’s said, when someone knocks on the door.
“I’ll get it,” I tell him. He stands in the doorway, adjusting his belt, and watches me answer the door.
“Look through the peephole,” he orders, his tone tight and angry.
“Naturally.” I roll my eyes, but he doesn’t see. Why would I open the door and not look through the peephole? He mutters something under his breath, and I swear he’s looking for another excuse to smack my arse. A part of me almost wishes he would. He’s been treating me like I’m broken, or like he’ll break me, and although I appreciated it at first, now it’s driving me fucking mad.
“It’s just Caitlin,” I say. I open the door.
“Hey there.”
“McKenna,” she says, her voice laced with concern. She’s the kindest woman here, so gentle and maternal. “How are you?”
I swallow the lump in my throat. “Better,” I whisper. “You?”
She reaches for my hand and gives me a little squeeze. “Oh, I’m good. You know, I’ve been in this exact position before.” Her eyes grow cloudy.
“Have you? Come in, Caitlin.” I don’t want to stand here in the doorway talking about this.
“Aye,” she says. “And thanks for that, but I have to get back downstairs. I came up to ask you if you’d like to join me and the girls for a bit of shopping in town? Mary’s going back to Scotland soon, and we want to enjoy some time with her before she goes.”
“Oh. Oh, right.”
Mary’s spent time with my mum.
“We’d like your company,” Caitlin says with a smile.
I long for some companionship right now, and I’ve come to love the women of the Clan. They’re smart and witty, and they all share a common love for the brutal men of the Irish mob. It’s built an undeniable camaraderie among them, and I long to be a part of it.
I need to be able to rely on someone. To confide in someone who isn’t Tully.
“Where are you going?” Tully stands in the doorway, and he doesn’t look too pleased.
“Oh, we’ll get lunch at D’Agostino’s and do some shopping at the little shops in town.”
Tully shakes his head. “And your men are okay with this?”
Caitlin blinks. “Keenan said yes, if we take a guard. He’s sent his best. Aileen is with us, and Megan and Fiona.”
He shakes his head. “Not sure I’m alright with it.”
I feel my jaw drop. “Tully, seriously?”
Is he really the one that has this say?
He shakes his head. “You’re not three days away from… that incident,” he says, his eyes clouding. “The doctor said you needed to rest.”
“And the doctor said I needed to be sure I don’t fall into depression over the whole damn thing,” I snap. “Seems going with the girls to do some shopping might be just the ticket.”
He crosses his arms and scowls. “No.”
“No? And I’m supposed to just listen to you? As if you’re my fucking father?”
“Oh, goodness,” Caitlin says behind me. “I shouldn’t have come. So sorry, McKenna, I don’t want to cause any trouble between you two.”
“Oh, you’re not the one causing trouble.” I glare right back at him.
What am I doing here? Why have I come? This is absolute bullshit.
A child we shared… that brought us together, and I would even go so far as to say united us. But now that there is no baby…
“I’ll be going,” Caitlin says.
I turn to her. “I’m going with you.”
She shakes her head sadly. “Sorry, McKenna, but no. Keenan wouldn’t want me encouraging you to do anything against what Tully says.”
“Are you serious?” My temper’s at full throttle. “This is absolute rubbish!”
Caitlin only smiles sadly and takes her leave. I hear the other women chattering downstairs, and slam the door as hard as I can. I feel like a child who’s just been punished.
I spin around to find Tully giving me a look I normally heed.
“I can’t believe you did that.” I can’t believe I’m so angry at something so small. I mean, the truth is, I don’t even want to go shopping. It’s just the whole principle of the thing.