“No?” I stood there, big and dumb.
“No.” She smiled. Her lips looked so plump, glistening and lush. “Would you like to come in?”
“Huh?” I looked down at her. I’d forgotten why I was there. I really wanted to kiss her.
“Do you want to stand on the porch or would you like to come in?” She teased me, that sweet kindness in her eyes again. But I knew what I was there to do. I wasn’t there to ravage her, smother her in kisses, pin her to the floor and fuck her senseless like I wanted to, like I had many times before.
No, this time I’d be a good guy even if it killed me. And looking at her standing there, barefoot, no bra on, her breasts luscious and full, I realized it just might. It really might kill me.
But I could do this. I’d done harder things. Right? Hadn’t I? Nothing came to mind.
I cleared my throat. “I’m not staying. I just came here to say something. Then I’ll get out of your hair.”
“Thank you, Declan,” she interrupted me, softly. “I know you did it. And I can’t tell you how much…” Her voice started to break.
“Kara.” I thrust my hand up into my hair so I wouldn’t touch her. Christ, she was making this hard.
“I’m so…” She continued to try to thank me. “I’m amazed—”
“I should have done it the morning you walked into my office.” I shook my head, disgusted with myself. “I should have helped you straight off instead of being a selfish bastard. I’ve caused you so much pain.”
“No.” She started to protest, always too generous with me.
“Yes, I have hurt you, Kara. I have.” Now my hand fisted in my hair, nearly ripping it out at the roots.
I stopped and took a deep breath. This wasn’t about me. This wasn’t my time to flagellate myself. There’d be plenty of time for that, years and years. This was about showing restraint, being the good guy. She wanted to be set free and I’d do it.
“I’ll go,” I exhaled, staying calm, focused, controlled. She stood trembling before me and it took all my strength not to wrap her in my arms, bury my face in her neck, sweep her up and into the house and onto a bed. But that wouldn’t solve anything. Her body would comply, but her brain would fight it. She didn’t trust me. She didn’t want what I had to offer. I needed to respect her wishes.
“But there’s something I need to say first.” My boots planted firmly on the ground, I looked up steady into her eyes and spoke the truth. “I love you.”
“What?” Her voice soft, she met my gaze, her pink lips parting.
“I love you,” I repeated, sure as I’d ever been about anything in my life. “I love you. Always have. Always will.”
Then I turned my back on her for the last time. Out of habit, I’d parked next to the old cabin. That stretch of dirt driveway had never felt longer, every step heavy as lead. But I’d do it, for Kara, because I loved her enough to leave her.
CHAPTER 6
Kara
Emotion welled up in me as I watched Declan walk away from my front porch. His massive shoulders and broad chest stooped and downcast, he made his way to his truck. I wanted to call out but words stuck in my throat. I couldn’t process everything that was happening, everything I’d gone through that day. I felt dizzy and shocked and amazed.
He loved me?
Wait, he couldn’t leave!
I ran down the stairs fast as my barefoot feet could take me. He’d almost made it to his truck. Shock had made me that stupid and slow.
“Declan!” I cried out, hand up to his shoulder.
“Kara.” He turned around in an instant.
“Don’t go!” I pleaded. He crushed me to him, kissing me like a starving man, searing me on my mouth, my cheeks, my throat.
“I love you,” I cried, kissing him back, not wanting to remove my lips from him for an instant but needing to say it to him. “I love you.”
“Don’t cry,” he whispered, wiping my tears with his fingers as he kissed them away.
“I didn’t know I was.” I smiled and kissed him some more, my fingers twining up into the hair he’d nearly pulled out moments ago. I drew him closer. I never wanted to let go.
“I love you, Kara,” he murmured into me and we kissed with an intense tenderness that sealed my heart, making it whole. “I’m so sorry for what I’ve put you through.”
“Shh,” I whispered in his ear, hands caressing his shoulders. “That’s all behind us now.”
“I should have done it the second you asked,” he continued, torturing himself. I couldn’t take the anguish in his voice. I had to make it better, soothe him. Reaching up, I kissed his mouth so he’d stop, kiss me back instead, meld our two breaths as one. Our tongues licked and danced together, promising and guiding, loving each other.
He held me to him, pressing me close against his chest and fast-beating heart, burying his face in my hair. “I don’t care if you just want me for my money, Kara. I’ll give it all to you. I’ll give you everything I have. I don’t care.”
“Shut up, Declan.” I brought my mouth to his again.
“But I want you to know,” he broke away again, frustrating the hell out of me, “there’s nothing going on with Courtney. I know I’m a dog. I’ve been a dog. But when you saw us I wasn’t kissing her. She was all over me.”
“OK.” I placed my fingers to his lips, so wide and full, those lips that worked such magic on me. “OK,” I repeated, stroking him now, caressing his lower lip with my thumb, licking my own lips in anticipation. Because right then, I did know. He was telling me the truth.
“I love you,” he repeated, his arms surrounding me, binding me to his broad, hard chest.
“I love you so much, Declan.” My heart felt so full as I said it, brimming and overflowing, finally released as it had needed for so many years. We kissed as we repeated the words to each other, kissing and telling each other what we urgently needed to say.
With a groan of victory, he swept me into his large, powerful arms and strode to the nearest building, his old cabin. Unlocked, unused with our reduced ranch staff, Declan and I tumbled in. Fumbling hot and needy in the dark, he pressed me up against the wall. He tore my shirt up and over my head and ripped off my bra as if it had been insulting him. My heart beat fast as I reached out for him, wanting him bare as well, skin against skin. Kissing, moaning, pulling, we undressed each other in haste, unable to bear another second without full contact.
Up against the wall, he brought his hands under my ass to position me exactly how I fit best, like two interlocking puzzle pieces. My legs splayed open around his broad girth, I dug my heels into the backs of his thighs. It felt like being claimed by a lion, licking me all over, holding me with his strong paws, his huge, hard body stretched over me as he tasted every inch of me, scenting, marking, devouring me.
“Mine,” he growled, hungry, possessive.
“Yes, Declan.” I shuddered into him.
He grasped my thighs and spread my legs even wider apart, pressing the full, hard length of his cock against me. I threw my head back at
the feel of him, so dominant, so male. I wanted him so badly, inside of me, driving, pounding. But he moved away, and I whimpered with loss. Until he kneeled, spread me wider with his fingers and I felt his hot, demanding tongue licking the full, straight length of my slippery slit.
“Ah!” With a scream, I already felt close to orgasm with the ferocity in his movements, the unrestrained lust.
“Mine,” he declared again, holding me fast with his hands, widespread for his access. His wicked tongue plunged into me again and again, up to circle my clit, work the sensitive bud, then down along my slit and inside of me, making me frenzied.
“You belong to me!” he hissed, angry, possessive. Circling my clit, he commanded, “Say it!”
“I belong to you!” I cried out, nearly undone, tears at my eyes.
Just as I was about to come, he stood up suddenly and repositioned his hands, keeping my legs spread wide and tilting my hips toward him. I nearly came at the feel of his hard cock at my wet entrance, the thick, wide crown pushing aside my folds. He plunged into me, full throttle, all the way to the hilt. I came, shuddering, screaming and clasping his shoulders. He supported my weight in his hands, his broad palms underneath my ass cheeks. But he didn’t give me any time to recover. Relentless, pounding, he began straightaway to fuck me long and strong and hard, bruising my hips as he plunged into my wet pussy again and again.
“Yes, Declan, yes!” I could feel a few tears on my cheeks, fresh or from before I couldn’t tell. I had so many intense emotions coursing through me. All I knew was that I loved this man, so much, so completely.
“Do you know how many times I wanted to do this to you?” he growled into my ear, fucking me against the wall of his cabin. “How many nights I laid here awake in this cabin thinking about doing this.” He thrust into me, his hips pinning mine to the wall. I opened my thighs wide and tilted my hips up to take everything he could give me. “I’ve wanted you so long, so much.”