“Ash Black?” He showed no recognition.
“Ash Black!” I continued, as if just the repetition of his name would jog his memory. There was no way he hadn’t heard of the guy. He was the lead singer of a hugely popular rock band. I loved his music. “You know, the lead singer of The Blacklist?”
“The Blacklist.” Declan nodded as if vaguely recalling something associated with that name.
“Come on, you know! ‘Get up, Get out?’ ‘Starfish?’ ‘I’m Outta?’”
“I Oughta?” He looked at me like I was speaking another language.
“No, I’m Outta. You know, like,” I drew myself to sit up tall and began belting it out, Ash Black style, “I’m outta here! You never even knew my name!”
“Yeah,” Declan nodded, “I think I’ve heard that.”
“Everyone’s heard that!” I guessed amassing your own real estate empire by the age of 27 like Declan had didn’t exactly leave much time for listening to music. But, still, The Blacklist was the hottest band I could think of. So hot, the music and the lead singer.
“I can’t believe it,” I gushed, looked down at the portfolio again. There was no picture included on the page devoted to him, shame. But there was a brief descriptive bio, how he’d formed the band at 18 under the name Ash Black. Now 26, he lived in San Francisco.
“What are the chances?” I asked, amazed.
“Slim to none,” Declan answered, sounding like he wished it were the latter.
“He’s so hot!” I looked over at Declan sitting beside me on the couch, now decidedly glowering. OK, maybe hot wasn’t the right word to use. “I mean, he’s not as hot as you.” It was completely true, no one held a candle to my Declan. But it didn’t sound true coming out of my mouth, not at the moment.
“OK, that might be enough meeting my family.” He moved his hands to take the portfolio out of my lap.
“No! No!” I snatched it in my greedy little hands. “OK, I promise! No more Ash Black! Even if it is crazy that you’re related to a rock star.”
“I don’t see what’s so great about it,” he grumbled.
“All right, look.” I turned the page. “The next brother is named Heathcliff. That’s a ridiculous name. And he lives in Vermont. No one lives in Vermont.”
Declan grunted, non-committal.
“And Georgiana! Your baby sister! That’s so cute!”
“She’s only four years younger than you. She’s not an actual baby.” Again, he tried to temper my enthusiasm. To no avail.
“I know! We might become good friends! Ooh, she’s in school at Vanderbilt University. That sounds fancy.”
“It is,” Declan confirmed.
I bet she was lovely. I could be like an older sister to her! Maybe she liked some of the kinds of things I did? Maybe we could trade recipes and raise our children together, holidays with the cousins!
Declan took the portfolio from my lap and flipped through the remaining pages. Apparently his father had remarried toward the end of his life, just three years before he passed away. Altogether, he’d left behind a sum total of six descendants: Declan, four from his first wife plus a stepson.
“Six kids,” I marveled. From three different women. But, I guessed family came in all shapes and sizes. Whatever, however, whoever, I thought it was exciting.
Declan clearly didn’t. He sat staring at a page with a picture of his father, the late Richard Kavanaugh. “He wanted to find me.” He shook his head, staring into the middle distance. “I can’t believe it.”
“It sounds like he tried.”
“But he didn’t succeed.” He looked up at me and I could see all the emotions there swirling through him, sadness and anger and loss. I needed to settle down and give him time to make sense of this all.
I didn’t even bring up the two hundred and fifty million dollar elephant in the room. It harrumphed and trumpeted around enough without my saying a word. That was a gargantuan amount of money. I knew Declan didn’t need it, he had more than enough as it was, but what could that kind of money do for his charity? Think of the children he could help with that kind of funding.
But to release the funds, he had to agree to meet the family. As much as I wanted to hop on a plane with him right now and be by his side as we knocked on everyone’s doors, starting with Ash Black so I could get him to sign a t-shirt for me, I had to admit, I couldn’t exactly picture Declan doing it. He was such a proud man, had defined himself so resolutely as a lone wolf. He’d spent all 27 of his years standing proudly on his own two feet. What would it feel like for him now to attempt to enter into a family that didn’t want him to exist?
He was probably right, with that kind of money there had to be at least some relatives who wished he’d crawl right back under a rock and leave that money untouched so the rest of them could split it. Not to mention the ex-wife his father had cheated on when he’d come out to Montana and slept with Declan’s mother. She couldn’t be happy about him surfacing now, after all those years. Declan wouldn’t want any part of causing more pain and anger.
Still, I couldn’t shake it, the sense that this was a good thing. He wasn’t an unwanted cast-off, a boy whose father had abandoned him. His father had wanted to find him, had sent money to provide for him all along.
But I couldn’t push. Declan was a stubborn and proud man, and he needed time to make his own decision. I wanted to plunge in headlong, but I always wanted to do that. I felt certain things would work out. Declan felt certain everything would require a fight to the death. It was one of the many reasons we made a good team together. We balanced each other out.
Declan put the thick, black portfolio back down on the coffee table.
“Let’s go get some dinner,” I said, giving him the opportunity to change the subject.
“Sounds great to me,” he agreed.
I knew what I needed to do. I needed to give him time. It wasn’t as if we were married and this was a joint decision.
In fact, I didn’t even know what the future would bring for us. I’d been hanging out with him here at this resort, lounging in this alternate universe, recovering from my trauma. Bill at the ranch and Dot at the diner encouraged me to do it, but soon I’d have to return to reality. Would Declan be in it? Different question, same answer. Give it time.
§
“Wanna go swimming?” The next day Declan sauntered into the main room in the cabin, a boyish grin on his face. I loved seeing
him look so young. I wondered how many times in his life he’d had the chance to ask that question. I guessed it hadn’t been all that many. His childhood hadn’t exactly been filled with lazy days picnicking at swimming holes.
“I didn’t even know you were back!” I stood up from the couch, delighted. He’d headed up to Billings early that morning, but now, three o’clock, here he was.
“You up for a swim? he asked again.
“Absolutely,” I agreed.
“There’s this amazing creek,” Declan continued, sounding a lot like a six-year-old the night before Christmas. “I can’t wait to show you.”
“I can’t wait to see it!”
“Wait…” He paused and drew back. “Are you sure you’re up to this? I don’t want to exhaust you.”
“Declan, yes, I’m up for it.” If I could have sex with him like a rabid bunny, I figured I could manage to go for a swim. He still seemed nervous about my full recovery, but I wasn’t, not anymore.
Declan packed a picnic blanket and some towels. I pulled together some sandwiches, chips and fruit. We headed off into the day, blue sky, green grass and birds chirping overhead.
Driving over, I felt my whole body relax. I didn’t have to fight anything anymore. Declan had been my fantasy since I’d been 18. I’d fallen for him the moment I’d seen him. I hadn’t been able to stop thinking about him ever since.
“I can’t believe you left because my father kicked you out,” I blurted out, mid-stream of my thoughts.
“Wow, what’s going on in your head over there?” At the wheel, Declan looked over at me.
“I guess I’m just still adjusting. So much has happened in the past couple of weeks.”
“That is a massive understatement,” he agreed.
“That summer you left? I really thought you’d hit it and quit it.” I shook my head. I’d known my father was over-protective, but his role in it all still surprised me. “I can’t believe my father did that.”
“I was pissed at the time,” Declan acknowledged. “But, now I get it. I was a mangy mutt back then.”