Snapping the curtain back in place, I turned to see a porcelain pixie face looking up at me.
“What’s your name?” I asked bluntly. The chick seemed taken aback.
“What?” I asked again, confused by her strange reaction to my question.
She shook her head nervously and her chin-length jet-black hair rocked back and forth. “Y-you just shocked me, that’s all. You’ve never asked my name before. Didn’t think you’d ever want to know my name after the last few weeks.”
I dipped my chin and urged her to answer the question with my eyes. I saw her swallow, her neck so slender I could see her every move.
“Lexi,” she said as soft as a damn feather. “My name’s Lexi Hart.”
Rome had been right.
I don’t know why, but knowing her name made her seem more human, and I felt like an even bigger dick for the way I’d been treating her. She was so small. Seemed so fragile. Like the littlest thing could destroy her.
I couldn’t take my eyes off her, and here in the shadows of the room, only a slither of blue-hued moonlight reached where we stood, making her look kind of like she’d stepped fresh from the pages of a steam punk fairytale. Her skin was light and smooth, her hair the color of a raven, and those red lips. Her green eyes reminded me of the sea, a calm summer’s sea sleeping under a burning sunset.
She was f**kin’ gorgeous.
Fidgeting awkwardly at my heavy staring, she wrapped her arms around her stomach and pushed, “So? What’s happening out there?”
My teeth rolled over my bottom lip as I contemplated lying. But what was the point? Besides Rome, only little Lexi here knew what I was caught up in, what my brothers did for a living, the real Austin Carillo off the football field.
“The dogs,” she said quietly and stared up at me, looking a little scared. “They’re searching for drugs, aren’t they?”
I nodded my head cautiously.
Breathing loudly, she backed up to the sofa and sat on the edge, playing with her fingers, head cast down. I watched her mulling shit over, that was until she looked up through long black lashes and bravely asked, “Drugs supplied by your brother, I’m guessing?”
Protective instinct drove my reaction.
Storming forward, I towered above her and growled, “That’s none of your f**kin’ business, you—” But I stopped myself mid-sentence and shut the hell up. As I tipped my head back to look up at the cloudless night sky, I questioned what the point was in keeping it from her. She’d already figured this shit out, seen Axel in action. She knew she couldn’t talk—for her own protection—so why the f**k should I bother lying to her?
When I calmed down my temper, I unclenched my fists and looked to the sofa. Lexi was pressed against the back cushion, all huge terrified eyes looking at me like I was Jack the Ripper about to tear her apart.
You terrify me, Carillo. I’m afraid of you…
A feeling close to a kick in the gut slammed into my solar plexus as her words from earlier today circled my head. This wasn’t who I was anymore.
This wasn’t who I wanted to be no more.
I moved to the opposite end of the couch and, all the while, Lexi monitored my actions like I would pounce on her or beat her to submission any second.
Sighing, I angled my head in her direction, but I couldn’t face her. I was a rat bastard, and I couldn’t face seeing the disdain in her eyes.
“I shouldn’t have done that,” I said shortly.
I noted her quick inhale of breath. Squeezing my eyes shut, picturing Mamma’s pain-filled face, I wanted to tell her why I was acting like this… but more importantly, why I needed her to keep her mouth shut.
“I just… I just gotta protect my family, and only you have the power to bring us down right now. You’ve seen too much, Lexi. And I really wish you hadn’t—both for you and for me. It ain’t something I want for either of us… but it’s what we got.”
I caught her relaxing some and heard her deep inhale. I still couldn’t look her way.
“Is that why you’re hiding out in here?” she asked tentatively.
I reluctantly nodded my head.
“Are… are you a drug dealer too?”
This time my head did snap in her direction. “Fuck no. I’m not. Haven’t done that shit in years, despite what you’ve no doubt heard. I ain’t a gangbanger no more. Not since I came here to the Tide.”
The last remnants of tension seemed to ebb from her body. “But your brother still is?” she asked nervously.
I nodded slowly. I was glad she hadn’t said brothers. It made me think she hadn’t seen Levi in the quad too. That was good. Real damn good.
“He looks just like you,” she said a minute later and motioned to my dark hair and tattoos, especially the star on my left cheek. “Your brother.” Her head tilted to the side, eyes inquisitive. “Are you twins?”
I met her gaze and reluctantly answered, “Nah, he’s older than me. Just look alike, that’s all.”
“Can I ask why he’s in that life and you’re not? How you got out?” she asked, and her pale face reddened with embarrassment. She knew she was asking a question she shouldn’t.
My pierced right eyebrow rose. “You can ask, but I ain’t gonna give you an answer.”
Her top lip twitched at my response.
The silence that ensued this time didn’t feel so bad. Minutes went by, and I listened attentively for anyone approaching the door. The cops were still at the house. I could hear the deep murmur of voices behind the thick wood of the walls.