“She snuck out the side doors,” Shelly informed apologetically.
Rome shifted, his strong arms attempting to put me down, but I gripped onto him tighter. I felt strangely numb and wanted Romeo next to me, holding me. “Please… don’t leave me…” I whispered, my heart faltering at his beautiful dark eyes haemorrhaging tears.
Once Romeo had secured me back into his embrace, I gradually gave up, the pain lessening, dulling, as though my body was telling me that our little angel was saying a final, reluctant good-bye.
“Baby, I’m so sorry… our angel… our angel…”
Romeo’s handsomely torn face was the last thing I saw as my eyes lost vision and I gave in to the darkness.
24
At first all I heard was a perfectly timed beeping. Beep—pause—beep—pause—beep.
My throat was bone dry and each swallow felt like dry wood splinters scratching along the raw flesh. I shifted my aching legs slightly, flinching as my stomach cramped.
I cracked open my eyes and was met with a bright white ceiling and long fluorescent lights. A TV was playing quietly in the corner and plastic chairs of all colours surrounded my bed.
I lifted my arm to find it attached to an IV drip. Something warm held my other hand. I rolled my throbbing head to the right and there he was, my Romeo, sleeping, both of his hands clutched in mine. He was sitting awkwardly in a red plastic chair, his head laid on the edge of my mattress facing me. His mouth was open a touch as he snored lightly, a strand of his long, sandy hair lifting and falling with every breath.
He was beautiful.
As I stared at my boyfriend, I tried to remember why I was here. Fractured black-and-white images teased me as they flitted randomly across my mind—a library, pain, shouting, blood… Romeo’s mother… our baby…
My hand fell to my stomach as cold trepidation filtered into every cell. I tried to move and felt a tightening in my hand. My head snapped to the source, and I found Romeo watching me, eyes puffy, swollen, the whites bloodshot red and his chocolate gaze burdened with sadness.
I literally felt paralysed.
“Romeo? Did… Did…?” I couldn’t say the words out loud. To say them might make it true and I didn’t want to believe what I knew to be the case.
Romeo’s jaw worked back and forth and fresh tears spilled over his long, inky lashes, racing down his unshaven cheeks to land like boulders on the white cotton sheet. I watched as he forced a swallow and nodded his head slowly, watching me intently, gripping my hand.
I curled towards him, pulling our clenched hands to my chest and released the pent-up agony burning inside me. Loud sobs swept through me and Romeo covered my body with his as if he could physically shield me from my desperate torture.
We’d lost our baby.
I wasn’t going to be a mother.
“I’m so sorry… It’s all my fault.”
I turned my head, sniffing and wiping away the wetness. “W-why are you blaming yourself? You did nothing wrong.”
Romeo shook his head over and over.
I shuffled back and weakly pulled on his hand to encourage him to lie beside me. As quickly as possible, Romeo climbed onto the slim mattress and his head joined mine on the thin white pillow, our hands clutched as though in communion, faithfully holding on to our love like a rosary.
Romeo lifted our hands to his lips, kissing and brushing them against his mouth. “I killed our baby, Mol. I didn’t protect you. I let you down…”
My throat was so thick with emotion that I almost couldn’t speak. Romeo, the always stern and aggressive football star, was crumbling.
“There was nothing you could’ve done.”
He squeezed his eyes shut. “I never should’ve left you alone for even a second. I knew my parents were up to somethin’. We should never have gone. I should’ve let you stay at home, where you both would’ve been safe. Now…” His head fell to our hands and tears fell as in confession.
I let him get it all out and when he’d calmed, I said sadly, “Romeo, my heart is broken. Just when I think I can’t be hurt any more, I get a dagger plunged straight into my heart. What did we do so wrong to have everything ripped away from us? I seem to lose everyone I love: my mother, father, Grandma, and now our baby. I can’t take any more pain. It’s too much for me to cope with… I just can’t do it anymore.”
Shaking, Romeo cradled me to his chest. “I don’t know why your family was taken, baby, and I know you’re crushed. But my mother was to blame for this. Shelly told Ally everythin’—the note, the accusations. I’m f**kin’ through with them. They’re poison to you and me, Mol, poison. You’re all I have left… Don’t run from us. Just… don’t run.”
All I felt was numbness, my body blocking out the hurt, switching back to the auto-protection mode that Romeo had broken through all those months ago. He scattered desperate kisses and soft touches all over my face.
“What happened to me? I don’t remember much.”
Romeo played with the hospital tag on my wrist, reliving the trauma of the previous night. “The paramedics arrived and brought you here. I came with you. Our friends are still downstairs; they never left. You’ve been in about twenty-four hours now. The impact of the table caused internal bleeding. You needed surgery.”
I focused on the ceiling, counting the small white tiles with detached fascination. “Can I still have children?”
Romeo smoothed hair from my forehead, holding tightly to my limp body in his arms. “Yeah, it was the first thing I asked, baby. I-I didn’t know if you’d want to get pregnant right away? If we should try again when you’re better? I just… just want you to be happy, whatever you want.”
I stiffened and he clutched me tighter. “I’m sorry, Mol. I shouldn’t have said anythin’ yet. It’s too soon, too raw. Forgive me. Just forgive me for everythin’. I love you so much, and our angel just made us so happy… made us a family… I… I’m afraid I’ll lose you too. It’s all I’ve been thinkin’ ‘bout while you’ve been asleep.”
I tried to relax as I breathed in Romeo’s unique mint and soap scent. I couldn’t say anything. I knew he needed my assurance, my promise to stay, that everything would be okay, but I couldn’t. I didn’t want to think. I didn’t want to be here, childless, in a hospital bed, with my boyfriend shattered to pieces.