“That mean we ‘vicariously’ get gonorrhea through your whore ass too?” AK said.
Viking put his hand on his chest. “In all my conquests I have yet to contract any STDs, spank you very much, motherfucker.”
AK looked at Vike. “Bullshit. I remember the chlamydia epidemics of 2010, 2012, and 2014.”
Viking shrugged. “Well, yeah, but what’s a little clam between friends? I’m clean as a fucking whistle now.”
AK shook his head and took his seat. As I sat down, I looked at Ash, who was leaning against the wall. He had a smoke in his hand and was chewing on his lip ring. He hadn’t come home last night. Maddie was up all night, worrying. I’d tried to call him, but he hadn’t answered. My chest made a strange ache. I rubbed my hand over my sternum. I didn’t know how to fucking speak to the kid. Maddie said he was in pain over Slash dying. Said he needed help. I didn’t know what the hell kind of help I could give. He didn’t even talk much anymore. Stayed with Smiler a lot, at his place.
I rubbed my chest harder. The fucking ache was bad.
The door to church opened, and Tank, Tanner, and Bull came through. Smiler was next, beard and hair longer than usual. His eyes were fucking red. Zane brought through drinks, and then moved to where Ash was standing, where they spoke too quiet for me to hear.
Rudge sat next to Viking. “Vike, you tell them about the slut—”
“We’ve heard,” AK said. “Don’t need your version too.”
“But did he tell you about fisting our balls—”
“He did. Still trying like fuck to scrape that visual from my brain.”
Rudge bit his bottom lip. “Fuck. I’m hard again now just thinking of that spectacular blowjob session.”
Styx came through the door and nudged his chin in our direction to get AK’s attention. AK moved next to the prez, and Styx signed, “Lilah’s had her kids this morning. Ky’s at the hospital.” AK spoke Styx’s words out loud for those who didn’t understand sign.
Styx looked to the door. Mae was there, looking at me. “Flame? Maddie needs to speak to you.”
I jumped from my seat and went outside to the hallway. Maddie stood against the wall with Bella. She smiled when she saw me. I took her hand. Something was wrong. Why was she here? Bitches didn’t come to church.
Lately, she’d been feeling sick. I didn’t like when Maddie was sick. It didn’t happen much. I couldn’t lose her. I couldn’t stand her being in bed, not feeling great. She needed to always be okay. She needed to never leave my side.
“You okay?” I tried to search her face. I couldn’t read people well, some not at all. But I could read Maddie the most. I knew everything about her. I made sure I did. Right now, her skin looked pale. “You’re still sick. You need to go to bed. I’ll take you home. Let’s go.”
Maddie pressed her hand on my cheek to stop me. My racing heart immediately slowed. Her touch always did that to me. I’d gone from not being able to be touched at all to needing my bitch to touch me, hold me, never fucking let me go. If I didn’t touch Maddie every time I saw her, I lost my fucking mind. If I didn’t know where she was every moment of every day, I couldn’t fucking focus. And if I went more than a few hours without seeing her, talking to her, the flames came back. I felt them under my skin, starting to burn. They always came back. Only Maddie could keep them away.
“I’m okay, baby,” Maddie said. I snapped my head round at the sound of a baby crying. Bella was holding Charon, rocking him in her arms as she walked up and down the hallway, speaking to him in a soft, sweet voice. I suddenly felt ice cold as I stared at him, cheeks red and tears in his eyes. My throat closed up and I couldn’t fucking breathe. My eyes were locked on Styx’s kid. On him looking up at Bella. Then his hand came out and reached for Bella’s. Every muscle in my body tensed as his little hand wrapped around her finger.
“Flame…” Maddie’s voice sailed into my ear, but I couldn’t get my fucking eyes away from Styx’s kid holding Bella’s finger. I was sweating. I could feel my head getting hot. “Baby.” Maddie moved in front of me, blocking my view. All I could see was her face, her fucking beautiful face and big green eyes. Maddie put her hands on my cheeks and guided me to face her. “Come back to me.” Her green eyes locked on mine. “You are okay. Whatever is wrong, it is okay. You are here with me, in the clubhouse.” The weight on my chest started to lift as I stared into Maddie’s gaze. I followed her breathing, trying to breathe too. “That is it. Breathe with me. Come back to me.” Maddie took hold of my hands. My forehead dropped against hers. Maddie’s hands were so small. But they held mine tightly. I could breathe better when she held me.
“Are you feeling better?” she asked. I nodded against her head, but I didn’t move away. The pain in my chest was still there. So, I stayed with my wife, holding her hands. Maddie’s hand came to my cheek. She pulled her head back and looked into my eyes. She still looked pale.
“You’re tired,” I said. I knew now when she was tired. Her eyes were duller and her shoulders were lower. “You should be in bed. You’re still sick.”
Maddie smiled. “I am feeling much better, baby. I promise. I am going to the hospital to see Lilah and the twins.” Maddie smiled so fucking wide and beautiful it punched me in the gut, taking away the last of the chest pain that had grabbed hold of me. “Our niece and nephew, are healthy and here safely, Flame.” She squeezed my hand tightly. “I cannot wait to meet them.”
Mae came toward us with Styx. His mouth was at her ear and his arm was around her neck. Zane followed behind them. “Zane will take them to the hospital. Told him he has to check in and turn back if there’s any sign of trouble,” Styx signed.
Trouble. Something was happening out there. Some fucker had started messing with us. Leaving shit at our gates. Goats’ heads. Some fucked up symbols written in blood on the road to our clubhouse. No one had attacked. Tanner couldn’t trace shit so far. But some cunts were watching us. I wanted to lock Maddie away in our cabin and never come out. If I ever found out who was trying to come at us, I’d fucking kill them, hack up their bodies so bad no fucker would ever recognize them.
“Flame?” Maddie’s voice pulled me from my head. My fucking head that was filled with death and blood and the need to kill whoever was skulking at our motherfucking door. AK told me it could just be low-level gun dealers trying to mess with us. I didn’t know. “Flame?” Maddie pressed a kiss to my cheek. The feeling of water running through my veins spread over my body. She was my fucking holy water, taking away the sin that festered in my flesh. “Everything is okay.” Maddie’s fingers ran over my forehead. “Calm your busy mind. All is well.”
It was well. Maddie said so.
I pulled her against me. My arms wrapped around her and she held me back.
“Come here, Charon,” Mae said as she passed by us and went to Bella and her son. My stomach turned and stretched again as Mae took him from her sister and kissed his cheek. Charon made a cooing noise when Mae held him, and my eyes squeezed shut. I saw the cellar my poppa kept me in for years. Felt the rough dirt at my back… Eleven… Eleven breaths… he didn’t breathe a twelfth time…
“I am going to the hospital.” My eyes opened. I was holding Maddie. Her arms were around me. I wasn’t in the cellar. She ran her hands up my arms. Her touch kept the flames away. Only she could keep them away. I needed her to keep them away now. “I will be there a while.”
“I’ll come get you after church.”
Maddie nodded. I felt her cheeks move against my chest. That told me she was smiling. I liked it best when she smiled. It was when she looked the most beautiful. “Good.” She moved back and let her fingers drop to my hands. She held my fingers tightly with hers. “You can meet the twins too.” My stomach dropped. I didn’t need to meet them. I wasn’t good with babies. I… Eleven… he never made it to twelve…
“You will be fine, baby.” Maddie cupped my cheeks with her hand. “Come back to me. Look at me.” I did, and all
I saw was her green eyes. She lifted onto her toes to kiss my mouth. I couldn’t relax. My head was full and my thoughts were racing. Maddie kissed me harder. She kissed me and kissed me until I groaned and kissed her back. Then all I could see and think and feel was Maddie. I pushed my hands into her hair and kissed her. I always wanted to kiss her.
When Maddie pulled back, she said, “I will be okay, Flame. I am with my sisters and Charon. Zane will see us to the hospital safely. When you are finished here, come and find me.”
“I will.” I turned to Zane. “You don’t crash. Don’t fuck around. Get them there okay.”
“I will, Flame.”
Maddie looked over my shoulder. Her body went rigid, and then she let out a quick breath. “Asher.” I turned to see my brother at the door to church. He lifted his chin at Maddie then walked back into church. Maddie sighed. I didn’t know why. But when I studied her face for a clue, all I saw was sadness. Her eyebrows were pulled down and her eyes were watering.
“I had better go.” Maddie kissed me one more time, and then headed down the hallway, her long purple dress flowing around her. Her pale arms were on show, and her long black hair fell to the bottom of her back.
She was beautiful. I didn’t know much, but I fucking knew that.
I followed her and her sisters out of the clubhouse and I watched the truck until it was out of sight. The minute she left, I felt the flames under my skin. They weren’t high or flooding my veins, but they were there, bubbling underneath. I always felt them. They never ever left me. And I’d feel them getting hotter and hotter until church was done, and I was at the hospital with Maddie.