Styx reached into his cut with his free hand and pulled out a photograph. My pulse raced, looking at the white back of the old picture, wondering what was on the front.
Styx took a deep breath, then swallowed several times before he opened his mouth. “I . . .” He paused and closed his eyes. His eyes twitched as struggled for words. The sight pulled at my heart. He was fighting to speak to me.
Me.
I knew he only spoke to a couple of people. And here he was, trying to speak to me.
“I f-f-found th-this . . . in her th-things.” Styx handed the picture to me. I took it and slowly turned it over. My soul shattered when staring back at me was a petite woman with dark hair, smiling widely at the camera . . . with an infant in her arms. Me, I realized. This was my mama and me.
She was holding me so closely. Her cheek pressed to mine. I was smiling too. The love held in this picture exuded from the image so strongly, so surely, no one could doubt how much she adored me. How much it meant to her, being my mama. I couldn’t breathe to speak . . . I couldn’t pull my eyes from her face. She was beautiful, so so beautiful.
“I b-b-believed she was . . . a wh-whore who d-d-didn’t . . . want m-me.” I closed my eyes as Styx’s words hit me. “Sh-she w-wasn’t.” Styx’s voice was gravel. He turned his head away.
I held his hand tighter. Minutes passed by in contemplative silence. I said, “We’ve found each other now, Styx.” Styx turned to face me, his expression unreadable. I smiled, though my lips trembled and my eyes misted with tears. “I have a big brother.”
Styx didn’t say anything. I wasn’t sure if he could. Instead, he pulled me to his chest and wrapped his arms around my shoulders. I didn’t care that my injury hurt me as he tucked me into his side. My brother was embracing me. River Nash, president of the Hades Hangmen . . . my big brother.
We stayed that way on the porch swing for a while, until Styx got to his feet. I was sure it was a lot for him to deal with all at once. It was overwhelming for me. “Can I . . .” I asked. “Can I come and see you sometime? Talk to you more?” I saw Mae with Charon through the window. “Visit Charon?”
Styx rocked on his feet, and put his hands in his pockets. He nodded, then his lip kicked up at the side in a flicker of a smile. “H-he’s y-your n-nephew.”
He was my nephew. I had a nephew.
I laughed with pure happiness. “He is, isn’t he?” Styx nudged his head for me to follow him to his truck. He was silent as he drove me home. When the truck stopped, I hugged the journal and the picture to my chest. I would treasure them my entire life. I went to open the door, but before I did, I leaned across and kissed Styx’s cheek. “Thank you . . . River.”
Styx nodded, and I climbed out of the truck. He pulled away, and I went to Tanner’s room—to my husband. Tanner sat up as I came through the door. He took one look at my face and held out his arms. I immediately climbed on the bed and fell into his embrace.
And I cried. I cried for the life lost and the dream shattered. And Tanner never let go through it all. The man who I knew would never fail me, never stop loving me, always be by my side.
When my tears had been shed, I silently handed him the picture. Tanner’s face filled with sadness. “She loved me,” I whispered. “She loved me very much.”
Tanner rolled to the side, and cupped my face. “You’re real easy to love, princess.” It was then I realized I had it. The life my mother wanted for me. I had a man who loved me. A brother who I was determined to know. A nephew who I would spoil . . . and freedom. Such sweet freedom to live a life of meaning and happiness.
“We need to live for her,” I told Tanner and held the picture to my chest. “We need to be happy for her . . . my mother . . . Lucy Sinclair.”
“We will,” Tanner whispered and kissed me. “We so fucking will.”
I was forever going to hold him to that promise.
I couldn’t wait to start.
Chapter Eighteen
Styx
McKinney, Texas
I kicked open the door of the trailer the fucker lived in. The asshole got up from his chair. I didn’t even hesitate, just pulled out my German blade and stabbed the fucker through the heart. His eyes widened, and he fell to the floor. Blood seeped out around him, and I spat on his ugly fucking face.
I met his eyes, and watched as my uncle, Matthew fucking Sinclair, stared into the eyes of his nephew. The son of the woman he raped and abused, causing her to run away. His motherfucking sister.
I made fucking sure he would remember the face of the man who killed him.
Me.
Styx fucking Nash.
President of the Hades Hangmen.
The son of Lucy Sinclair.
When the rapist was dead, I got back on my bike and went the fuck home. To Mae and Charon. My club and my sister.
And with every mile I tore up road, I thought how life was real fucking good. And I was gonna keep it that way.
Just like my mama wanted.
Epilogue
Tanner
Two weeks later . . .
“There,” Tank said and sat back from the bed. Fucker smiled. “My best—and most challenging—work yet.”
He held out his hand for me to take. He pulled me off the bed. My wounds were mostly healed, still hurt like a motherfucker, but I didn’t give a shit. I was alive. And if I had to lie in this bed and not be able to fuck my woman or do club runs, thought I’d best make it productive.
It was time for the Nazi shit to go.
I walked to the mirror and stared at my body. There was no fascist crap on me anymore. Not one swastika. Not one piece of white-power shit left on my skin. It was now replaced with Hades, demons, and whatever the fuck else Tank wanted to put on me. I didn’t care. “Good?” Tank asked, putting his tattoo gun away. It’d taken two weeks. Two weeks to gradually cover every bit of my skin, from feet to neck.
“It’s good,” I said and shook Tank’s hand.
Beau came through the door and stared at my chest. “Nice work,” he said to Tank, then me. Beau was staying in an apartment just outside the Hangmen compound. I’d tried to convince him to prospect for the Hangmen. We’d see. Beau kept everything so fucking close to his chest. Never knew what he was thinking most of the time. But my brother would be good for this club. Just had to give him time to get to that conclusion himself.
“Get dressed,” Tank said and threw me my shirt, jeans, and cut off the floor.
“Why the fuck am I here?” Beau asked Tank. Tank had ordered Beau to the club today. Told me I had to be dressed for something. Fuck knew what.
Fucker smirked. “You’ll see.”
The door went again, and Adelita walked though. My jaw almost hit the fucking floor when I saw her. She was dressed in a tight red dress, her usual red lipstick on her lips. Her dark hair was down, and she looked fucking perfect.
“Shit,” I said when she came toward me. I held out my hand. Adelita took it, and I pulled her into my chest.
“Tanner, your injuries!” she complained.
“Fuck the injuries.” I pressed my lips to her mouth. I needed her. I needed to fuck her. Needed her under me. Hadn’t had her in such a fucking long time. Bitch wouldn’t allow it. That shit was changing tonight.
“Now, now, Tanner.” Beauty’s voice cut me off from kissing my wife. “I love you both and all, but like hell I wanna see y’all fucking.” Beauty smiled, then said, “Anyway, we got something to show you.”
I frowned, then looked to Adelita. She shrugged. “I don’t know what is happening either. Beauty just made me get ready.”
I held Adelita’s hand and walked out of the hallway, behind Tank and Beauty. Beau stayed behind me. Beauty stopped at the entrance to the yard. She put her hand on the door, then said, “Y’all snuck the fuck off and got married with us. Now, y’all know I love to plan a fucking party.” Adelita looked to me, confused. Beauty opened the door, and I saw all my brothers and their bitches out in the yard. They held up their
drinks when they saw us. Adelita’s eyes widened. “So I threw y’all one!” Beauty said. “Gotta celebrate our very own Romeo and Juliet getting hitched.” Beauty dragged Adelita to a table holding drinks and handed her a champagne—bitch had gone all out.
Hush put a bottle in my hand. His eyes fell to the new tattoos on my arms. “About fucking time.” He smirked. But I nodded in agreement.
It was about fucking time.
Adelita got pulled into the crowd by the bitches. Her smile was so fucking wide I felt it like a stab to my chest. She made a beeline for Mae, who handed her Charon. Seeing my bitch holding her nephew in her arms fucking destroyed me.
I wanted that. I wanted my kid in Adelita’s arms. I wanted her looking at our kid like she was looking at Charon. Like she could hear my thoughts, she turned around and smiled at me.
I was one lucky fucker.
Styx came beside me, and I saw him looking at his sister with his son. Adelita had gone to his house more and more over the past couple of weeks. Styx didn’t say much to her, but I knew the brother loved having her there. Who the fuck wouldn’t? Like I’d told her, she was easy to love.
Styx put his hands to his mouth and whistled. The yard fell silent and the music cut off. Adelita came over to me when Styx met her eyes and nudged his head in our direction. I shrugged when she looked at me for an explanation. I didn’t have one.
Beauty came out of the doors behind us. I smiled when I saw what was in her hands. Beauty stopped before Adelita. “Beauty . . .” Adelita whispered.
“What you waiting for?” Beauty said. “Try it the fuck on, girl.”
Beauty helped Adelita slip on the leather cut. When it was on, Adelita turned to face me, a huge fucking smile on her face and “Property of Tanner” on her fucking back.
“You like?” Adelita said to me, her red lips hooking up into a smile.
Growling, I smashed my mouth to hers and said, “You’re wearing that tonight in bed. That and nothing fucking else.”
Someone cleared their throat. Luis. “It suits you,” he said to Adelita. The guy always spoke in English to Lita whenever he was around me. She had a fucking good friend in him.
“Thank you, Luis,” Adelita said. Her shoulders sagged. “You sure you have to leave tomorrow?” Luis was heading back to Mexico. Back to his church.
“I have people to serve, Lita. But I’ll be back to see you as much as I can.”
Adelita threaded her arm through his. “Then we need to have a goodbye drink.” I watched her as she disappeared into the crowd, my name on her fucking back. The music came back on, and brothers got back to drinking.