Beauty’s arm threaded through mine and we made our way out of the bar, following Maddie and Mae down the hallway. Maddie walked so close to Mae that I knew they must have been related. They had matching long black hair. And Maddie had clearly met Charon before now. She held his little hand all the way to the room the other ladies were in.
I took a deep breath as we approached the door. Beauty must have realized I was nervous. She held me back and let Maddie and Mae enter first. I heard the other women speaking quiet words of excitement.
Beauty moved before me. “Has Tanner told you much about most of the women in that room?”
“Some.”
“Did he tell you that Mae, Li, Grace, Madds, Bella, Phebe, and Saffie were cult girls? Like, a batshit crazy religious cult that abused them for years until the Hangmen brought those assholes down.”
Tanner had told me. And he had told me how his father
was responsible for funding the cult among other shady deals. He hadn’t known. It was another deal made by his father without Tanner being involved.
“I know some.”
Beauty nodded. “Sia is Ky’s sister, and she’s with both Cowboy and Hush.” Tanner had told me that too. “Letti’s one of my best friends, but the bitch is a fucking psycho and likes to kill just as much as the men in that bar.” I swallowed, my nerves worse than ever. “My point , darlin’, is that no one is judging you for having a creep as an old man.” Although her words were meant to offer comfort, they were veritable bullets to my heart. Because she was right. My father . . . he was an abuser. “Girl, pull up those cartel-princess panties and come make some new friends. None of us are fucking normal in this club; think of us as one weird, dysfunctional family.”
Laughing, I let Beauty lead me into the room. The minute she shut the door, all eyes were on us. Beauty didn’t let the silence reign for long. “Y’all remember Adelita?”
Mae smiled at me as she fed Charon on the couch. The other women nodded. Most smiled and waved. But my eyes found the small redhead who had haunted my dreams over the past several days. Her eyes were on me as she leaned into her mother’s side. “Hello,” I said to the group.
Beauty took hold of my hand. “Let me introduce you properly this time.” She took me around the room, and I shook hands with each one. And like Beauty said, each was kind and gracious. When I sat down, it was beside Sia.
“Hey, you’re a crime-world brat too!” She laughed at my stunned reaction. “I’m Ky’s sister, so I know what it’s like to have an old man in this life. Although he didn’t have much to do with me. Asshole.”
“Then yes,” I said, “I’m a crime-world brat too.”
Sia clinked her glass with mine. As the wine filled my stomach, I felt myself relax.
“Tell us, Mae,” Beauty asked, “Did labor hurt like a bitch?”
Mae laughed. “Yes.”
When Lilah made a small terrified sound, Beauty grimaced. “Sorry, Li.” Lilah smiled nervously and rubbed her round stomach.
“But worth it,” Mae said, just as Charon stopped feeding and fell asleep in her arms. A pang of envy pulled in my chest as I watched Mae with her son.
Conversation carried on around me. Saffie got to her feet to go to the attached bathroom. Seeing Phebe go to the kitchenette in the room to make herself a drink, I got up and went over to where she was standing.
“Adelita?” Phebe said.
“I’m so sorry,” I whispered, the devastation in my heart leaking into the tone of my voice. I shook my head, fighting back the embarrassed tears that were threatening to fall. “I didn’t know. I didn’t know what he was doing. If I did, I would have stopped him . . . somehow . . . I would have made . . . she would have been safe, I—”
Phebe’s hand came down to rest on mine. Her touch stopped my words. I stared down at her hand on mine. Her pale skin, and lightly painted nails. When I looked into her eyes, I saw sympathy in her gaze . . . and I realized it was sympathy for me. “My father touched me as a child.” Phebe looked across the room at Lilah. A tragic kind of smile pulled on her lips. “Lilah is my sister. Did you know that?” I nodded. Tanner had told me so. “He hurt her too. Sent her away and into the arms of monsters—devils disguised as saintly men.” Phebe let go of the mug she was holding and took hold of both of my hands. “We are not our fathers, Adelita.” I felt my heart crack. “None of us are our family members, friends, or torturers. We each are our own people who make our own choices.” Phebe put her hand on my cheek. “You are not Alfonso Quintana, in the same way that I am not my father.”
My bottom lip shook. “Thank you . . .” I whispered, my voice growing hoarse. Phebe gave me a small smile.
“Tea?” she asked as the kettle boiled.
“Please.”
I watched Phebe busy herself with the tea, then she said, “She is stronger than people believe.” I tensed, and Phebe looked over her shoulder at me. “My Sapphira. My girl.” I saw nothing but steel and belief in Phebe’s eyes. “She is beyond quiet and, right now, prefers an uneventful life. But she is strong and resilient.” Phebe’s eyes misted, but she kept her voice strong. “One day my girl will shine, and move on from the prison of her past. She is special. I know it in my heart. She is meant to do something special. It could be as simple as loving another with her entire soul. Or something else. But whatever it is, I will be watching and smiling . . . and I will be proud.”
I squeezed Phebe’s hand. “You are a good mother, Phebe.”
Phebe exhaled a breath I didn’t know she was holding. “I just cherish the fact that I am allowed to be her mother now.” My confusion must have shown on my face. “There was a time when I was not allowed to be near her. And they were the darkest days of my life.” My shock was evident. Phebe let go of my hand and poured the tea. She handed me my cup. “I used to avoid thinking of those days, Adelita. I used to feel shame at the things I was made to do, the life I lived.” Phebe’s eyes found Saffie’s as she exited the bathroom immediately looking for her mother. Saffie went and sat next to Lilah, but first offered me a tentative smile. I smiled back, feeling her forgiveness toward me in the depths of my heart. When Phebe faced me again, it was to say, “I have learned to embrace the dark, Adelita. We cannot escape that we all must travel through dire days. How we were raised, the people—good or bad—who gave us life . . . if those days are shrouded in darkness, embrace them and allow them to have a place in your soul. They are a part of who you are as much as the lighter, inspiring days.” Phebe pressed her hand to my shoulder. “We are all part angel and part devil. But once we are aware of that fact, it then falls to us how to live from then on.” I glanced at Saffie. “You now know the man your father is. Everything from here on, regarding where he fits into your life, is your choice.”
Phebe walked to Saffie and handed her the tea. I couldn’t take my eyes off them as Saffie smiled at her mother and Phebe kissed her head. Taking my tea, I took the seat beside Beauty.
“How are you finding life here at the Hangmen?” My eyes found Mae. She was addressing me. All the other women stopped their conversations to listen to my answer.
Gripping the tea in my lap, I said, “I was not allowed to leave Tanner’s room until today.” I paused, worrying I’d said the wrong thing. I wasn’t complaining, simply stating a fact. “I understand why,” I added just in case. Mae didn’t seem offended. It was her husband who had given that order. Understandably so. “But just from what I’ve seen today . . .” I glanced around these women. Felt the level of their bonds. “I think I will love it.”
“It’s different to how you were raised?” Sia asked.
“Very.” I took a deep breath. I felt I should share some about me. No, I needed to. They’d been open with me. “I was sheltered my entire life. I didn’t have a mother, and my father, although he loved and spoiled me, was distant and cold. I had two close friends, family friends.” I paused, the pain of losing Teresa still raw. “One of them was killed by a rival cartel.” I suddenly felt a deep sorrow. “I had Charley from California. But her visits were not frequent.” I shrugged. “I guess I was . . . lonely. Was getting forced into a marriage with a man I did not love, while my soulmate was a rival and completely unacceptable to my father.” I laughed at the absurdity of our situation. “And Tanner would have been killed by his own people for falling for a Mexican—a woman they believed was below them in every way.”
“There was always a sadness in Tanner.” Lilah, Ky’s wife said. She hadn’t said much to me until now. Her hands lay on her round stomach. “I met him when I was rescued from the cult we used to belong to.” She gestured to her sisters and Saffie. “It was Tanner who got Ky the information to help me. He betrayed his own people, risked his life, to save mine.” My heart expanded in my chest. I knew he was a good man, but hearing how he’d helped Lilah made me so full of love for him I could barely contain it. “He risked his life to help me . . . for you, Adelita.
It was his entry fee into this club. To being in the Hangmen. A club that could help him finally get to you.”
“I see that now,” I whispered, barely able to talk.
“The guy’s different now, since you’ve been here,” Beauty said. “He was with us a lot. Tank’s best friend and all. Yet since you’ve been back in his life, he’s alive. I’m not sure I ever saw his eyes show life until I watched him looking at you.”
“Thank you.” I quickly wiped away a tear that fell. “He’s had a hard life. People don’t think or know that. They see where he came from, what he used to do—the bad and despicable things. But they don’t see why he did that or how he was groomed into it from a child and forced into that way of life. People just see anger and those awful Nazi tattoos. They hear his name and write him off as evil and unworthy of love. But he’s not. He’s worth all the stars in the sky.”
“He is worth you.” I lifted my lowered head to see Maddie looking at me. The same Maddie who had walked into the bar hand in hand with Flame. A man I could not read at all. Maddie lifted her chin, almost in defiance. “He is down, but not broken. And it is you—only you—who can lift him. Raise him to the level of worth he should understand he must reside in. It is you, Adelita. You are the one for Tanner, and he is the one for you. You are one another’s light in the dark.”
I didn’t know what to say to that . . . to those words. The words that directly spoke to my soul.
“Do you think your father will come for the club?” Letti, Beauty’s best friend, asked. Her body was tense and her voice was serious.
I felt the tension rise. “Yes,” I replied honestly. “If my father knows I am here. If it was confirmed the Hangmen had taken me, he would come.” I glanced at Saffie and felt a wave of gutting anger settle in my stomach. “But I will not let him hurt anyone.” I was determined and fueled by that promise. “With everything I am, I will not let him destroy any of you to get to me.” Saffie’s shoulders relaxed, and she gave me a proud kind of smile. It only made me more determined. I didn’t know how I would keep him away, but I would.