And she was fucking going nowhere.
I’d die before I let anyone take her from my arms.
Chapter Nine
Styx
One week later . . .
“We ain’t got any intel yet,” Shadow said. “They’ve gone quiet, which in my experience is never good.”
I lifted my hands and signed, “You hear anything—anything at all from the Quintanas—and you let us know straight away.” Ky spoke for me.
Chavez nodded his head. “Will do.” I stared at Chavez and couldn’t get my mother’s journals from my head. Mae didn’t know, but when she went to bed at night, I came downstairs, poured myself a fucking strong whiskey, and read. Mae had been reading them too. And I knew when she’d reached something she thought was important. From the minute I came in at night, she looked at me differently or came over to me and kissed me, wrapping her arms around me, choking me to fuck. It was always when my mother had mentioned me. About how she’d run to Sanchez, run away from me and my old man. Fucked off out my life.
I didn’t mean to fall for him. I went to him for help. To get River away from the club. But when I saw Raul Sanchez, everything changed. He didn’t treat me like a whore. He didn’t belittle me like Shade did every single day. He didn’t make me feel unwanted—in fact it was quite the opposite.
I stood in his office, asking for help. I was so nervous. Sanchez knew who I was. He asked me if I was Reaper’s old lady. I told him the truth. That I had never been more than a whore for him to play around with, toy with like a pet. I told Sanchez he had my boy. My son. I told him I wanted out of the club. And I wanted my son out too. I wanted him away from Reaper and the club, period.
Sanchez stared at me for a while. I panicked, wondering if I had done the wrong thing. If I had just signed my own death warrant. But then Raul smiled and told me he would help me. I didn’t know if that was true. But I was desperate, and I had nowhere else to turn. Reaper had the police and local government on his payroll. My only choice had been his number-one enemy. Sanchez was going to help me save River. I was going to save my little boy . . .
“Styx?” Ky’s voice pulled me from my thoughts. I rubbed my hand down my face. I had to get my fucking self together. A wave of anger crashed through me. I should never have started reading those fucking journals. I never thought anything of my mother. Nothing, but the fact she’d been a slut who’d cut and run. Now, all I fucking did was think about her. About how she was raped over and over by her fucktard of a brother. About how shitty my old man had treated her. And how she’d run away to save me. Not ran because she wanted to fuck Sanchez, like my old man had told me over and over again. You’re about as fucking good to me as your piece-of-shit whore mama was, boy. Fucking retarded pussy.
She’d wanted me away from him. From this club. A crowbar hit my stomach when I thought about it all. Because she’d only been a kid. A teen when she had me. Still too fucking young when she’d left and got in with Sanchez.
“Styx!” Ky’s elbow digging into my ribs made me snap my head his way and grab his wrist. He rolled his eyes as I threw his arm away. “What the fuck is up with you?” I looked across the table to see Chavez and Shadow were gone. When the hell did they fucking leave? “They left,” Ky said, reading my mind. He stared at me weird. “You sleeping?”
“Fuck off.”
Ky smiled. He got to his feet. “I gotta go. Li has an appointment at the hospital.” When I didn’t move, he asked, “You coming?”
I made to get to my feet, then looked round the empty diner we’d eaten at and shook my head. “You go.”
Ky frowned. This time there was no fucking smile on his face. “What’s going on? What aren’t you telling me?”
“N-nothing.”
“It ain’t safe for you to ride back alone.”
I pointed at the place Shadow had been sitting. “You h-heard him, th-there’s no s-sign of an attack y-yet. Or even th-that Quintana kn-knows we have h-her.”
“Yeah, and he also said them going quiet ain’t good.”
“G-go.”
Ky hesitated, but then his cell started going off in his jeans. “Fuck!” He pulled it out and looked at the screen. “It’s Li. I gotta go. Bitch’ll have my balls if I’m late.” I flicked my hand, telling him to get the fuck on then. Ky held the cell to his ear and hightailed it from the diner. “I’m on my way, sweetcheeks.”
I watched my VP pull out on his Harley, before I got a refill of coffee. I pulled out the journal from the inner pocket of my cut. No one would fuck with me here. The owners here knew I didn’t speak for shit. The place was a ghost town. I had to get back to the club. But I needed a fucking minute.
Opening the journal, I carried on reading.
He got me a house. Raul took me to the place he bought us. It’s away on its own. Far from the club and away from any threats. When I stepped through the door, I smiled. Because I’ve never had a real home before. I had a room at the Hangmen and grew up in a trailer. This is a real home built of wood.
And there’s a room for River too. River and whoever sits in my stomach. I’m pregnant to Raul, and I am so so happy. Raul already has a kid, but he’s left his old lady and promises we’ll make our family work somehow. I’ll get River back, and he’ll have a brother or sister.
We’ll be a family.
And for once, I will be happy.
My heart was threatening to break out of my motherfucking chest with how fast it was pounding. She had another kid? Or at least was pregnant with one?
What the fuck?
I couldn’t fucking sit here anymore. I needed my bike and I needed the road. Fuck the war and the threats—I needed to fucking ride.
Throwing a twenty on the table, I got out of the diner and slid on my Harley. The minute the engine started, I tore up gravel and fucking hit the road. I stuck to the back country roads. All the time my head fucking pounded. My mama had another kid? I had a brother or sister I didn’t know about? And had my old man known? Had he known she’d had a kid with Sanchez when he killed her? Did Chavez know?
FUCK!
I let the wind slap my face as I pushed my bike faster, tearing up the asphalt. Day turned to night as I kept riding, wind fucking lashing my face. I rode so long my legs went dead. But I rode on. I rode until I didn’t want to smash my fist through a fucking wall at what I’d just read. I needed to keep my shit together. Mae would see through me straight away if I turned up raging. I wasn’t telling her I’d been reading the journals. I didn’t want anyone to know I’d been a pussy for giving a shit about the woman who left me. Or maybe didn’t mean to . . . I didn’t fucking know. My head was too full—the war, the threats, Mae being pregnant, and now thi
s.
My mama had been pregnant with another fucking kid.
Needing to get back to the compound, to Mae, I turned back and took the two-hour ride back home. The minute I was through the gate, opened by Ash and Slash, AK came tearing from the clubhouse. I was braced, ready to fucking jump into action.
“Where the fuck you been?” AK asked. Vike, Rudge ,and Bull came bursting out behind. My body tensed, waiting for someone to tell me what was wrong. “You weren’t answering your cell.” I reached into my pocket and saw it was dead. I held it up so AK could see. Brother didn’t fuck around making me wait. “It’s Mae. She’s in the hospital. She went into labor while you were out. Everyone’s been trying to find you.”
My stomach fucking fell.
Throwing my cell back in my cut, I started my bike and tore the fuck out of the compound. My hands were fucking iron tight on the handles as I burned ground all the way to the hospital. I couldn’t get Mae out of my head. She was fucking alone because I couldn’t get my head out of my ass. I pulled into the hospital and smashed through the entrance. My eyes tracked all over the signage for a clue to where my woman fucking was.
The mood I was in, I was gonna fucking rip someone apart if I didn’t find out where the fuck I had to go.
“Styx!” I turned to see Ky rounding the corner of a hallway. “She’s this way.” I frowned, wondering why he was here, then remembered he’d been here with Lilah this morning. As if reading my mind, he said, “We were just leaving when Beauty came in with Mae.” He looked at me as he punched the button for the elevator. I didn’t wanna get in the fucking elevator; I wanted to run up the stairs and get to Mae quicker. “Where the fuck you been? I couldn’t get you. I had to send brothers out looking for you from here while Li stayed with Mae and Beauty. Li’s been on my ass to find you. Thanks, fucker. I really fucking enjoyed that.”