Here, I got no sleep.
Here, I didn’t fit in.
I was fucking done.
Launching into a steady jog, I ran all the way to the compound, knowing that was where I would find my brother. I burst through the door off the yard and beelined toward the clubhouse bar. You ever needed a Hangman? If they weren’t on a run or at church, they were slamming back shots or fucking pussy in the clubhouse.
I opened the door of the bar to see all the brothers sitting around. Their eyes fell on me. “Sorry, darlin’,” Bull said. “No bitches in here unless it’s during the permitted times.”
I swung to face what looked like three hundred pounds of Samoan and cocked my head. “Yeah? Well, lucky for you, big boy, I ain’t no fucking bitch.” I walked close to his folded arms. “Unless you piss me off. In which case I can be the baddest bitch you ever saw.”
Bull’s surprised eyebrows pulled down. He was about to say something when I heard my brother’s usual curt voice shout, “Sia!”
He sat by the fire with Styx. Like I’d told them before, I wasn’t one of their women. I wouldn’t take even one ounce of their shit, even if they sat at the top of the room like dark kings on their fucked-up thrones.
“Get the fuck out, Sia,” Ky said, flicking his hand dismissively. It made me see red, the residue of the anxiety that had sprung up on me like a ghost in the night causing me snap.
I walked to my brother, who had started to take a swig of his beer, and slapped the fucker right upside the head.
You could have heard a pin drop in the bar as it grew graveyard quiet.
Ky turned his head slowly, blue eyes glaring at me. His gaze only grew more furious when Viking piped up from two tables over, “Holy fuck. I think I’m in love. Bitch can slap me anytime she fucking wants!”
I was breathless, panting hard. How dare they fucking treat me this way? Fucking bikers. Motherfucking Hangmen! Ninety-nine percent of the assholes needed their hairy asses kicked. Preferably by some mountain of a woman who would hand their sexist leather-clad asses to them on a plate.
“Get the fuck back to the cabin, Sia. Now. Back to the other bitches, and I’ll speak to you when I’m done with club business.”
I choked on a disbelieving laugh. “Club business? What club business? Drinking at two in the afternoon? Real fucking important stuff happening down here at Hangmen HQ.”
Red burst onto Ky’s cheeks. He slowly rose from his chair, until he was only an inch from my face. “I won’t ask you again. Get the fuck out, obey club rules, and I’ll speak to you later.”
I smirked and stepped closer. “I ain’t gonna be around later, oh holy sacred vice-president master, sir.” Ky’s cheek twitched in anger. “I’m going back home. I’m done here. I want my ranch and my horses.” I gestured around the bar. “I’m not a fucking Hangmen whore or bitch or whatever the fuck other derogatory name you wanna throw my way. I’m a woman. A rancher. And I am out.”
I turned to leave, but Ky took hold of my arm. He shook his head. “You ain’t going anywhere.”
“I am, Ky. And you can’t stop me. I make my own money. I’ve got my own life, and this place doesn’t have any part in it.” I stepped closer, and this time I included Styx’s furious face in my audience. “The old brothers like y’all made sure of that as I grew up. I wasn’t welcome here. When I wanted to come to family days and cookouts, be part of the club, I was told to shut the fuck up and stay hidden like the ‘mistake’ I was. So I sure as fuck don’t belong here now. I’m going home.”
I was walking away when Ky said, “He could be here any day, and you just wanna put yourself in that kind of danger?”
Garcia’s face flashed into my mind, bringing my feet to a halt. I closed my eyes, but just before I did I caught sight of Hush and Cowboy sitting directly opposite me. Yet my lids closed, and suddenly I was there . . .
The stifling Mexican sun beat down on me as I heard the trickle of a water fountain near where I woke. I heard maids rushing around, their fast Spanish too quick for me to understand. And then I felt his finger trace the length of my spine . . . his toned, tall body moving to lie above me . . .
I gasped. A hand took my elbow. I flinched and backed away, turning when whoever held me tightened their grip. When I lifted my eyes, I saw my brother’s blue eyes fade from anger to sorrow . . . then protectiveness. “Sia,” he said, so only he and I could hear. “You’re okay. It’s just me.”
I fought against the building anxiety to breathe. I focused on my brother being close. Even though he was an asshat, he did make me feel safe. Always had, always would.
When I spoke, my voice sounded fractured and desperate. “I need to go, Ky.” I knew the men in the bar must have heard me, but I was too distraught to be quiet. And frankly, I gave zero fucks about that fact. But I hated myself when I felt tears building in my eyes. I never ever wanted these men to view me as weak.
“It’s dangerous,” Ky warned.
“It’s dangerous my being here too.” I swallowed the lump that had formed in my throat. “If he’s set his eyes on me again, Ky, nothing will stop him.” A chill ran down my spine as I admitted what I knew to be the truth. “The reach he has through the Quintana cartel is too far and too strong. I . . .” I straightened my shoulders. “We always knew this day might come. He was too obsessed with me. His pride would have been too wounded when you came and got me. We made him look foolish in front of his men.”
Ky inched me closer. “Don’t underestimate the Hangmen’s reach, sis. The Quintana cartel is powerful. But so are we.”
“I have to go, Ky,” I urged, imploring him with my eyes to understand. He shook his head like he wanted to argue. But in a flash of what looked like understanding, he stopped and said, “Then you won’t be going alone.”
I wrinkled my brow. “You’ll be needed here, won’t you?”
“Not me.” He looked around the bar. By the eyes looking back at us, I knew they’d all heard the last part of the conversation.
Ky was still searching though his men when Viking stood and said, “VP, I would very much like to put myself forward—”
“NO!” Ky and I shouted at the same time.
Viking shook his head and took his seat, arms crossed over his bulging chest. Ky met AK’s eyes. “AK, you’ll go with her.”
“He has a lady at home, Ky. You can’t do that.”
“She can go too. Her daughter as well.”
AK coughed. “Saffie . . . she wouldn’t cope too well in a new place.”
“I could go with them. Help protect everyone,” a voice said from the bar. Flame’s little brother, Ash. AK narrowed his eyes on the kid, but I shook my head. It wasn’t right to uproot them from their lives. And I didn’t want all those people I barely knew with me.
“I won’t put kids in danger, Ky.” Ky seemed to agree, and he turned his gaze to Smiler. But before he could volunteer another of his men, who would no doubt do as they were told, I scanned the bar myself. It wasn’t intentional, but my eyes drifted back to the two men who had only ever made me feel safe here at the club. A flicker of a smile crossed the mouth of the one who was quickly becoming my favorite blond Cajun. But when I looked at the man with deep caramel skin and the most piercing bright-blue eyes, there was no such reception. A tight mouth and a cold stare were aimed my way. I was surprised by the pain his look caused my heart.
But I didn’t know the rest like I knew them. And before I thought too much on the idea, I said, “Hush and Cowboy.” Ky snapped his head back to me. “If you’re gonna make a brother or two come and protect me until it’s safe, I choose Hush and Cowboy.”
As my voice carried through the bar, Hush and Cowboy spoke at the same time.
“Bon.”
“No.”
Cowboy didn’t look at Hush. Instead he fumed on the spot, eyes tight and his skin flushing red. Hush got to his feet and addressed Ky. “Choose someone else.”
Cowboy shook his head. “We’ll go; whatever you want, VP.” H
ush’s fists clenched at his sides and he shook his head violently.
My heart tore a little more at Hush’s public rejection.