A comfortable silence reigned, wrapping around us like a cocoon. Like I had said to Hush in Louisiana, within these walls, there was no shit talk from anyone about how we loved. No judgment or censure.
This world was ours. Our very own bit of heaven, here on earth.
Breaths evened out, but I knew none of us were asleep. Hush and Cowboy were still stroking my body. They never left me alone, one or both always holding me or kissing me or running their fingers along my skin. I didn’t know such a love could exist. And I had no idea what I’d done to deserve it, but I would never take it for granted. We’d all walked a dark road to get to this place of light.
I smiled, body heat surrounding me. I closed my eyes, content to just be . . . then Hush, with his fingers in my hair, said, “The first whore I ever screwed was at the Hangmen, when we were prospects in New Orleans.” I opened my eyes and took a deep breath. Hush was opening up again. He’d done it frequently over the past few days. Every time he did, I felt another weight lift from his shoulders. When he’d exorcised whatever clawed to be free from his soul, more smiles would grace his face. More laughs would spill from his lips.
And more of my heartbeats would skip.
“I . . . I couldn’t do it.” He let out a self-deprecating laugh. “I was fucking racked with worry about my seizures. Panicked that I might have one mid-fuck and then the prez would find out and kick me the fuck out.”
I kissed his hot skin. “Go on.”
Hush sighed. “Cowboy found out, of course. He knew something was wrong and wouldn’t fucking shut up until I cracked and told him.” He laughed, this time for real. “And just like the Cowboy we all know and love, he picked a slut who’d been eye-fucking him all night and dragged me into the room with him. The whore was down for it.” He shook his head. “I was fucking dumbstruck. But . . .” He sighed. “I did it. Managed it. And at the time, to my eighteen-year-old self, it was like a personal victory.” I held him tighter, reaching down to take Cowboy’s hand in mine. I brought it to my mouth and thanked him with a kiss.
“I was never able to do it again after that. It was my cross to bear. But again, Cowboy knew it, and never let me fly solo.”
Cowboy shrugged against my back. “The more the merrier,” he quipped. But I knew it really was because he was a good man. And no one would ever find a greater friend than him.
Selfless. Cowboy was the most loyal person I’d ever met.
“I’m glad.” I nestled closer. “Because it brought you both to me. And I would never have been able to choose between you.”
Cowboy moved over me and kissed my cheek. “You’ll never have to.”
I looked up at Hush. His eyes shone with happiness. “You never will.”
I wasn’t sure what the future held for us, but as I held two hands in mine, hands that were scarred, bruised, yet filled with so much light, I knew it was going to be our kind of perfect.
Because it would be lived . . . together.
Chapter Sixteen
Hush
“Get on, cher.”
I waited on my bike as Sia climbed on behind Cowboy. I couldn’t wait to have her on the back of my bike, but until my epilepsy was under control, I didn’t wanna risk it. I even went to see Rider. Spoke to the ex-brother. He was training to become a real doctor now at UT, not just one his cult made him into. He pointed me in the right direction. Now I was on new meds I already felt better. But until I knew I had a real grip on my epilepsy, I wasn’t gonna have Sia with me.
Soon enough. She’d ride with me soon enough.
As if guessing what was going through my mind, she reached out her hand. I took it, and she gave mine a squeeze.
“Ready to hear what the verdict is?” Cowboy asked.
I inhaled deep, and then nodded my head. Ky had called yesterday. They were holding church today, voting if we got to stay with the club or not. I wasn’t quite sure what the fuck I’d do if they voted us out. But as I let my gaze find Sia and Cowboy, my brother making her laugh at something he’d said, I knew I’d somehow be okay.
“Ready?” I asked. Cowboy nodded, and we rolled out of the apartment complex. I drank in every bit of the passing scenery on the way to Hangmen HQ, just in case the verdict came back negative.
I fucking loved Austin. Louisiana would always be where I was from, but my home was now here, in the Lone Star State. Sia had told me over and over, whenever my demons came calling to taunt me about our rela
tionship, that Austin was a fucking liberal hippie haven. No one gave a shit about interracial couples, or in our case, threesomes.
And she was right.
It was fucking home.
Cowboy rode beside me, Sia holding onto his cut. I looked at her leather jacket. I wanted nothing more than to see a cut on her back, “Property of Hush and Cowboy” stitched on the back. My dick got hard just thinking about that. Someone to call my own. Something I thought I’d never get in this life.
We entered the miles and miles of Hangmen land and came to a stop at Lilah’s house. Sia was seeing her sister-in-law while her brother and almost-brother decided our fate. Sia slipped from Cowboy’s saddle and pulled him in for a kiss.
I saw all the old ladies come out of Lilah’s house, waiting for Sia. It would be the first time anyone from the club had seen us all together. Sia broke from Cowboy and came to me. She smiled, fucking destroying my heart. She took my hand and then pressed her lips to mine. I put my hand on the back of her head and kept her on my mouth.
Sia sighed and reluctantly pulled away. “I love you,” she whispered. “Now, go see my brother.”
Sia walked into the house. Lilah waved. I gave her a wave back, and then looked at Cowboy. “You ready?”
Cowboy winked. “Always.”
We rode up to the clubhouse. The place was a ghost town. Ky had told us to go straight to church. We passed through the empty bar and onward to meet our fate. I knocked on the door.
“Get the fuck in!” Ky’s familiar voice shouted.
Cowboy’s hand came down on my shoulder. I took a deep breath and walked in the door. I frowned when I only saw Ky and Styx, sitting in their usual seats. “Sit the fuck down,” Ky ordered and pointed to our places at the table.
We sat down. Cowboy threw a side-glance my way. I was just as confused. Ky glared at us, Styx not looking much better. Eventually, Ky leaned forward, arms on the table, and said, “It ain’t against club rules to fuck another brother’s sister,” he snarled. “But it’s fucking bad taste, in my book.” Ky flitted his hard eyes between me and Cowboy. “Bad enough it was one of you fuckers, but the fact that it’s two of you really pisses me the fuck off.” Ky clenched his fists.