I was wondering what the hell was happening between them when Cowboy distracted me by saying, “Help me back to the house, Val.”
“Wait!” I said. “I’ll go get my truck.”
I took off at a jog, passing Clara and giving her a thumbs-up to make sure she had everything under control. She nodded and led Pepper into a stall in the barn. In less than five minutes, I was in my truck and heading back to Cowboy and Hush. Hush sat beside Cowboy, Cowboy’s hand on Hush’s thigh. Hush’s head was lowered, but I could see his eyes were closed. He looked like he was counting; his lips moved slightly as he said something to himself.
Hush’s head snapped up as I got out of the truck. “You got my chariot, cher?” Cowboy asked.
“Sure have, darlin’.” I moved to where he still sat, slouched on the bench. I looked at Hush. “You okay? You don’t look so good.”
“Bon,” he replied and stood to face Cowboy. “Allons.” Hush helped Cowboy to his feet. I moved to his other side. Cowboy managed to put his good arm over my shoulder, and he playfully said through a clenched jaw, “Anything to get you to touch me again, cher.”
I rolled my eyes. “You don’t have to get injured for that, cher,” I teased.
Cowboy smiled. “Good . . . to . . . know.”
Hush’s brow was furrowed. His attention was on the truck. But I knew his frown was a reaction to me and Cowboy. I couldn’t understand why, if what Cowboy had told me was right. If they shared women, then what the hell was so wrong with me?
I was starting to believe that Cowboy was full of shit. That Hush wasn’t just keeping me at arm’s length because he liked me. But that, in fact, he really didn’t.
Which was like a damn hammer blow to the heart.
Hush helped Cowboy into the truck. I thought he would ride back on Poppa’s old Harley, but Hush got in the cab too. As I pulled out of the yard toward my house, Cowboy put a hand on my thigh. When I looked toward him, I saw he had done the same to Hush too. “Well . . .” he managed to push out through his pain. “This is . . . cozy.”
Hush pushed Cowboy’s hand from his thigh. “Not the fuck now, Aub.”
Cowboy turned to me and smiled, not even bothered by Hush’s pissy comment. My chest warmed. I’d never known anyone like Cowboy. Never known anyone so free spirited. Someone who just seemed to want to make everyone happy.
And I’d never known anyone so closed off as Hush. At least to anyone but Cowboy. In fact, with Cowboy, he seemed weirdly dependent.
I stopped at my house. Hush opened the passenger door and helped Cowboy out. Cowboy staggered up the steps. I smoothed my hand over my cell in my pocket, almost calling Ky to send a doctor. But then I didn’t want Ky to know about Cowboy riding Pepper. I didn’t want to give him any excuse to pull Hush and Cowboy from my ranch and replace them with someone else. My heart rolled at the thought of them leaving. It had only been a couple of weeks, but I had gotten used to them being around. Cowboy with his easy flirtations and suggestive winks. And even Hush with his silence and permanent scowl.
They made me feel safe.
To me, that was worth its weight in gold.
Deciding to forget the call, I strode up the steps and entered my house. Cowboy was already lying on the couch. Hush was helping him out of his chaps and denim shirt, leaving him in his jeans and white wife-beater. I gasped on seeing the bruises already beginning to sprout on his arm and shoulder. His wrist was raw from the rope burns. “Cowboy,” I whispered, my eyes watering. “I shouldn’t have let you ride Pepper. I . . . I wasn’t thinking . . .”
“I wanted to, cher.” He grinned, only wincing when Hush placed a bag of ice on his arm. “Gotta be honest, it felt good to ride again.”
Hush made a low sound in his throat. Turning away, he announced, “I’m gonna go get the bike.” Hush left the house, and I couldn’t help it, but I sighed. I was sick and tired of his constant cold shoulder. I had done everything in my power to be nice to him. To talk to him. But he wanted nothing to do with me.
A fact I had to accept . . . even though the thought of it sent a slice of pain spearing through my heart. As if Cowboy could read my thoughts, he said, “He’s just quiet, cher. I promise. It’s nothing more.” He pointed to his arm. “And probably pissed that I’ve done this to myself.” He shrugged. “Been years since I’ve been on a bronc.”
I went to the kitchen and grabbed a couple of pain pills and a glass of water. I handed them to Cowboy. He knocked them back, but then frowned at the water. “You got something stronger than water, cher?” I took a bottle of bourbon and a glass from my cupboard. “Just bring the bottle, darlin’,” he said, shooting me a wide grin.
I laughed. “That grin gets all the ladies to do your bidding, huh?”
He tipped his head to the side. “Don’t know. Is it gonna get you to blow off whatever you had planned tonight and play nurse with me here on this couch?”
“I hadn’t had anything planned, as you well know.” I sighed, shaking my head when he patted the couch beside him.
“Well then, you’ve got no excuse.” I sat down and watched him take a swig of the bourbon. He handed the bottle to me. “Get drunk with me, Sia.”
I took the bottle from him, startled when he shifted and lay flat on the couch, putting his head on my lap. I stared at him, shocked, breathing deeply. There was a man sprawled across my thighs. I closed my eyes, trying to fight back the memory of the last person who had done this to me.
As if he could see the war inside my head, Cowboy asked, “You want me to move, cher?”
My eyes sprang open. My heart friggin’ melted at the sincere look in his eyes and the fact that he had understood I found it hard.
That he had given me a choice.
“No,” I whispered. Cowboy looked up at me. I gave him a shaky smile and moved his Stetson off his head. I placed the hat on the floor and lowered my nervous hand to his forehead. Cowboy closed his eyes and sighed.
“That feels real fucking good, cher.”
My hand faltered when I heard the echo of another voice in my mind. “That feels so good, mi rosa . . .”
My breathing sped up, too lost in the memory of the past. But I was guided from the nightmare when calloused fingers wrapped around mine and squeezed. “You’re safe, cher,” Cowboy’s soft, beautifully accented voice soothed.
I looked down at the man lying next to me. It was a small matter. Just a tiny fucking thing, really, but I never thought I would get to this point. After all that happened in Mexico,
I never thought I’d ever be like this with another man.
Something as simple as a head on my lap felt like the biggest leap I’d ever made.
Feeling brave, I took my free hand and brought it to Cowboy’s hair. “You got hair to die for, darlin’. You know that?”
Cowboy grinned. “It’s what all the bitches tell me.” His face adopted a serious expression. “I’m thinking of becoming a shampoo-commercial model.” He blinked, looking anything but the innocent man he was trying to play. “Think I have what it takes?” I lightly pulled on his hair and shrugged. “Damn, cher.” He waggled his eyebrows. “Keep doing that and I’ll forget my injured wrist and let you pull on something else.”
“Shut up,” I said, pretending to be annoyed. I pushed his head, but the stubborn asshole just placed it back in my lap. I couldn’t help but laugh, the humor breaking the heavy weight my memories had briefly placed on me.
Cowboy’s eyes closed as I raked the blond strands with my fingers. We stayed like that for ages, me still smiling like a fool, until Hush walked in the door. He froze, his eyes zeroing in on us.
My hand stilled, and Cowboy opened his eyes. “I was enjoying that, cher. Don’t stop.” He closed his eyes again, but my eyes remained locked on Hush’s. His cheeks flushed, and I saw his hands tighten into fists at his side.
I released my hand from Cowboy’s hair to move the ice bag back into place. All the time Hush held my stare, like he couldn’t look away from the sight of his best friend and me on the couch. But I didn’t see hatred or jealousy on his face. No, in fact, I saw what looked like longing . . . and my fucking heart tore. Hush stood rooted to the spot. He stared. I stared. And for the first time since he’d come to stay at my ranch, I didn’t see indifference or coldness when he looked at me. But warmth. Such blazing heat that I felt as though I were sitting beside a burning fire.
Heat for me . . . That fire was for me.
“Come sit down,” I found myself whispering, barely breaking the silence that had blanketed the room. Cowboy’s breathing had evened out. I thought he had fallen asleep, but when he moved his legs, creating a space for his best friend, I knew he could hear every word.