Flame’s breathing was erratic, arms unsteady as his head tucked in my nape, then raising his head, his glazed eyes snapped into focus as his tears caught in his beard.
It was like I had seen him for the very first time. This man, my Flame, above me, fixing me back together. A sob came from his mouth and he rasped, “Maddie… my Maddie… mine…”
My heart stilled as I stared up at his disbelieving face. Without restraint, or any falsehood in my heart, I confessed, “I love you…”
Chapter Twenty-Three
Flame
Maddie’s hand was on my face as she spoke those words. And I swallowed, shaking my head.
“No,” I replied, my body freezing with fear.
Maddie’s forehead pulled down, and she whispered, “It is true, Flame. I love you. With all of my heart, I am yours. All that I am, you possess.”
I swallowed, but I couldn’t believe her. I wanted to, but his voice was in my head. No one will ever love you, boy. You’re a fucking retard. No one will ever want you.
My eyes squeezed shut and I rolled off Maddie, groaning when I slipped out of her. I fell to my back and stared at the wooden ceiling.
Flame… I love you…
“No,” I hissed once more as I replayed Maddie’s voice telling me those words. I lifted my arm to cover my eyes, blocking out the world, then I felt Maddie move. I felt her chest press against mine, I felt her firm tits push against my skin. Then her finger was stroking down the length of my arm, and I sighed at how fucking good her touch could make me feel.
Lowering my arm, Maddie’s face was focused on me. Her green eyes were shining, and she whispered, “I do not lie.” Leaning in, she pressed her lips to mine. As soon as our mouths met, the heat in my blood cooled, and I wrapped my fingers in her long hair.
When Maddie broke from the kiss, her finger stroked down my face and she said, “I do not know why you do not believe you are worthy to be loved, but I do love you, so purely and honestly that I can scarcely believe it myself.” Her eyes dipped as her fingertip traced the flame tattoos on my chest. “You have brought me back to life.” She choked on a laugh and said, “You have made my life.”
My heart pounded, my pulse raced, and lifting my hands, I bared my palm and said, “But all I do is hurt people. I make them leave. Nobody can love me. It’s not fucking possible.”
Maddie leaned forward until her face was hovering just above mine, and she asked, “Flame, you must tell me. What has happened in your past to make you think this?”
Her finger stroked along my beard, and she said, “To make you think that your touch is harmful? To make you measure your life in sets of eleven? I want to know you. I want to know everything.”
I tensed as she asked that and I could feel sweat building on my forehead. “Maddie,” I whispered, opening my eyes and shutting them again, trying to not go back there. Maddie’s small hand linked within mine. My eyes opened and focused on our joined hands.
Maddie swallowed and confided, “I was six when Brother Moses first came for me.” Maddie’s breathing hitched and her voice began to quiet. “I was sitting alone in my quarters. Bella, Mae and Lilah had already been taken by their assigned elders, because they were older.” Her eyes looked away, then she continued. “I remember I had been sitting at the window, watching the normal people in the commune go about their daily duties. I remember I had been smiling at a butterfly fluttering around the courtyard outside.” Maddie’s mouth had pulled into a gentle smile, but then it vanished. “I remember hearing someone at the doorway. And when I looked over, an older large man was standing there, staring at me, with his arms over his chest. He was dressed all in black, and I remember his black boots.” Maddie shook her head. “I do not know why I remember those boots. Maybe it was the sound they made on the ground, or how they made him appear so tall and frightening? But I remember feeling so much fear that I was paralyzed. For years I had seen my sisters taken away by the elders, and every time they returned, they struggled to walk. They were quiet. Too quiet.”
Maddie sniffed, but there were no tears in her eyes. Then her hand squeezed in mine. “He told me I was to go with him. But I could not move. So he walked forward, his heavy boots like thunder claps on the ground. And reaching out, he gripped my arm so tightly in his large hand. I remember calling out at the sharp pain, and he smiled at me, his teeth gleaming under his long dark beard. Thinking back, I always see that smile when I close my eyes. Because he liked that I was in pain. He enjoyed causing me pain.”
“Maddie,” I hushed out, but she stared into the distance and I couldn’t stop her. I knew she was lost in the memory, just like I got lost in mine.
“He led me down a long hallway until we reached a room at the end. I watched him open the door, and when it opened I remember not being able to comprehend what I was seeing. There were ropes and chains hanging from the ceilings. There were handcuffs and heavy chains attached to the walls, and in the center of the room was a table. A table with shackles of all sizes to attach to wrists and feet.”
I closed my eyes, unable to get that fucked up scene out of my head. Maddie’s hands began to go cold. “He took me in there, Flame. He led me in by the hand and he locked the door behind us.
“I remember jumping at the sound of the locks snapping, and then he stood before me. I remember he lifted his hand. I remember he lifted his hand and stroked it down my cheeks. He would call me his little beautiful evil girl. Then he leaned forward and removed my headdress. I remember being scared that it was sinful for him to bare my hair,” Maddie sucked in a breath, and with a broken voice, said, “but that was the very last thing I should have feared. Because what came next set the course of my life, until I was freed just months ago.”