We all moved to our usual seats, mine in the middle of AK and Vike. Styx sat at the end. His hands lifted. I pulled out my blade. Ky started talking business, but all I could see was the blade that I’d pressed to my skin. I ran it over and over the tattoos of my flames. I could feel the burning, the fire bubbling underneath, but as I went to cut, I thought of Maddie’s face. The blade paused and I took a deep breath. I wanted to cut, I wanted to get the flames out. But thinking of Maddie kept them calm. It made them sleep.
Gripping the handle in my hands, I held it down on the table, and when I looked up, it was to find a shit ton of eyes all watching me. I shifted on my seat.
“What the fuck are you all looking at?” I hissed, fisting my hands by my side.
Ky shook his head, and spoke for the brothers. “Nothing.” His eyebrows pulled down. “You good?”
“Yeah. Why the fuck wouldn’t I be?”
Ky shook his head, his palms in the air. “No reason. Just checking in.”
My hand reached for my blade. This time I pushed it against my skin. Blood trickled down my arm, but I didn’t feel shit. Because it was Maddie’s face in my head again, Maddie telling me she wasn’t leaving me.
“AK, Vike, you’re on a two day run,” Ky’s voice said. I looked up.
“What about Flame?” AK asked. “We always go together.”
I watched Styx sign as Ky interpreted. “The brother’s still grounded. He might be doing good, but he’s not going on no fucking runs. We had to cover a shit ton of tracks when the Klan attacked on the last drop off, and our brother here went nuclear. Hush and Cowboy’ll be going with you instead.”
AK leaned forward. “You okay with that, Flame?”
I glanced down at my knife drawing blood, then felt real fucking good about Prez' decision, because it meant I could stay with Maddie. “I’m good with it,” I replied. AK eyed me weird then sat back in his chair.
I caught AK look to Viking, who mouthed, “The little one.”
My eyes snapped up to meet Vike and he flashed me a smile. “Just saying you like being with the little one. To talk. Or stare at her. Or whatever the fuck it is you do.”
“Vike! Shut your fucking mouth!” Ky called from the back and everyone refocused on Ky. “Now. Any other business?”
No one spoke, and my feet itched to get back to the cabin. “Good,” Ky said, “Gotta get back to the missus.”
A cough sounded beside me, and Viking coughed, “Pussy”, under his breath.
The brothers started laughing. Ky pointed his finger at Viking. “Brother, the day a piece of ass has you pussywhipped, will the best fucking day of my life.”
Viking’s red eyebrows danced. “It’ll never happen, VP. I got a fucking anaconda under these leathers and there’s no way he’ll want one pussy for the rest of his life. He likes variety. Lots of wet and tight variety.”
“Anaconda, my ass,” Tank said from across the table. “It’s a fucking worm at best.”
Viking jumped to his feet and began unzipping his leathers. “You want me to fucking prove it, brother?”
Styx slammed the gavel on the tabletop. All the brothers made quick work of getting the fuck out of the room. Tank headed out first, and Viking ran after him. “Tank, get the fuck back here now! Got a fuckin’ certain someone that wants to meet y’all!”
The room emptied and, grabbing my knife, I stood. AK blocked my path. “You sure you’re okay with skipping this run? The old Flame would’a spilled blood about being benched from the road.”
“The old Flame didn’t have Maddie.”
AK’s eyebrows shot up. “You owning that shit now?”
“She owns me. That’s all that fucking matters.”
AK sighed and ran his hand down his face. When he dropped his hand he looked me dead in the eye, and asked, “Can you handle this shit, brother? Can you handle giving her what she might want from you?”
Fury built and with gritted teeth, I said, “It ain’t like that. I wouldn’t… she wouldn’t…”
“Can you keep the flames down? Can you keep your shit together when things don’t go the way you want? ‘Cause Styx will fuck you up if you hurt her.”
Feeling the flames ignite under my skin, I twitched my head and backed AK against the wall. Lifting my knife, I sliced my blade down my arm needing the flames to be let loose before it got too much and I tore off AK’s head. AK just stood there and let it happen. The minute the blade sliced into my flesh and the blood ran free, I met AK in the eyes and hissed, “I won’t fucking hurt Maddie. I’d die first. She stays with me always. In my cabin, by my side. And no fucker will be taking her from me.”
“She’s moving in with you?”
“She’s mine,” I snarled.
AK’s chest almost pressed against mine and I jumped back, knife in hand. “Flame, you’re sounding really fucking insane now. More insane than usual.”
“I need Maddie,” I spat out. Then seeing her face in my head, seeing her smiling, I lowered my knife to my side and added, “She’s in my head all the time.” I looked up at AK, and confessed, “I slept. With her beside me, I can sleep with no demons in my head. And she sings to me. To me. No one’s ever sang to me before.”
AK dropped his head and hushed out, “Fuck, brother.”