She would always love him.
And she hated him, too, for making her want what she could not have. She hated him for loving her so much that he would risk everything to be together. And most of all, she hated him for turning her into the instrument that would destroy her family.
Until she’d met Gregory, Hermione and Richard were the only two people in the world for whom she truly cared. And now they would be ruined, brought far lower and into greater unhappiness than Lucy could ever imagine with Haselby.
Gregory thought that it would take hours for someone to find her here, but she knew better. No one would locate her for days. She could not remember the last time anyone had wandered up here. She was in the nanny’s washroom—but Fennsworth House had not had a nanny in residence for years.
When her disappearance was noticed, first they would check her room. Then they’d try a few sensible alternatives—the library, the sitting room, a washroom that had not been in disuse for half a decade…
And then, when she was not found, it would be assumed that she’d run off. And after what had happened at the church, no one would think she’d left on her own.
She would be ruined. And so would everyone else.
“It is not a question of my own happiness,” she finally said, her voice quiet, almost broken. “Gregory, I beg of you, please don’t do this. This is not just about me. My family—We will be ruined, all of us.”
He walked to her side and sat. And then he said, simply, “Tell me.”
She did. He would not give in otherwise, of that she was certain.
She told him everything. About her father, and the written proof of his treason. She told him about the blackmail. She told him how she was the final payment and the only thing that would keep her brother from being stripped of his title.
Lucy stared straight ahead throughout the telling, and for that, Gregory was grateful. Because what she said—it shook him to his very core.
All day Gregory had been trying to imagine what terrible secret could possibly induce her to marry Haselby. He’d run twice through London, first to the church and then here, to Fennsworth House. He had had plenty of time to think, to wonder. But never—not once—had his imagination led him to this.
“So you see,” she said, “it is nothing so common as an illegitimate child, nothing so racy as an extramarital affair. My father—an earl of the realm—committed treason. Treason.” And then she laughed. Laughed.
The way people did when what they really wanted was to cry.
“It’s an ugly thing,” she finished, her voice low and resigned. “There is no escaping it.”
She turned to him for a response, but he had none.
Treason. Good God, he could not think of anything worse. There were many ways—many many ways—one could get oneself thrown out of society, but nothing was as unforgivable as treason. There wasn’t a man, woman, or child in Britain who had not lost someone to Napoleon. The wounds were still too fresh, and even if they weren’t…
It was treason.
A gentleman did not forsake his country.
It was ingrained in the soul of every man of Britain.
If the truth about Lucy’s father were known, the earldom of Fennsworth would be dissolved. Lucy’s brother would be left destitute. He and Hermione would almost certainly have to emigrate.
And Lucy would…
Well, Lucy would probably survive the scandal, especially if her surname was changed to Bridgerton, but she would never forgive herself. Of that, Gregory was certain.
And finally, he understood.
He looked at her. She was pale and drawn, and her hands were clenched tightly in her lap. “My family has been good and true,” she said, her voice shaking with emotion. “The Abernathys have been loyal to the crown since the first earl was invested in the fifteenth century. And my father has shamed us all. I cannot allow it to be revealed. I cannot.” She swallowed awkwardly and then sadly said, “You should see your face. Even you don’t want me now.”
“No,” he said, almost blurting out the word. “No. That is not true. That could never be true.” He took her hands, held them in his own, savoring the shape of them, the arch of her fingers and the delicate heat of her skin.
“I am sorry,” he said. “It should not have taken me so long to collect myself. I had not imagined treason.”
She shook her head. “How could you?”
“But it does not change how I feel.” He took her face in his hands, aching to kiss her but knowing he could not.