He gazed out toward the diner, his eyes looking over the collection of cars. “It’ll be busier over here. A lot more people than usual.”
“It’s North’s and Luke’s uncle’s diner,” I said. “That’s good that it is busy, isn’t it?”
Derrick frowned. “Micah and Tom live across the street there.” He motioned to a trailer that was planted on the other side of the highway, and to another one about a hundred feet down the road on the same side. “It’ll make it harder for them to cross over if there’s more people coming here for this place.”
“Now who sounds like they’re Academy cavalry looking out for everyone,” I said, and grinned. “They’re old enough to look both ways.”
Derrick made a face at me, turned the bike around and started racing down the street without replying.
We circled around the neighborhood a few times. When we were done, we pedaled back to the shed at my house. We spilled out under the shade of the open shed. Late September warmth was kicking my butt. How was I so cold the other night at the football game? The weather changes felt out of place to me.
Derrick was telling me about his own old bike, how he broke the frame and hadn’t bothered to get another one, when a familiar sedan pulled into the drive. I perked up, expecting Kota but Nathan stepped out of the driver’s side. He was in jeans and a red Nike T-shirt. Even from the short distance away, I could see the dark circles under his eyes. How early had he gotten up?
Derrick sat up and held a hand up across his eyes against the light, looking out at Nathan as he approached. “Your entourage has arrived,” he said, and smirked.
“Very funny,” I said. I waved at Nathan.
Nathan smiled as he approached. “Hey Peanut.” He gave a short nod to Derrick in greeting. His eyes fell on the bikes. “What are those?”
“Sang and I found them in the shed. We fixed them up,” Derrick said. “They’re pretty nice. Still work. We’ve been riding around on them so I think the tires are okay.”
Nathan laughed. “You two have been having fun, huh?”
“Yeah,” I said, happy that I could prove that I could get along for an afternoon without them hovering. Not that I wanted them to not come over, but I didn’t want them to feel they had to watch me every minute.
“I was going to sleep all day. Her bed is pretty comfortable,” Derrick said, and jerked his head in my direction. “But she tackled me.”
“I thought you were Gabriel!”
Derrick laughed, pushing a hand through his brown hair. “And I thought you were trying to kill me. I didn’t mean to throw you that hard.”
I was giggling at this until I caught a sullen look from Nathan that I didn’t understand. He recovered, a smile half masking his serious eyes. “He didn’t hurt you, did he?” he asked me.
I attempted a smile, unsure how to approach that now that he was looking so strange. “No. I’m fine.”
Derrick stood up, stretching. “I’m going to find Danielle. If she’s still sleeping, I should wake her up. She’ll be more of a pain Monday morning if she’s too far off her schedule.” He stumbled out of the shed, heading to the side door in the garage.
I giggled. That sounded like normal siblings looking out for each other. I wondered why Marie and I weren’t like that. I stood up, brushing the dust off of my shorts.
When Derrick was out of earshot, Nathan turned on me so fast that I was startled and took a step back. “What happened?” he asked, almost sounding as demanding as Mr. Blackbourne.
A finger fluttered up and hovered over my mouth. “Huh?”
“He was in your bed? What the hell is that about? What’s been going on here?”
Was he angry with me? With a shaking voice, I told him about how I jumped on Derrick and how later we came outside and fixed the bikes. I skipped over how I showed Derrick the attic. It didn’t seem important. “So I guess Danielle and Derrick spent the night.”
“He didn’t ... I mean ... you didn’t sleep in the bed with him?”
My lips parted in surprise. Why was he asking me about this? I’d thought at first he would be more concerned about Danielle and what she knew. The question threw me off kilter. “No. I told you. I thought it was Gabriel or someone else. I jumped on him and when he woke up, we came outside.”
“I don’t see why he had to sleep in your room,” he said.
“I didn’t know he was going to.” What was this? My insides rattled, feeling the waves of tension from Nathan I hadn’t experienced from him before. “Honey?” I said softly. “What’s wrong? It’s okay he did, right? I mean, you guys sleep ...”
“That’s not the same thing,” he snapped, his voice deepening and thick with jealousy. His hand shot up, pointing toward the house. “He can’t sleep there.”
I stepped back, my hand dropping from my mouth to the base of my throat. My tongue stilled behind my lips. Did I mess up? Why was he angry with me over something I had no control over?
His eyes widened in surprise when I backed away from him. “Sang, I’m sorry,” he said in a softer tone.
“I didn’t know,” I said, my lips trembling.
Nathan sighed, frowning. He took a step closer to me, his arms out and open but stopped, inviting me in but hesitating as if worried I wouldn’t want it. “I know. I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to yell at you. Come here.”
I bit my lip, keeping my hand at the base of my throat. I stepped closer. When I was within arm’s reach, he encircled me, drawing me into his body in a tight hug. Instinctively, my arms wrapped around his neck. Feeling his warm hug, I let out a shuddering sigh, relaxing.
Nathan pressed his cheek against the top of my head. “I’m sorry,” he said again. “I know nothing happened. You’re not that type.”
“What type?” I asked, still confused.
Nathan uttered a couple of syllables but whatever word he meant to say ended with a grunt. He pulled back enough to where he could look down at me, his blue eyes locking with mine. “Sang, I know we’re kind of different. I trust Kota and the others with you. I trust our family.”
I scrunched my eyebrows at him. “Derrick wouldn’t hurt me,” I said.
“I know,” Nathan said. “He’s not us, though.” He twisted his lips, looking pained again. His big hands rubbed at my back. “I’m just a little jealous. I don’t like the idea of him sleeping in the bed you and I sleep in together. I had this image of you being there with him and I just ... I can’t think like that. I don’t like it.”
“We didn’t do anything,” I said, surprised by his frankness and wanting to ease his worries. “I swear, I thought it was Gabriel or Luke or one of the others when I wal
ked in ...”
He half smiled. “I know. It’s not what you did. It’s what he did. And it wasn’t his fault, either. I shouldn’t really feel this way. I can’t help it. I don’t know, maybe it was arriving and seeing you both hanging out and being so casual about it. I couldn’t stop thinking about it.”
“I thought you ... you said you didn’t get jealous.” It sounded so wrong. I felt it sounded like I just said he shouldn’t get jealous at all, as if another guy could come around and he shouldn’t think twice about it. It wasn’t what I meant. I didn’t understand.
He brought a hand around to rub a palm against my cheek. “I said we shouldn’t feel jealous over things we don’t need. Or worry over things that wouldn’t change.”
“What do you mean?”
He sighed. “Like Kota’s mom. She wasn’t going anywhere and as long as I stayed a good person and a close friend, she still cared about me and she still cared for Kota.”
The puzzle pieces clicked. “You think Derrick could make me stop caring about you?”
“He isn’t us, Peanut. If you ever dated him, or say Rocky or someone else, they’d want you for themselves. I know we’re different, but ... I mean ... we’re something now, aren’t we?”
I knew my cheeks must have been a mass of redness. “Us?” I asked, without really understanding what he was trying to ask me.
This set the corners of his mouth rising. “Yeah. Us. We’re an us, aren’t we?”
I wasn’t sure again what he meant. Did he mean I was with them? As in part of the family? “If you want me.”
His eyes softened. He picked up my hand, drawing it to his mouth, and kissed the knuckle. “I want you, Peanut. I knew it when I met you. You’re different. You belong with us ... with me.”
His inflection made it clear. Kota was okay. Silas and the others were okay. Derrick wasn’t. There was a line, and it began and ended with the Academy, with this small circle of friends that I had started to depend on. It wasn’t normal, like Derrick said. What I needed to figure out was, was this what I wanted? Would I ever understand it and would I ever fit in?