Her face littered with pink splotches. Her eyes and nostrils flared. She spun on me. “You lied about your father. He’s not on a business trip.”
I stepped back, my mouth parted in surprise. “What... what do you mean? Of course he is. He left a note on my door.”
She pushed the door away to open it fully. I remained back, afraid of what it held.
My mother lunged for me, grabbing me by the cloth of the top and yanking it until it tore at my shoulder. I cried out, mostly out of surprise. My voice choked short. I stumbled next to her, looking in.
The closet was bare. The only things that remained were two plastic hangers, one with an old, worn brown suit coat, the elbows thinned enough that it needed patching. The shelf above the rack was empty, the floor clean, neatly vacuumed.
Her hand continued to grasp at my shirt. “Where did he go?”
I shook my head, tears cutting through my eyes. “I... I don’t know,” I squeaked out.
She pointed with the phone again toward the empty closet. “Get in there.”
The blood drained from my face. Was this going to be dangerous? Should I refuse? I hesitated. They didn’t have a camera in the closet, did they? They wouldn’t see me if she tried to chain me to something.
Without knowing what to do, and from years of habit, I obeyed. Shaking on my feet, I stepped inside the empty space of the walk-in closet, noting the staleness of the air. My father had moved out his things a long time ago.
The truth of what that meant evaded my mind as my mother glared in at me.
“Take off those clothes,” she ordered.
A shiver chased down my spine. “What?”
“Take your clothes off,” she commanded. “If you refuse to obey me, I’ll tear them off.”
I stared at the ground. My mother had never ordered me to strip before. I didn’t want her to tear the clothes, so I removed the shorts, holding them out between my fingers and unsure what to do with them. I trembled as I stood in just the bra top and in my underwear.
“All of it,” she commanded, grasping the shorts and pulling them from me.
I swallowed against the dryness in my throat. Her eyes shot darts at me while I removed the top and slipped the underwear down my legs. She collected these, too.
“Now,” she said, “you’re going to sit in there. You won’t be going to school today.”
Was that it? Was she going to keep me here in the closet until school was over? I stood with my legs close together, and my arms over my chest to mask my body. My shivers rattled through me, like a tornado repeating itself through my spine. “How long do I have to stay in here for?” I asked.
“Until your father gets back,” she snarled at me. “If I let him. I might finally send the police after him. Let them deal with him, and you.”
Before I could ask her what she meant, she slammed the closet door. There was a click. The light above me blinked out.
I lowered myself to my knees, my breath stumbling from my lips. Nathan would try again in moments. He might even let Kota know I wasn’t responding. They would turn on the cameras. I wasn’t anywhere to be found. Would they come? If they couldn’t locate me, would they even try to attempt it? How could I stop them? She’d call the police on them.
I listened as my mother trailed around in her bedroom. The television was on. Her being awake and on the warpath meant they couldn’t sneak in, brown bottle or not.
I fell onto my side on the floor, pulling my knees up to my chest and wrapping my arms around my legs. I breathed in the scent of Nathan on my skin just for some connection to them. Without Kota’s command, or Mr. Blackbourne directing, without the others there, I felt lost. What do I do now?
If I walked out, she’d call the police on me. And she made sure I couldn’t just run off because she’d taken my clothes. Why would she do this to me? Was it because she believed I stole her money? I didn’t know she had any at all. Did she believe the lies she told my dad?
I wasn’t sure what to do. I wasn’t hurt. I was alone. That was it. Where was my father? Why were all of his things gone?
Not even a fucking goodbye. That was what Nathan had said when he showed me the note. Did he know about my father taking everything with him? Why didn’t he tell me?
Time passed. I wasn’t sure how long. From above my head, footsteps squeaked. I recognized Marie’s sounds. She was rushing to get into the shower, brushing her teeth at the sink.
My mother’s footsteps moved around the room and then changed direction to the hallway. Creaking sounded on the stairwell. Should I try to escape? Should I dart out, check to see if the cell phone was there? No. The others wouldn’t want me to do something so risky. If I tried for the cell phone and she found me, she could make good on her promise to call the police. I may not get a call in to the guys before that happened.
For lack of anything to do, I reached for the worn brown coat hovering over me. I covered myself with it. It smelled faintly of staleness and dust. Forgotten. A leftover, unwanted coat was all that was left of my father, and it covered my nakedness demanded upon me by my own mother. My fingers traced over the weave of the fibers, finding the buttons, one missing at the breast. Maybe he was never there for me, like Nathan’s father, but I never thought he would disappear. I may have never seen him, but he was always there at night, looking over everything I didn’t think about. Now that his things were gone, I felt we were forgotten and discarded like his coat.
I didn’t know how to feel about it. Should I be angry? Why wasn’t I more upset? Was it because deep inside I didn’t really believe it? Did I think there might be another explanation?
My mother’s footsteps returned, along with the voice of Marie. I sat up, clutching the coat around my shoulders and holding my breath to listen.
“Sang is staying home,” my mother said. “If that... man asks you about her, you’re to say she’s sick and she won’t be going to school.”
“Where’s dad?” Marie asked.
“He’s abandoned us,” my mother said, monotone-like, almost too matter-of-fact. “I’ve got to call the bank to see if he left us with any money.”
“Why don’t you call him?” Marie asked.
“I can’t reach him. But text that man back and pretend to be her. Say she’s not feeling well. I don’t want him coming over and looking for her.”
My voice caught in my throat as I gasped. They’re going to lie. Marie was working with her. Did she know I was in the closet?
I sank on the floor, stretching to gaze out at the crack between the carpet and the bottom of the door. From the angle, all I could see was the other closet door. I tried it from different angles but the best I could do was see the door to the bathroom.
The bathroom! There was probably a camera in there.
I twisted the handle, opening it a crack. “Mom?” I called, trying to sound humble.
“Close that door,” she snapped at me.
“I need to use the bathroom, please,” I said.
Pause. “You better be five seconds,” she warned.
I let the closet door burst open, stepping out wearing the coat around me. Marie was in the bedroom, my pink cell phone in her hands as she typed in it. Her brown eyes lifted, looking at my face, at my nudity and the brown coat. I was about to flash her a warning look. Be careful, I wanted to tell her. She’s not well. She’ll lock you in the closet, too.
Only when I looked at my sister, I didn’t see surprise or sorrow. I saw something that made me cower where I stood.
Glee. Pure, unadulterated joy. It was the happiest I had ever seen her. With her shoulders back, wearing Nathan’s blue t-shirt on her body and the new red shorts I’d just been wearing. She held the phone like a prize.
All I could think was what could I have ever done to her that she would take such pleasure in seeing me reduced to nothing. Had we not tried to work together over the years? Maybe we didn't get along, but we weren’t mean to each other. I got her keys. I tried to help her sneak out wh
en she wanted. I never tattled on her like she often did to me.
“I should hang on to the phone,” Marie said. “If they try to text her at school, I could keep telling them she’s sick.”
My mother nodded, her cracked lips pursed. She held the house phone in her hands. “I don’t care. Keep it,” she said. “I’ll call the school and tell them she won’t be in today.” She pushed buttons on the phone. “I’m calling your father’s office. If your father doesn’t call me back by tonight, I’m calling the police to report that he abandoned his daughter. If he wants to walk out on me, he’ll have to take her with him.”
Quick Thinking