I rolled onto my back, adjusting my clothes after cleaning up. “Tell them to go away,” I said in a whiny tone.
“Kayli says hi,” Corey said. “Axel says hi back.”
My heart did a lurch. I could have guessed it was one of them, but for some reason, picturing Axel had me feeling like he knew. I was pretty sure he did after the way Corey answered the phone.
I wasn’t sure how to handle it. Was this our life? Finding bits of time together with one of them and trying not to feel guilty about it? How long would it take for us, after the crisis was over, to figure out how to live like this?
WHAT YOU MEAN TO ME
At some point, Corey replaced his shirt and tossed the other into the laundry. I stayed on the couch. He had to stay at the computer, and I didn’t want to distract him. I managed to get up and take a light shower and then got back into borrowed T-shirt and boxers, I wasn’t sure whose. I ended up back on the couch and drifted into a light sleep.
It was Brandon who eventually lifted me off the couch. I’d heard him come in, but it was the first thing he did after closing the door behind himself.
“Why’d you let her sleep out here?” Brandon asked his brother, still at the monitors. I wasn’t sure what time it was, but I didn’t struggle as he carried me.
“Probably better right now,” he said. “Since we were by ourselves. We need to stay together, right?”
Brandon grunted as he lifted me. I was too lazy to offer to walk myself, but I made it easier by holding on to his shoulders. “I couldn’t sleep,” I mumbled.
“You looked asleep.”
“Meh.”
Brandon nudged his bedroom door open with his foot and went in. He placed me in the middle of his bed and then walked out.
It wasn’t long before he was back, nudging me to get under the blankets.
“You shouldn’t have given up your auto shop,” I murmured to him, half drowsy. “Whatever you call it.”
“My business?” he said and settled next to me, nuzzling my shoulder with his face. His voice was muffled, and his breath was hot on my body as he spoke. “If we can get back, I can get it back. It’s just for now, if we have to go for a long time. I want to be ready.”
I still didn’t like it. “We should send them to Russia.”
“You’re talking like Raven.”
“I’m serious.”
He sighed, the breath hot against my body and making me too warm. “You really shouldn’t wish people would die.”
“I don’t think I’d feel guilty about this.” I said this and sat up, pulling away from him. I tugged off the shirt and the shorts in quick motions. Down to my bra and underwear.
He watched me do this. “I thought you were always cold here.”
“I think I’m adjusting. The hospital was super cold.” When I was horizontal on the bed again, I stretched my arms over my head, an inch away from him for breathing room. “Is it just me? Am I feverish or something?”
His palm swept over my forehead, moving a strand of hair out of the way, before pressing and feeling. “Doesn’t seem like it. But now that you mention it, it does feel warmer in here. The air conditioning for the building might be broken.” He quieted for a moment. “I don’t hear air flowing.”
“Great,” I said. “Maybe we’ve got good timing. Getting out of the building just as it’s falling apart.” I sighed. “I’ll still miss it.”
He propped his head up higher on his arm and watched me on my back. “Me too.”
“It sucks to leave.”
“Yeah.”
“Shouldn’t we have left by now? If we’re going to go?”
“Not yet. It’s kind of like we’re trying to give ourselves a head start. If we linger a bit like we’re going to stay, and shift people around slowly and leave, then we’ll stand a better chance of her not catching our trail. She’ll probably still catch on we left, but it’ll take time to follow. We want to be as ahead of her as possible. Sometimes being patient is lifesaving.”
I groaned, ending in a short grunt. “I don’t like waiting around.”
“I’d rather get out from under her radar quickly, too. But if we all disappear at the same time, it’s too noticeable. and room for error in this.” His hand stretched out until a palm rested on my stomach. “I think we’re leaving first.”
“Just you and me?”
“You just got out of the hospital, and we both got sick for so long last time. They don’t want to risk us getting caught and getting that again.”
I glared at the ceiling. “No one should get that again. Never…”
His grip on my stomach strengthened a little, for his fingertips to dip into my skin a little. “We’ll stop her.”
I turned my head, only to find his hovering close, nose to nose.
I had a brief moment of déjà vu. Having done things with his brother moments ago, and now here he was. Maybe it was one thing in concept to date multiple people at the same time, as he’d put it earlier, but given they were brothers, twins even, I was on edge.
Did they need to hear every little incident between myself and the others? In a way, I was coming to understand maybe the way this would work better was to acknowledge if they asked, but don’t push the issues or insist on talking about it.
And it was much easier to forget all about everything else when Brandon hovered over closer, his lips tracing at my mouth.
“How are you feeling?” he asked. “Now that you’re out of the hospital?”
“I’m not bleeding any more,” I said. “Although I think I’d like to take it easy…”
He started to pull back. “How easy?”
In reaction, I reached for his wrist, putting his hand back, and lowered it slowly downward. “I mean let’s not do any acrobatics or anything…”
There was some hesitation from him. I couldn’t tell if he was ready for this sort of thing with me. We’d danced around it so often.
I was learning to shut my inner critic up about the situation. Are we doing this, or are we going to talk about it all the time?
What if there wasn’t a next time?
I kept his hand on me, and it seemed to encourage him.
He leaned in and kissed me.
In some ways, it was like he’d never really kissed me before. This was different. This was like the depth of him, who he was, finally broke out and consumed every bit of me.
I tried to do things here and there, touch him, tug off his clothes.
He patiently put aside my hands. “I’ll take care of you,” he said every time.
Given how sleepy I really was, I let him.
It started with his hands, and eventually he switched to where he was cupping my body
and using his mouth for everything. At some point he put a pillow under the small of my back and hips and gave himself better access.
After that, I was between ecstasy and lulled into relaxing almost to sleep. I only needed to guide him a couple of times, and he knew just the right pressure to keep his mouth and suck or lick and it was enough.
Every time I orgasmed, I could hear him getting very excited, but he never pushed to do anything else and took care of himself. For the moment, he was giving me everything, showing me if I let go, he’d forever be pleased with giving.
When I couldn’t keep at it any longer, he laid beside me, an arm around my chest and a hand between my thighs, and he just cupped where I was most sensitive. He massaged gently, allowing blood to flow but not to excite me, just relaxing.
He kissed at my neck. “I’m in love with everything about you,” he said.
My heart surged, until I wasn’t so sure I wouldn’t orgasm at his massaging touch with just hearing what he was saying. I whispered I loved him too, although I wasn’t sure how loud I was.
I thought I’d feel more guilty, but after having talked with everyone and understanding they knew, and knowing they could have stopped themselves but haven’t, it made all the difference.
It’s what I hated the most about the situation we found ourselves in. Just when we were figuring out how to manage this strange relationship conundrum we’d found ourselves in, with me dating them at the same time, it was like the outside world was making it more difficult. Every moment with him, I was listening out for someone to warn us something else had happened. I was aware that any second, someone could burst in.
Knowing the others could be just outside the door, I kept myself quiet, and he did, too. Even with music playing, there was always caution, things to be aware of.
I yearned for a time when that wouldn’t be the case.
TIME’S UP
It was only then I actually slept hard. The moment I was under the blankets with him at my back, I was out.
Maybe I needed to feel safe.
In the morning, I smelled coffee.