"But..."
"I will sleep on your couch tonight and we will talk in the morning."
Since her couch was a wicker settee that would have left her cramped, she couldn't picture it.
"You would be more comfortable in a hotel." She hated saying it, but knew it to be the truth.
He shook his head, his black hair glinting under her bedroom's overhead light. “I do not want you out of my sight again."
"Don't be silly. You can come back in the morning. I'll still be here."
"You are not safe on your own, Rachel." His fingers tightened on her shoulders. "Until you are on the right medications, your health is at risk."
She moved a little and he looked at his hands.
Relaxing his hold on her with a chagrined expression, he said, "I am sorry."
"I can't take medication. The doctor said so." Well, perhaps that was not exactly what Pompella had said, but everything about the appointment was hazy after Rachel learned she was pregnant.
"The doctor should have her medical license revoked. This is not true." Derision laced his words.
Her fingernails bit into her hands as they curled into fists. "I won't take anything that puts the baby at risk."
"I would not ask you to."
She calmed down again, disturbed at how good the warmth of his hands on her shoulders felt.
He removed them, standing up. "Perhaps you have some extra bedding for your sofa?"
"You'll never be able to sleep on it." She got up too and retrieved her royal blue silk quilt from where she'd tossed it on the floor earlier.
She finished making her bed, her mind offering a solution that she wondered if she had the courage to offer.
"I will not leave you alone." The fierceness of his tone left her in no doubt he meant what he said. "If that means sleeping on the floor, I will do so."
"I knew you would protect the baby once you realized it was yours." The words slipped out before she thought better of them.
"So, at least you trusted me that much."
She shrugged, supposing he was right. Her belief in his commitment to family was a trust of sorts and it hadn't been misplaced...not like her belief in his integrity as a lover.
She sighed and eyed the king size water bed that took up most of her small bedroom. She'd gotten it for a song when two of her neighbors moved in together. It was a small apartment complex on the beach and though she was introverted in many ways, she'd gotten to know most of her neighbors well enough that she'd been offered the bed first off.
It was definitely big enough for her and Sebastian to sleep with an ocean of space between them.
A year ago, she would have been terrified to share a bed with him platonically, afraid she would give away her desire for him in her sleep. She no longer felt anything like that. And after the way he'd booted her from his bed two and a half months ago, she wasn't worried about him taking the invitation the wrong way.
"You can sleep in here."
“I will not allow you to be evicted from your bed.'' He sounded really pained.
She actually smiled.
It had been a while and her cheeks felt tight from the effort. "I wasn't offering to sleep elsewhere. The bed is a California king. We can both sleep in it all night without touching."
Sebastian said nothing in reply to her false assumption, too dumbfounded that she had offered to share her bed.
"You do not mind me sleeping in here with you?" he asked in amazement.
Her green gaze did not waver. “The sexual side of our relationship is over for both of us, so I'm not worried about you trying to take advantage."
Her words stung his pride. "I did not take advantage before. You were with me all the way."
"Not all the way, Sebastian. I didn't go with you on your nasty minded mental journey that left you convinced I was a living replica of my mother."
No, she had not. He had made that journey all by himself and could blame no one but himself for the results.
Her small bow mouth twisted in a worried frown. "The truth is, I'm afraid."
"Of what are you afraid?"
She yawned, her eyes red with fatigue. "I don't want to faint like I did at work with no one around to make sure the baby is all right."
“You fainted?'' He'd practically shouted the words, but she'd told him she was fine.
Her expression perturbed, she bit her lip.
“Tell me the truth, pethi mou.''
"I'm not a liar, no matter what you'd like to believe," she bristled.
"You told me you were fine." He hadn't meant that to sound like he was accusing her of dishonesty, but her expression told him that was how she'd taken his words.
"I was...am fine. They would not have released me from the hospital if I hadn't been."
"You were in the hospital?" His insides clenched in fury and fear.
She had been ill enough to go to the hospital and he had not even known. He would not contemplate what would have happened if she had not called him to tell him where she was. His investigator would have found her eventually, Hawk was too good at his job to have failed, but success could have come too late.
"It was just the emergency room. My coworkers called the ambulance when I passed out."
He shook his head. They would have to talk about her job tomorrow as well. Working under the current circumstances was insane, but he did not expect her to see that.
"I think it is time we went to bed."
She nodded, smothering another yawn with her hand, a hand that should be wearing his wedding ring. He waited until she got into the bed before turning off the light and joining her. Rachel's breathing smoothed into an even pattern denoting sleep almost immediately.
He had a hard time taking in how easily she had slept. He was too keyed up for sleep. He had ached to see her again, to share her bed and those things had come to pass, but not like he had expected them to.
She had not wanted to see him, but had forced herself to call for the sake of their unborn child and she had allowed him into her bed only because she believed the sexual side of their relationship was over. He did not agree, but acknowledged it might take him some time to make her see things his way.
He had hurt her badly. However, she had been too responsive before his slide into temporary insanity to completely shut him out on a physical level.
If he did not believe that, he would have no hope at all for their future.
He certainly wasn't going to reach her any time soon on a emotional level. She didn't trust him worth a drachma.
Using the passion between them was the only way he could think to bind her to him at present, but he could not employ it yet. Such a move would not be safe for her until she was on the medications the doctor he had consulted told him about and he was determined not to hurt her again.
In any way.
He could and would control his urge to seduce, but he had made no promises not to touch her in th
e night. She'd made that assertion they could sleep together without touching. He knew that for him, such a thing would not be possible. Not after ten weeks of searching for her only to find her in peril from her health and pregnant with his child.
He waited until she was in deep sleep before gently pulling her into his arms, and allowing himself to slip into much needed sleep with them wrapped tightly around her.
For the second time, Sebastian woke up beside Rachel.
It felt right. He savored her unique scent and the feel of her warm silky skin against his. She slept in an oversize T-shirt which had ridden up so that they were thigh to naked thigh. He'd come to bed in his boxers and been surprised she had not objected at all to his lack of clothing, but then she said she no longer wanted him.
The sex was over for her.
He counted the days before he could challenge that assumption. However, he would not push her tolerance of his presence by allowing her to wake up in their current compromising position.