His smile was positively sinful and then he kissed her. Again. Not a passionate one, but certainly nothing platonic either.
Kayla gasped, floundering with feelings she’d barely held in check for years. Her mind fought with her heart and sadly her mind was not winning at the moment.
Still, she said, “You have to stop kissing me.”
“The taste and feel of your lips says otherwise.”
“Don’t be a jerk.”
“I assure you, I am not.”
“Andreas!”
He squeezed her neck, like he was comforting her. “Do not worry, Kayla. It is all going to be all right. I promise.”
“You can’t promise that. Everything is messed up.”
“Not anymore.”
“How can you say that?” Nothing had changed. Except maybe he’d lost his mind. “I’m dreaming, right? That’s what’s happening here.”
He kissed her again. Seriously. His lips against hers were firm and strong and possessive and real. Very real.
He broke the kiss only to kiss the corner of her lips like he always used to do. “There, does that feel like a dream?”
“I’m not answering that.”
He made a pained sound. “I too have had dreams, but I have done my best to forget them in the morning.”
“Andreas! There are children around.” And avidly interested adults.
“As I said, a conversation for later.”
“I’m not dreaming.”
“No, Kay-love, you are not.”
“I never understood why you used that endearment when you don’t believe in that feeling.” And he hadn’t used it in six years. Now all of a sudden they’d had a mind-blowing kiss and he was using it again.
He shrugged. “It is just a word.”
It wasn’t to her, but maybe that was why he used it. Love was just a word to him, like honey or sweetheart. It meant nothing more, but maybe it meant nothing less either and that was what she should be focused on. Something was happening here.
Something weird.
Something he wasn’t going to discuss around others, which made her think it involved sex. Andreas wanted sex with her. Did she want sex with him? Knowing he planned to marry some paragon of perfection for a business mogul’s wife somewhere down the road?
Kayla deliberately turned her focus back to the view outside the boat and listened to the history behind the bridge off in the distance. Its architectural significance wasn’t enough to get her mind off the idea of sex with Andreas, but she tried.
What was she supposed to do?
Could she have a final hurrah with Andreas without breaking her own heart? He’d broken it once, six years ago, and she’d never mended. It was still too cracked to even consider falling for someone else.
Would giving in to him give her that illusive thing called closure or do her irreparable harm?
How hard would it be to turn him down? The warmth of his arm around her shoulder, the way her body responded to that simple touch told her extremely hard. Leaning toward impossible.
But did she have a choice?
Would she survive a night of casual sex with Andreas Kostas and watching him walk away after like nothing important had happened?
If six years ago had taught her anything, it had been that watching Andreas walk away after intimacy was more painful than losing any foster family. Because he felt like family. He felt like he was supposed to be hers. Only he wasn’t. Not really. They were friends. And that was all Andreas would ever allow her to be.
For him that was clearly an important role. Important enough for him to drop everything to follow her and stay with her until she returned where he considered she belonged, but he didn’t want the kind of belonging that she’d always craved. He didn’t want to be her family.
“New York is a beautiful city. If it was not so full of people, I could live here, I think.” Andreas’s words broke into her musings.
She gathered her thoughts and pressed them back into the recesses of her mind and heart, where they had to stay, just like they had for six years. “It is. I never realized how beautiful. I think I’ll always fit with Portland best, but I could visit New York again and stay longer.”
“Perhaps we will.”
She didn’t reply. They’d traveled together before. Maybe they would again. Maybe his wife wouldn’t care who traveled with the couple on their trips. Maybe Kayla would get to the point that seeing Andreas and his wife didn’t rip through her insides with all the pain of a serrated knife.
Maybe never.
CHAPTER SIX
DESPITE THE AMAZING scenery and the fascinating narration, the rest of the cruise passed in a blur for Kayla.
Andreas never let up on his affectionate touching, eliciting a reaction in her body she did her best to ignore. Because the longer it went on, the more convinced she was that she had to tell him no.
No sex. No last night together before he moved on to marry someone else.
“Do you want lunch?” he asked as they were led to early disembarkation ahead of the other passengers.
She was about to answer in the negative when her stomach growled.
He smiled. “It seems you do.”
“Let me guess. You’ve already got reservations.”
“Naturally.”
There was no car waiting for them, but a pedicab driver stepped forward. “Mr. Kostas?”
Andreas nodded.
“This way.” The man indicated a newer cab with red leather seats and a motorized bicycle attached.
“We’re taking a pedicab?” Kayla asked.
“I thought you would enjoy the experience.” Andreas handed her up into the cab, for all the world like they were on a date.
Not that he ever treated her with a lack of courtesy, but things were feeling distinctly personal and guy-girl in the guy-expecting-sex-at-the-end-of-the-date kind of way.
The pedicab driver started peddling, weaving in and out of traffic in a truly alarming way.
Kayla gasped at a close call and Andreas took her hand. “It is all right, pethi mou.”
“Greek endearments? Really?” He was pulling out all the stops.
Andreas laced their fingers. “This is one of the company’s best drivers. I made sure of it.”
“I have been driving cab here for two years,” the man said with a slight Eastern European accent.
Kayla asked about it and learned he was from a small village in Russia. He had his engineering degree, but had to take more schooling to qualify for the jobs he wanted here in the States.
Kayla was fascinated and asked more questions until Andreas interrupted, clearly annoyed. “I believe you know enough of his life story.”
“I do not mind your lady’s interest, Mr. Kostas.”
But for some reason Andreas did. It was almost as if he was jealous, which Kayla knew was ludicrous. He was not the jealous type.
“We should be at the restaurant soon,” Andreas said to her, ignoring the cabbie’s comment.
Kayla frowned. “Don’t be rude, Andreas. That is not like you.”
Which was not strictly true. He could actually be really rude when he wanted, but he tended not to be impolite to people in a position like the cabbie’s. Andreas didn’t throw his weight around with what his family might consider the servant class. He’d seen enough of that living in Greece, he’d confided to her once.
“I will tip him extra if that will make you happy,” Andreas replied grumpily.
She frowned. “You are being crass.”
“Nothing I say will please you, but you hang on his every word.” Oh, her ex-lover sounded seriously annoyed.
“I already know your history,” she tried to explain.
“So, now I bore you?”
Oh, man. He was determined to take offense, wasn’t he? “That is not what I said.”
The cabbie coughed in a way that sounded suspiciously like he was covering a laugh.
Andreas gave him a suspicious look and Kayla knew things were going to go downhill fast if she didn’t do something.
“What restaurant are we going to?” she asked with desperate enthusiasm. “Is it another tourist attraction?”
“Not exactly.” Andreas turned his attention full on her.
She smiled up at him.
“I know when you’re faking your smiles, you know that, right?” he asked with a clear frown.
She rolled her eyes. “Give me points for trying and tell me about the restaurant.”