He nodded.
"I'm sorry," I said. "That must have been--"
"Hell." He spat the word. "It was hell. I felt like the biggest phony ever. The grieving boyfriend who hadn't even wanted to be her boyfriend anymore."
He sat up then. After a moment, he looked at me.
"I did grieve. I missed her. I really did."
"Like me. A grieving friend."
He nodded. "Only no one would let me be that. It felt like everyone wanted me to be heartbroken, and when I wasn't..."
"You felt guilty."
"It was like they went back and rewrote our history. Sure, we'd been going out for almost a year, but it ... it wasn't serious, you know? Not like Brooke and Alan, crazy about each other, can't keep their hands off each other, and everyone knows they're going to get married and grow old together. With Seri and me, it was more like you and your summer boys. Just fun. No one expected it to be a forever thing. Then she died, and it was as if ... as if people wanted it to be more. More tragic. More romantic."
"I don't think they meant that," I said. "If I ever made you feel--"
"You didn't. With you, I could just be the guy who lost a good friend. Until..."
"Until I started worrying about you not dating. Started thinking you and Serena had been more serious than I realized."
"All I had to do was tell you the truth. Only I couldn't. At first, it felt like I'd be dumping on you for no reason. By the time you started worrying about me, it was too late. I couldn't figure out how to say it."
/> "Kind of like me and this skin-walker business?"
A faint smile. "I guess so."
"I wish you'd told me."
He met my gaze then. "So do I."
I paused, then said, "She was happy. Serena. If you had broken it off, she'd have understood. She was--" Crazy about you. I couldn't say that, of course. It wouldn't make this easier. "That last year... She was really happy."
"Good."
More silence. Less comfortable now. I glanced over at him. Time to change the subject.
"So, you were going to tell me about your powers. Still up for it?"
"If you are."
"Definitely."
Daniel said he first noticed changes in the boxing ring--getting faster and sharper, sensing blows before he even saw them coming. The persuasion, too. He'd always found it easy to persuade people to listen to him. Simple skills like paying attention, looking them in the eye and being firm when he spoke. Lately, though, it seemed ... too easy. Like with the tattoo artist's aunt--he'd been able to get her to talk after she refused to.
"You gotta admit, that's one sweet power," I said.
"You think so?"
"Um, yeah. Duh."
He glanced over. "Well, I think being able to change into a cougar is cool, which you obviously aren't so sure of. Maybe we can switch."
I laughed. "I wish. Shape-shifting will probably be cool, eventually, but changing from human to cat? I don't think that's going to tickle. Persuasion, though? I don't see the downside."
"No? So if I have this power, how do I know why people agree with me? Was I right when I persuaded the others not to go back for Nicole? Or did Hayley and Sam just agree because of my power?"