"Corey told me what Rafe did on the helicopter. How he let go so he wouldn't pull you and Daniel out. The Rafe I knew wouldn't have done that. Wouldn't even have thought of it."
"He didn't mean to trick you," I said. "He was looking for something in Salmon Creek. Something he really needed to find, to help his sister. He didn't mean to hurt anyone."
He didn't mean to hurt anyone. Not Hayley and the other girls he'd chased and cut loose. Not me, the one he'd finally caught, only to admit he'd pursued me for a reason.
I understood that now. I wished I could have understood it then. I wished I could have said something in that last moment, before he let go.
He'd told me it was okay. His last words to me.
&
nbsp; Why couldn't they have been my last words to him?
NINE
IT WASN'T EASY SETTING out again. We were tired and aching from sleeping on the cold ground. Even Sam complained. Everyone's jeans were still damp. My sneakers squirted water with every step from sleepwalking into the creek. The clothing that had dried stunk of mildew and felt stiff and scratchy. And we were hungry. I took them back to the creek for washing and drinking. It would keep us alive until we found food. We drank enough to fill our stomachs temporarily, and we headed out.
Once we were walking, I started feeling more myself. I seemed to be establishing a pattern here. Muster my strength and charge forward. Collapse in a puddle of grief and guilt. Charge forward. Collapse again.
I said as much to Daniel and the others chimed in, making mock bets on who would spend the most time in therapy after this, and whether we could get group discounts. The joking was strained, though, and the more we walked, the less we talked.
Eventually we were tramping through the forest in silence. That didn't really help, because the quiet meant every time we startled an animal and it took off, brush crackling, Corey or Hayley or Sam--sometimes all three--would jump and spin around, their backs to ours, like bison fending off a pack of wolves.
"It's a rabbit," I'd say.
"It's a grouse," Daniel would say.
We'd both add, "If anything bigger comes near, Kenjii will let us know."
But it didn't help. For our friends, the forest--with its sun-dappled groves and majestic, soaring redwoods--was no less terrifying in daylight that it had been last night.
We'd camped near the base of the mountain. Whether it actually qualified as a mountain, I had no idea. But it was tall and it was wide, and it was on our way--which explained why we hadn't been able to see any lights--so I thought of it as "the mountain." Seeing it had come as a relief to all, the thought that we might get to the top, look down, and see civilization. Or it did come as a relief, until we realized how long a hike it would be--all of it uphill.
Still, it was our best option. We just needed to go up the side. Which would be fine, if we'd had anything to eat. And if Corey had miraculously healed overnight. He was doing better, but it was a tough haul for him. For all of us.
One good thing about the mountain? It gave us a reference point. If everything was quiet, I could still pick up the distant crash of waves to my left, but the mountain was an even better compass point to keep us going in the right direction.
We slogged uphill for at least two hours. I was guessing at the time. My watch had survived the first dunk after the helicopter crash but not the second one, when I'd been pulled right under. Daniel's still worked and I think Corey's did, too, but no one was asking them for the time--no one cared.
When I heard the burble of a stream, I picked my way through a patch of bramble to get to it. Hayley was right behind me, fighting through the branches instead of ducking them. Sam got poked in the eye. When she cursed, Hayley jumped and slipped on a muddy patch. Corey ripped his shirt on thorns helping her up. All three complained, loudly and bitterly.
"We need more water," Daniel said. "Which means you need to get to it, because we can't bring it back for you."
"Well, maybe if Hayley was more careful," Sam said. "Not letting the branches fling back."
"Well, maybe if you weren't walking right behind me," Hayley said. "Why do we need water anyway? We drank before we set out."
"We need to drink from every stream I can find," I said. "As I've said, dehydration is the biggest risk we face out here."
"Okay," Corey said. "But could you find a path without mud and thorns?"
"I'll make sure the next one's paved."
Daniel leaned toward me as we walked. "I bet if we bolted, we could lose them in ten seconds."
"Don't tempt me," I muttered.
He grinned and put out his hand to help me over a muddy patch. I crossed, then called back a warning to the others. Daniel seconded the warning and pointed out the mud. Hayley still slid and fell.