I turned.
"You don't believe me, do you?" he said. "About the dosing."
"No, I do."
He grinned that mesmerizing grin and when I didn't move, his fingers wrapped around my elbow and he tugged me behind the tree. Before I knew it, my back was against the trunk, and he was in front of me, lips coming down to mine.
I sidestepped fast. "No."
His lips quirked in a smile. "What? You want dinner and a movie first now?"
"You think that's funny?"
The smile vanished. "Course not. I just--"
"Think we should be able to jump back to where we were, because maybe I was dosed and maybe we went a little further and a lot faster than I like, but it's still where I wanted to go. That's what you think happened, isn't it? I wanted it--I just couldn't admit it."
He stepped back and ran his hands through his hair, and I knew that's exactly what he thought. But he said, "I don't know what happened."
"Neither do I. That's my point. I have no idea how much of it was me, and how much of it was the drug."
He stepped in front of me again, hands sliding around my waist. "Let's find out, then."
I backed out of his grasp. "You aren't getting this, are you?"
"No, Maya, I'm not."
"Then I think you should leave."
He sighed. "Now what did I do?"
"Nothing. I just ... I need you to back off." I softened my tone. "I'll talk to you at school tomorrow, okay?"
"But I'm here now."
"What? Are you on a schedule?"
"Course not." He stepped toward me. "I like you, Maya."
"You keep saying that."
"And it's a problem? I don't get this. Do you expect me to just wait until you figure things out?"
"No. I expect that if you're interested enough, you'll wait; and if you aren't, you won't. Your choice."
"And it doesn't matter to you one way or the other."
"I never said--"
He waved off my protest, and strode into the forest. The crackle of twigs continued until his footsteps receded into silence.
I stood there, staring after him long after he'd gone. Finally Kenjii came over and nudged my hand. I patted her head and walked back toward the house.
"Maya?" Mom called as she stepped onto the porch and looked around. "Is Rafael still here?"
I shook my head. She squinted, trying to see my expression, but I stayed in the shadow of Fitz's tree.
"You should come in and have some breakfast," she said.