I wasn’t horrified and disgusted. What I saw wasn’t some guy puking and grotesquely contorting. I saw Derek, in unbelievable agony and scared out of his mind.
It took only that first awful spasm to chase away the last of my anger. There would be time for that later. Instead, I knelt beside him, rubbing his shoulders, telling him he’d be okay, he was doing fine, just keep going.
Finally, the retching stopped and he crouched there, head down, hair hanging, hiding his face, his body covered in short, black hair, his shoulder muscles hunched, arms and legs straight, clawlike fingers half buried in the earth. He panted, drawing deep, ragged breaths.
“You’re getting there,” I said. “It’s coming faster this time. ” True or not, it didn’t matter, only that he accepted it, nodding and relaxing a little.
Another spasm hit. His body convulsed in wave after wave. His legs and arms kept changing, thinning and shortening, his hands and feet doing the same. The hair on his head retracted as the hair on his body lengthened from stubble to thick fur. As for his face, I knew that was Changing too, but he’d averted it.
His body continued spasming until he had to stop again, heaving as he struggled for breath. I rubbed his back and he leaned against me. I could feel his muscles trembling, like he could barely hold himself up on all fours. I moved closer, letting him rest against me, my head on his shoulder, feeling his heart beating hard and fast as his shudders gradually slowed.
“You’re almost there. Keep going. You’re going to finish this time. Just-”
He tensed. Then his back flew up, knocking me aside. His body went rigid, head still down, back lifting higher and higher, like someone was pulling it up, head sinking lower still, black fur gleaming in the moonlight.
Bones crackled. Derek gave a deep moan that made me move closer again, rubbing his back, telling him it would be okay. Then, with a final shudder, it was. He lifted his head, turned to look at me, and he was a wolf.
Twenty
THE LAST TIME DEREK had tried to Change, he’d made me promise to go someplace safe as soon as he seemed close to finishing. When I saw that wolf in front of me, a lead weight dropped in my gut telling me I should have taken his advice. But as soon as his eyes met mine, the dread evaporated. I might be looking at a massive black wolf, but in those green eyes, I still saw Derek.
He tried to take a step, but his legs slid out and he hit the ground with an earthshaking thud. I scrambled over to him as he lay there, eyes closed, flank heaving, tongue lolling.
“Are you okay?”
His eyes opened and he gave an awkward jerk of his muzzle, as if he was trying to nod, then his pupils rolled up and his eyes closed again.
He was fine, just exhausted, like the last time when he’d been too tired even to dress before he fell asleep. I stood and started for the path, wanting to leave him in peace. I made it two steps before he snorted. I turned to see him lying on his belly, ready to jump up. He jerked his muzzle, telling me to come back.
“I thought you’d want to be-”
He cut me off with a snort. It was hard for a wolf to scowl, but he managed a good glower.
I took the switchblade from my jacket pocket. “I’ll be fine. I’m armed. ”
A snort. I don’t care. A head jerk. Get back here.
When I hesitated, he growled.
“Well, you’ve got the growling part down pat already. Must be all those years of practice. ”
He began to rise, legs wobbly.
“All right, I’m coming back. I just didn’t want to be in your way. ”
A grunt. You’re not. Or that’s what I hoped he meant.
“You can understand me, can’t you?” I said as I returned to sit on his discarded sweatshirt. “You know what I’m saying. ”
He tried to nod, then snarled at the awkwardness of it.
“Not easy when you can’t talk, is it?” I grinned. “Well, not easy for you. I could get used to it. ”
He grumbled, but I could see relief in his eyes, like he was glad to see me smile.
“So I was right, wasn’t I? It’s still you, even in wolf form. ”
He grunted.
“No sudden uncontrollable urges to go kill something?”
He rolled his eyes.
“Hey, you’re the one who was worried. ” I paused. “And I don’t smell like dinner, right?”
I got a real look for that one.
“Just covering all the bases. ”
He gave a rumbling growl, like a chuckle, and settled in, lowering his head to his front paws, gaze on me. I tried to get comfortable, but the ground was ice-cold through his sweatshirt, and I was wearing only my new pajamas, a light jacket, and sneakers.
Seeing me shivering, he stretched a front leg toward the sweatshirt, pawing the edge and snarling when he realized he couldn’t grab it.
“The lack of opposable thumbs is going to take some getting used to, huh?”
He motioned me closer with his muzzle. When I pretended not to understand, he twisted and gingerly took the hem of the sweatshirt between his teeth, lips curled in disgust as he tugged it.
“Okay, okay, I’m just trying not to crowd you. ”
That wasn’t the only reason I was uncomfortable getting too cozy with him now, but he just grunted, again seeming to say it was fine. I moved over beside him. He shifted, his torso making a partial wind block, the body heat from the Change still blasting like a furnace.
He grunted.
“Yes, that’s better. Thanks. Now get some rest. ”
I had no idea what would happen now. I doubted Derek did either. He’d been focused on getting through the Change. What I did know was that this was only half the process. He had to Change back, and he’d need time and rest for that.
And how would it happen? Did he have to wait until his body was ready, like he did with the Change to wolf? How long would that be? Hours? Days?
Feeling his gaze on me, I forced a smile and pushed back my worries. It would be okay. He could Change. That was the important thing.
When I relaxed, he shifted closer, fur brushing my hand. I tentatively touched it, feeling the coarse top layer and soft undercoat. He leaned against my hand, as if to say it was okay, and I buried my fingers in his fur, his skin so hot from the Change it was like putting my numb hands on a radiator. My cool fingers must have felt just as good, because he closed his eyes and shifted until I was leaning on him. Within minutes, he was asleep.
I closed my eyes, meaning to rest for just a moment, but the next thing I knew, I was waking up, curled on my side, using Derek as a pillow. I jumped. He looked over at me.
“S-sorry, I didn’t mean-”
He cut me short with a growl, telling me off for apologizing, then bumped my leg, knocking me back onto his side. I lay there a moment, enjoying the warmth. He snarled a yawn, flashing canines as long as my thumb.
Finally, I sat up. “So, I suppose you should do something wolfie. Hunt, maybe?”
A grunt, the tone saying no.