“Tired, yes. Hungry, a bit. Pissed off? No. ” I looked up at him. “Seriously. I’m not. ”
“You’ve been really quiet. ”
I laughed. “I’m normally really quiet. But these last couple of weeks have not been normal. ”
“I know you don’t always say a lot, you’ve just been…” He shrugged. “I thought you were mad. ” He shoved his hands into his pockets. “About that—being mad. You were right the other night, after what happened in that alley. I was mad at myself. It just took me a while to calm down enough to figure that out. ”
I nodded.
“What I did, when we lived here, hurting that kid. I didn’t think it could ever happen again. I’ve been through it so many times, thinking of what went wrong and what I’d do if I ever got into that situation again, all the coping strategies Dr. Gill taught me. ”
“Dr. Gill?”
“Yeah, I know. She creeped me out even before we knew about the Edison Group. But she was a real shrink, and she did try to help. It was in their best interests to teach me to control my temper. So I was sure, if anything like that ever happened again, there was no question that I’d handle it better. And what happened? Almost the exact same scenario…and I did the exact same thing. ”
“You stopped yourself before you threw her into the wall. ”
“No, you stopped me. If you hadn’t yelled, I would have done it. All those strategies. All that mental rehearsal. And when it happened, I never considered doing anything different. I couldn’t. My brain just shut down. ”
“But it didn’t take much to turn it back on again. ”
He shrugged.
“That’s got to be progress, right?”
“I suppose so,” he said, but he didn’t sound convinced.
At the truck stop, our plan was to stow away in a transport. We sat in the restaurant, nursing sodas while Derek listened to the conversations around us, and picked out truckers heading our way.
The first truck was parked up front, making it impossible to sneak on without being seen. The second time, the trailer had a huge padlock on it, too big for Derek to break. The third time, as the saying goes, was the charm.
We’d followed the driver to his vehicle, which turned out to be a cube van. After he got into the cab, we snuck in the back.
The guy ran some kind of construction business. The van smelled of wood chips and oil and was full of tools, ropes, ladders, and tarps. When the truck reached the highway and the road noise was loud enough to drown us out, Derek took the tarps and made a bed on the floor.
“You need sleep,” he said. “They stink but…”
“They’re softer than cardboard. Thanks. ”
He handed me half an energy bar that he must have been saving.
“No, keep it,” I said.
“You’ll sleep better if your stomach isn’t growling. And don’t say it isn’t. I can hear it. ”
I accepted the bar.
“And take this. ” He stripped off his sweatshirt. “Again, it might not smell great, but it’s warm. ”
“You need—”
“I don’t. I’ve still got a touch of fever from last night. ”
I took the sweatshirt. “It’s okay, Derek. I’m not mad. ”
“I know. ”
I settled onto the tarp bed and pulled the sweatshirt over me, like a blanket. Then I ate the rest of the energy bar.
When I finished, Derek said, “You can’t sleep with your eyes open, Chloe. ”
“I don’t want to drift off, in case anything happens. ”
“I’m here. Go to sleep. ”
I closed my eyes.
I woke when the truck slowed. Derek was at the back, opening the door to peek out.
“Is this our stop?” I asked.
“We should be far enough. We aren’t in a town, though. It’s another truck stop. ”
“A pee break after that mega-coffee he bought. ”
“Yeah. ” He opened the door farther for a better look. “I’d rather be in a town…. ”
“But he might not stop at one. We should get out while we can. ”
Derek nodded and closed the door. The truck pulled into a spot and stopped.
“Get under a tarp,” Derek whispered, “in case he checks the back. ”
A minute later, the rear door squealed open. I held my breath. The cube van wasn’t that big, and if the driver climbed inside to get something, he’d probably step on us. But he stayed at the tailgate. Tools clattered, like he was getting one from a box. Then the noise stopped. I tensed.
“I did forget the new vise grips,” the man muttered. “Great. ”
The door shut with a bang. When I started pulling off the tarp, Derek whispered, “Wait. He’s still walking away. ”
A minute passed as he listened, then he said, “Okay. ”
I got up and pushed the tarps back where we’d found them as Derek peeked outside again.
“Trees to our left,” he said. “We’ll head through there, then circle and grab something to drink from the restaurant before we head out. ”
“And use the bathroom. ”
“Yeah. Follow me. ”
We slipped out of the van and darted to the trees. Running behind Derek was worse than running behind Tori—with his long legs he barely needed to walk fast before the gap between us widened.
When he stopped short and spun to face me, I expected a scowl and an order to keep up, but his lips formed a curse. Running footfalls sounded behind me. I was about to break into a sprint when a hand clamped down on my shoulder.
Derek started to charge. I saw his expression, that telltale curl of his lip, and I wildly gestured for him to stop. He did, skidding to a halt, but his gaze stayed fixed over my head, watching my captor.
“I thought I’d picked up a passenger or two,” said a man’s voice.
He turned me around. It was the driver of the van. He was middle-aged with a gray ponytail and a craggy face.
“W-we didn’t take anything,” I said. “I’m sorry. We just needed a ride. ”
“Jesus,” he said, shifting me into the sun for a better look. “How old are you?”