Luckily, I have some resources close by these days to help me. Sarah is watching TV with her hand in a big bag of Doritos when I call round there. I fill her in on my crisis and she springs into action.
“Italian,” she says. “Everyone likes Italian.”
I hope she’s right.
I’m pleased to have a companion as I venture out to the local shop. We pick the best ingredients we can muster and she talks me through the best way to prepare them.
“My grandma was married to an Italian,” she says.
“You’re part Italian?”
She shakes her head. “No, that was her first marriage. She had four.”
I laugh. “Go Sarah’s grandma.”
“Sour old bitch.” She giggles. “But she could cook.”
I only hope Grandma’s special recipe works a treat for me this evening.
I’m choosing what to wear when a familiar but unfamiliar ping sounds on my mobile. My fingers are shaking when I call it up.
Fuck.
My heart pounds even at the sight of his name. It’s in email form, but it’s there.
Phoenix Burning sent you a personal message. Reactivate your account?
How could I not?
A couple of clicks and I’m back in.
I’m grinning as I fire a message back to him.
So much for deleting my account. I played fair.
He replies in a beat.
Still want to meet the monster?
It makes me laugh out loud.
Always, I type back. I hope he bites.
I wait for another ping. It doesn’t take long.
You will be ready for me later. You will make sure the bottom door is unlocked.
I reply in a flash.
Is this before or after dinner? I’ve got to time the vegetables.
I hope he knows I’m joking.
Eight. Be ready.
So much for humour, but that doesn’t matter.
I’ll be ready, I say.
And I will be.PhoenixI almost forget about the shit with Jake as I enjoy the afternoon. It’s another glorious day with Cam in the pool, and even Serena joins us for a swim.
It would be perfect, if only Abigail was with us.
All in good time, so they say.
I’m strangely excited to see what she cooks. Thrilled at the prospect of a regular date like regular people.
Even if I do deviate from the chivalry to pound her dirty little asshole later.
I wear a black shirt over tight jeans. Make sure my hair is as just so as it ever gets. I’m no pink-shirted Jack, but I’ll do.
I’m ready to go just as soon as Cam settles off to sleep, but this evening, typically, he wants every story in the book.
He’s even willing to ask for it.
There’s no way I’d ever be able to say no to that.
“You look great,” Serena says as I finally get back downstairs. “Go get your girl.”
“You’ll like her,” I tell her. “I can’t wait to introduce you.”
“Just as long as she makes you happy.”
I love my little sister today as much as I’ve ever loved her in my life. She’s a solid rock in our river. An anchor through whatever shitty storms life throws our way.
I’ll never be able to thank her enough for what she’s done for Cam and me. I just hope she knows it.
I feel a pang of regret for Jake as I step out to my truck.
It’s so easy to forget these days that once upon a time it was the three of us against the world. It’s easy to forget how he was the one who set us up in business in the first place and took care of me as well as Serena just as soon as he was old enough.
Easy to forget all the shit he shouldered when we were too young to deal with any of it.
I send him a text message before I pull away. One final olive branch before I get my ass down to the lawyer in the morning.
Sort your life out, Jake. We’re still your fucking family. Put the money back, stop drinking and we’ll talk properly when you’re sober.
He can keep the picture of Mariana.
It’s the least I can do, and deep down I know it.
Serena’s question is a valid one.
How the fuck did it come to all this?
The answer is the same as it’s always been. Just as I said it last night.
Mariana.
That’s how the fuck it came to all this.
Serena could never see it, the appeal that one crazy woman had for two brothers. She didn’t understand the magic in the madness, the way that woman’s soul could shred you to pieces and keep you coming back for more.
I push all that aside for now.
I stop at the petrol station for a big bar of chocolate and grab some flowers while I’m at it.
And then I text my girlfriend, since that’s really what she is now.
Soon.AbigailSoon
That’s what the message says.
I can’t keep up with him. Pinging me here there and everywhere.
I laugh out loud when the knock comes at the door. His soon was quite a lot sooner than I expected.