University.
I hated the word right now.
“Still, that’s quite a gift,” Dad said, and Mum put her arm through his. “That’s exceptionally generous, Miles.”
He shrugged again. “A gift I’m extremely happy to give,” he said, and squeezed my arm, only this squeeze was different to everything else this weekend. Totally different.
This squeeze was old Miles saying goodbye to sweet little Faith after a Sunday homework session.
“I’ll be seeing you at work tomorrow,” he said to me, and I nodded.
“Thanks, Miles. I’ll see you at work tomorrow.”
It sounded so stilted. So weird. Both of us sounded so weird.
And with that he was gone, his hand raised in farewell to both my parents as though it was nothing, and they didn’t stop him, both of them looking completely slammed with shock as I let out another squeal of excitement.
But this excitement was for more than the car. This excitement was for everything. So much of everything I was ready to burst.
Until Dad cleared his throat that is, and pointed at the front door, brows looking heavy.
“Let’s get inside and discuss this more thoroughly,” he said, and Mum nodded too.Chapter TwentyMilesI knew Colin would be visiting me before traditional office opening hours on Monday morning. He came right on through to my office just before eight, and gave my door a token rap before heading on in. I was expecting it. I smiled up at him from the desk without even a hint of surprise.
The look on his face was certainly one of query.
“Are you absolutely sure?” he asked, both of us knowing exactly what the topic was.
I gave him a simple nod. “She’s a great girl, doing a fantastic job here. I wanted to reward her.”
“I’m glad she’s doing well,” he said. “But seriously, Miles, that’s an incredibly generous gift. I really don’t think it can possibly be warranted.”
I shook my head as simply as I’d nodded. “It’s not over generous,” I told him. “She’s earned it.”
I understood his confusion. I’d been subject to my own. My impulse to search for the vehicle in the first place had hit me hard in the aftermath of the birthday party. My desire to present her with something so valuable was a tide in a very turbulent storm, but a valid one. I’d questioned my own sense in such a decision.
Luckily, from the very moment we’d set off for that car dealership, I’d known I’d made the right move. There would never be even a scrap of regret for my purchase, or the altercations from it. One little squeal of her excitement had made ample reward for my generosity.
The reactions of that girl were already quite an addictive scent on the air, calling me on. The pay off in seeing just the tiniest sliver of her excitement was extraordinary. I’d become a Faith Martin happiness junkie in just one tiny weekend.
Colin paced the room with his hands behind his head, trying to digest my assurances.
“I wasn’t going to get her a car,” he said. “She’s learning to drive, but with university coming, it didn’t seem a sensible option to let her get on the road.”
I didn’t comment on that. It not being sensible for her to drive made no sense to me.
He met my stare and tried to expand on his logic.
“Faith’s a very, very young eighteen,” he told me, as though he was sharing some insider truth. “It’s hard to keep her calmly in her teenage bubble. There’s always this constant risk of her getting herself into trouble.” He paused. “I don’t want her getting too caught up in the idea of being some independent grown up, driving herself all around the place with some semblance of freedom before she knows how to handle it responsibly. She’s still a girl playing at being mature, and she’s not. She’s nothing like mature.”
My eyebrows grew heavy as I kept up the stare, my jaw feeling surprisingly tight as I digested the sentiment behind his words.
“She’s a smart, driven young woman,” I countered. “I’m sure she is very responsible.”
The shake of his head was dramatic. “Faith is not a woman,” he told me, and there was a bark in his voice I hadn’t heard for many years. “She’s still a girl, with girlish dreams, who needs to grow up properly before she even tries to be an adult. Having a car will only give her extra temptation to spread her wings too soon.”
I forced myself to relax in my seat like this was just a regular conversation, but in reality I was an utter churn of sensations all at once. I could barely meet his eyes once I heard the passion in his voice. A defensive father trying to protect his little girl’s innocence.
Innocence I’d taken.
Innocence I’d claimed hard and torn out like a filthy man possessed.
Innocence I was already dreaming of ploughing away harder.