But I couldn’t.
I couldn’t tell him about anything. Not on the phone without being absolutely certain he was on my side.
“What you doing?” he asked, as though reading into my silence.
“Trying to work out a plan forward,” I said, which wasn’t a lie.
“Hope you can hurry,” he grunted, “because I’m not sure how long I’m going to be able to hold back from slamming one into your girl up here.”
I rested my head back against the headrest. “As long as possible. Hold back as long as possible. Some crops and whips are less intensive than others, please make sure you familiarise yourself with them.”
“Will do,” he said. “I’ll make sure she can cope with what I’m dishing out to her.”
I couldn’t hold back the pang of wanting her, not for another heartbeat.
“If you can get close to her please do,” I told him. “Tell her I’m thinking of her, that I’m coming for her, that I’ll be there as soon as I can be.”
“Alright,” he said. “Anything else you want me to tell her if I get a safe whisper in there?”
He was waiting for it. I know he was.
My tongue was tied at the thought, still caught up with so many years of coldness. So many years of disbelief that the truth in the affection really ever existed.
He held out for a few seconds of silence before the flush of a toilet sounded out.
“Shit, Bran. I gotta go. They’ll be waiting for me. I’m up with her in just a few hours. The notification’s going out any minute now.”
“Alright,” I said. “Be careful. Be careful with her too. Be careful of every fucking thing. It’s all in your hands up there.”
“I will, ” he whispered. “I know what’s at stake.”
And that’s when I felt it. The knot of my tongue unravel, just enough to blurt those fateful fucking words over the phone line.
“Tell her I love her,” I said.Chapter EighteenPaigeI couldn’t believe it. It felt so weird and alien, the thought of spending my sixty days going forward with the brother of the man I’d given my heart to.
I’d been expecting security guys and total strangers – random encounters like Rebecca had been facing – not coming up against a man I’d seen down south.
“It really is fucking weird,” Rebecca said, as we digested the introduction. “I mean, I’ve seen him before. He was definitely down there, a part of the general operation. Why’s he coming up here without his brother? He must have been sent by him. He must have been ordered up here.”
“I don’t know,” I said, and there was a whole pang of fresh pain amongst the confusion. “It means for sure that Brandon sent me up here without giving a shit though, right? I mean there’s no way he can have given a shit, not in the slightest. Not if he’s sending his brother up to take his place.”
Her shrug spoke volumes. It was easy. Distant. Not surprised in the slightest.
“Sorry, Paige. Sorry he’s really that much of an uncaring prick.”
I rolled onto my side and faced the wall, trying to come to terms with the inevitable.
In just a short while I’d be used and abused on camera by Brandon Grant’s brother. His hands would be all over me, hurting me. His words would be mine to obey without question.
Maybe Brandon would be watching?
Maybe Brandon would be watching and truly wouldn’t give a shit about his brother fucking whichever hole of mine he fancied on screen?
Maybe I shouldn’t give a shit either.
“Hopefully he’ll be better than the security assholes,” Rebecca said, and I nodded.
“Hopefully he’ll have some of his brother’s experience.”
“Fingers crossed,” she said, and showed me them. “It would make the rest of our time here a whole load more fucking bearable.”
We could hope.
When the door went again it was one of the security team. It was me he came for, marching right on over and taking hold of my elbow to lift me to my feet.
I pulled away on instinct, flashing him a glare as he pointed to the doorway.
“Just tell me where to go,” I said, and he laughed at me.
“Feisty little fucker,” he said. “I’ll fucking tell you to get down on your knees and suck my dick if you’re not careful.”
I flashed Rebecca a look before I headed on out of there and mouthed see you later. She rolled her eyes at the back of the guy taking me out of there, clearly familiar with his bullshit.
He didn’t take hold of my arm again in the corridor. I kept up with him as he headed through several doors and up some stairs, happily slipping right by him as he opened the door to a shower room and pointed inside.
“Clean up for on screen,” he said, and I nodded, finding myself unwilling to say sir.