That squicky bastard of a feeling got me again, in the gut this time. The one I hated, that made no sense to me, that was all about Elaine fucking Constantine.
I forced myself through it and yanked her up to her feet, slamming her into the counter like a piece of meat ready for the slaughter. Only that’s when she caught my breath again, that’s when I finally saw the streaks of tears down her pretty cheeks and realized what they were for.
The blood was crusty on her thighs, cuts still raw from where she’d butchered herself. I should’ve loved it, but I didn’t.
Should’ve, should’ve, should’ve.
The thought of anyone touching her flesh that wasn’t me, even herself, was enough to slam me with rage.
“What the fuck is this?” I barked at her. “What the fuck do you think you were doing?”
This time there wasn’t even a spark of spite in her as she stared up at me. She was a broken little girl, lost to every hurt and fear in the world.
I bent down to retrieve the knife from the floor. She’d picked the best, clearly determined for the cleanest slices. She flinched as I slammed it down onto the counter.
“Just give me some fucking alcohol and I won’t need to,” she told me.
She was shaking, clearly wallowing in her own shit and unable to get a grip of it. There they were, peeping through the surface – those intoxicating little butterfly secrets.
“Seemingly I’ll need to lock up the essential kitchen basics from you and leave you with baby cutlery, won’t I? Damaged little excuse for a bitch.”
Her eyes got their venom back at that point. Her jaw tightened.
“Fuck you, Morelli! You have no fucking idea how damaged I am. Go fuck yourself!”
“No, I don’t,” I said. “But I’ll find out. Those filthy little secrets inside you will be mine for the taking, Elaine. I can’t wait to see just how damaged you really are.”
“Don’t count on it,” she spat. “I hate you way too fucking much to tell you any fucking thing. You won’t know shit about me!”
She tried to pull away, but I wouldn’t let her. I pressed up against her with my hands either side of the counter top. She was pinned. Contained. Mine.
I laughed in her face. “Clearly, you don’t hate me nearly so much as you hate your own family, sweetheart. Them or the Power Brothers it seems. You must have a secret dirty liking for the Morellis, little girl, seeing how you set the Power Brothers up for my crime.”
Her stare was piercing and up close.
“I don’t know what the fuck you’re talking about, asshole.”
She was lying. We both knew it. As always, the little bitch was lying.
“It seems you wrote a damning little letter, didn’t you?” I whispered with spite. “A scrawled little note to tell the world you’d been taken by Elliot Ree from the Power Brothers.”
She tried to lie some more. “I just wanted them to take some shit for all the hell they put me through. I just wanted them to suffer!”
I gave her an evil smile. “Oh, dolly, really? You hate the Power Brothers more than the Morellis? What a pathetic little slut you are.”
My dolly didn’t try to lie again. She just stared, hating me.
I couldn’t hold back my own hate, leaning in even closer to taunt her with my spite.
“I’d even dare to say you hate your own family more than the Morellis, little bitch, don’t you? Maybe you aren’t worthy of the Constantine name.”
“I’m damn well worthy of the fucking Constantine name,” she snarled at me, and then the bitch found a flare of life in the depths of her.
She twisted between my arms like a snake, scrabbling against the counter to reach for the blade, and then she grabbed it. The little bitch grabbed it and let out a screech as she plunged it straight through my hand.
“FUCK YOU, MORELLI! FUCK YOU!”
That’s when she should have run like a crazy thing and tried to get the fuck out of there. She tried to, really she did. She made to run, but I was still fixing her tight.
I was smiling. Smirking. Loving just how horrified she was when she saw I didn’t flinch in the slightest. My hand was bound to the wood of the counter, and I didn’t even let out a curse.
Elaine was so shocked that she drained white when I pulled the blade free of my hand and cast it straight back onto the counter.
“What the fuck?!” she spat. “What the fuck is wrong with you? I just sliced right through your fucking hand, Lucian! Are you out of your head?”
My smirk stayed strong. My laugh was every bit as evil as she’d ever known.
As it turns out, Elaine Constantine wasn’t the only one holding on to deep secrets. I’d been holding on plenty tight to my own.