“It’s the job,” she says, nodding to herself. “It probably makes him that way.”
“What do you mean?”
She sits up a little bit. “You don’t act like this at your normal job, do you?”
I laugh a little. “I didn’t realize I was being so weird.”
She grins. “I mean, this comfortable. Just sitting here, chatting. You’re not like that at work.”
I nod a little. “Yeah, you’re right.”
“We all have masks we wear in all different situations. Whatever the situation calls for, that’s what we become.”
“So his job makes him an asshole?”
She claps her hands. “Exactly!”
I sigh. “That doesn’t make me feel better.”
“But it should. When he’s working, he’s being a doctor. The guy that kicked you out isn’t the same guy that you’re seeing. He didn’t mean anything personal by it. He was just doing his job.”
I nod a little bit. I get her point. I’m not the same in every single interaction. Sometimes I do things I don’t want to do, act in ways I otherwise wouldn’t, because I’m put in a situation where I have to.
I do it all the time at work. I draw things I don’t feel like drawing because that’s my job. I can see how it would be the same for Aiden.
He feels like he has to wear this armor at work. He becomes a doctor and wraps himself in layers of anger. He turns into an asshole.
That guy is Dr. Hill. That guy isn’t my Daddy.
I sigh a little bit. “I think I owe him an apology.”
She grins at me. “Did you yell at him?”
“Pretty much.”
“Listen, honey, you don’t have forever. If you found a good man that can take care of you and love you, and you love him… it’s important you don’t let that pass you by. Especially if he makes you happy.”
“You’re right,” I say, and stand. “I should go find him.”
“Good luck.”
I kiss her cheek and leave the room.
As I walk through the halls, searching for Aiden, I know I don’t want to apologize. There’s no part of me that wants to say sorry. He was an asshole and he deserved to get yelled at.
But maybe, just maybe, he really was trying to save my grandmother’s life. Maybe I really was in the way.
After all, he says I’m a distraction.
I groan to myself.
This isn’t my fault. I can’t blame myself for him being a jerk to me.
But then again, part of it is my fault. I’m the one that refused to leave right away. I was panicking, freaking out a little bit. He had to get rid of me if he was going to do what he had to do.
I’m a distraction for him. The thought makes me smile a little bit.
He was waiting for my grandmother to wake up, just because he wanted to explain what happened to her. That’s not something a real asshole would do.
I smile even more. Shit.
I really am going to have to apologize.14AidenI’m half asleep when there’s a knock at my office door.
I hate staying up all night. I can pull it off every once in a while, but I’m getting older. I need sleep if I’m going to stay sharp.
I had to be there when Dot woke up, though. I knew she was going to be disoriented, confused, upset. I wanted to be there to explain what happened, maybe provide a little comfort if I could.
Here’s the thing about that. I’d do the same for any patient. I’ve done it before, and I’ll do it again. It’s not really necessary, I could have a nurse explain it all, but there’s something about waking up and seeing a doctor right there, ready to talk to you.
It’s surprising what that can do for people. Just knowing someone gives a shit enough to wait around in their room like that. It gives them confidence, helps them want to actually fight their goddamn illness.
A lot of times, they need that fight.
People always look down on the placebo effect. They say it’s fake, it’s not real. When you give a patient a sugar pill and tell them it’ll cure them, and they do get better, that’s real. That really happens, even if it’s not caused by the pill.
As a doctor, I use whatever I can to heal people. If being there when they wake up is going to give them a strong sense of healing, then I’ll do it.
It’s what I have to do. It’s who I am.
I sigh and get up. “Coming,” I call out, and walk over to the door. It’s locked, since I thought I might get some sleep in.
I know that’s not going to happen anytime soon.
Ruby looks up at me as I pull the door open. She’s smiling a little, like she’s uncomfortable. “Hey,” she says.
“Hey, yourself,” I answer.
“Mind if I come in?”
“Please.” I step aside and she enters. I lock the office door behind her after I close it.