I stared at it all and for a brief moment, I wanted to light it all on fire.
But instead, I put on a sports bra, a pair of panties, a gray tank top, and a pair of yoga pants. I took a deep breath and stepped out into the hall.
I checked downstairs first, but he wasn’t there. I looked in the kitchen, yelled into the basement, and even looked in the extra rooms upstairs. Finally, I climbed the steps up to the roof deck, and found him leaning forward on the railing, looking out at the city. There was a large tree to our right that cast a long shadow over the deck, and it felt like we were all alone up there above all the other houses.
“Hey,” I said.
He looked back at me. “You okay?”
I shrugged. “Not really.”
He gestured for me to join him. I hesitated, then walked over and leaned against the metal railing. It was cool against my skin and a nice, light breeze blew back my hair, still wet from the shower.
We were quiet for a while. I didn’t speak and he just glanced at me, but didn’t push anything.
Finally though, he broke the silence.
“What happened to your mom?” he asked.
I stared down at the street below. Cars were parked in even lines, and a dad with his little girl walked down the shady street, crossing to the opposite sidewalk.
“She got hit by a stray bullet when I was ten,” I said. “Drive by shooting. They were aiming for my dad. They were out sitting on their front porch and I guess they didn’t care if mom died in the gunfire too.”
“Shit,” he said. “I’m sorry.”
“Yeah,” I said. “That’s why he left the Club. He hated himself for it and hated Uncle Mathis. We were alone after that and things got bad for a while.”
“I know what you mean,” he said.
I snorted. “I doubt it.”
“My mom died when I was eight. My dad died of an overdose two years later.”
I sucked in a deep breath and frowned at him. “Is that true?”
He nodded. “My dad was always an addict. But he got his shit together when he married my mom. But she got cancer and died, and I guess he just… slipped back into old habits. Killed him pretty fast.”
“I’m sorry.”
He shrugged. “My grandmother raised me. She was good but she was older you know? She was tired. Couldn’t watch me all the time. So I got in a lot of trouble, met Dante, tore the streets up. The rest, well, you know how it goes. Here I am now, standing on this roof with you.”
“I’m sorry you lost your parents,” I said. “But it doesn’t help bring back my father.”
“I’m going to fix that,” he said, looking at me with a surprising anger. He moved closer to me, and I took a step back. I ran into the railing and he loomed above me, staring down into my eyes. “I won’t let them hurt your dad. I won’t let them take away another one of your parents.”
I grabbed onto the railing behind me, digging my fingers into the metal, staring into his deep blue eyes.
“I wouldn’t be in this situation if it weren’t for you,” I said.
“Yeah, you’re right,” he said. “But it was chance that you were in that bodega. It was chance that my boys shot you. And it was bad fucking luck that your uncle reacted this way.”
I shook my head and felt a little pain in my shoulder. It’d been not much more than a dull throb lately, and I could almost forget about it.
But it was hard to forget the rest, being locked in that room, being taken by this monster.
He reached up and touched my cheek. I sucked in a little breath, and his fingers were rough. It surprised me, he always seemed so careful and thoughtful with the way he moved, but his hands felt like he worked hard with them,
“I’m sorry you ended up here,” he said, his voice low and soft. “But I keep saying I’ll take care of you, and I mean it, little Colleen.”
“Why are you being nice to me?” I asked. “You could just keep me locked in the basement.”
“That’s not what I want.” His eyes looked pained as he tilted his head. “I want to make all this right. You hear me, Colleen? What happened to you was fucked up, and I’m only making it worse. But I want to make it all right.”
“I don’t think you can,” I said.
He leaned closer, his lips close to mine, as they brushed across my cheek.
“I can do a lot of things,” he whispered in my ear. “I think you’d be surprised.”
I let out a little gasp as his right hand slid behind my back and pulled me against his body. I blinked staring into his eyes, heart racing. I should push him away, scream for help, run and hide.