Clearing my throat, I said, “Nowhere special.”
I didn’t have to look at Jack to know he was giving me a frown.
“Are you going to let her see you this time?” he asked.
Turning, I shot him a dirty look. “Don’t, Jack.”
He held up his hands in defense. “I’m only saying, it’s been five years, Nolan. Don’t you think you’ve tortured yourself enough with this? If she hasn’t remembered by now, do you honestly think she will?”
I closed my eyes and slowly let out a breath. “I wish I had never told you.”
He grunted. “I’m sure you do, but you did. Have you talked to Linnzi’s parents?”
“Yes,” was all I said.
“She’s still in France?”
This time all I gave him was a nod.
Jack knew me well enough to let it stop there.
“When do you leave?” he asked on a sigh.
“Tomorrow morning.”
“You need me to watch Duke?”
I shook my head. “No, Jessica and Mike are going to stay at my place and watch him.”
Duke was my five-month-old black lab I had somehow become the owner of when Jessica, who was another test pilot’s wife, begged me to take him after she had rescued an entire litter of abandoned lab puppies. I had to admit, Duke filled the emptiness of the large house I lived in off base. It was nice to come home and have someone greet me.
“They owe me one since it was Mike’s wife I got the damn dog from.”
Jack laughed as I removed my G-suit and harness. Once I got everything back into my locker, I grabbed my wallet and sunglasses.
We headed down the hall and to the debriefing room to talk about the test flight I had finished. Before we walked into the room, Jack stopped me.
My eyes met his, and I could see the concern in them.
“I’m only saying this because you’re like a brother to me, Nolan.”
I felt my jaw muscles twitch as I clenched my jaw.
“Maybe it’s time you let her go.”
My free hand fisted, and I had to force myself to let my entire body relax. With a short and quick shake of my head, I replied, “Never.”
He looked away and slowly shook his head.
Then, as if I needed to say it one more time to confirm it to myself, I turned, entered the room and whispered, “Never.”Paris, France — Four days laterI stood on the cobble street and looked at the flat Linnzi had been living in for the last four-and-a-half years. In college she had studied French art and had almost taken an internship at the Musée d’Orsay in Paris, but ultimately turned it down. She had also majored in French, so she spoke the language flawlessly. According to Linnzi, she had other dreams, and they included me and starting a family. The only two things she ever dreamed of. Art was her passion, but I was the love of her life. Or at least, I had been.
When she appeared on the small stoop, I took a step back. My heart once again did that familiar jolt in my chest anytime I saw her. For a moment, I closed my eyes in an attempt to ease the pain, but it didn’t work.
Opening my eyes once more, I took her in. Her light brown hair was pulled up into a ponytail, and she had very little makeup on. That wasn’t anything new. Even Linnzi before the accident wasn’t much of a showboat in the makeup department. She had always said mascara and lipstick were the only two items she needed. In my opinion, she didn’t even need that—she was that gorgeous. I watched her move forward, dressed in a light blue dress with black flats. God, she looked beautiful. It had been three months since I had seen her last. I tried to come to Paris as often as I was able to. The need to see her, to see how she was doing, to see if she had met anyone, was too strong for me to resist. Amy and Steven, Linnzi’s parents, had always kept me up to date on everything, but I still needed to see her with my own eyes. Maybe a small part of me still hoped she might have felt my presence—crazy as that made me.
I could almost see her glacier blue eyes from across the street when she did a quick scan of the area. Linnzi’s eyes had been the first thing I noticed when she looked at me. They felt like they had pierced into my fourteen-year-old heart and never let go. It was obvious to me now, being here, that they never would.
She tilted her head up and let the sun shine down on her face, and I clenched my fists tightly at my sides. The urge to rush across the street and touch her was almost debilitating.