Saryn’s eyes lit up. “Did you?”
“No,” I said, sounding utterly defeated. “And just now, when you saw me rush out of the store, I can’t even explain it, but I felt…I felt…”
“What! What did you feel?” Saryn asked as she tugged at my arms. “Tell me!”
Laughing, I said, “I don’t know what I felt. Like someone was out here. Ugh, that doesn’t make sense. The entire time I was in Paris I turned down date after date.”
“Why?” she asked.
I closed my eyes briefly and shook my head. “You’re going to think I’m crazy, and maybe I am.”
“There is no way I’m going to think you’re crazy.”
Drawing in a deep breath, I worked up the courage to tell her. It wasn’t like Saryn and I weren’t friends—we were. We had been close at one time. It dawned on me that I could remember bits and pieces of Saryn during those few years I had forgotten. Us in a barn. The two of us riding horses.
I shook it off and focused on what I was about to admit to. “The whole reason I ran off to Paris was because it was the only memory I had at the time. I remembered wanting to pursue art and live in Paris. After the accident, I knew something was off. My parents were keeping something from me, and my mother practically pushed me out of the door to go to Paris. Once I got there, I thought maybe I would be okay with those missing years. I wasn’t, though. I felt such a profound loss, it’s hard to explain.”
Saryn’s face almost seemed to drain of color, and she looked away from me as we started to walk again. “Loss?” she whispered.
“Yes. It’s silly, but I’ve always felt like there’s been someone. A man. The man I’ve been dreaming about all these years. I don’t think he’s the guy I saw in Paris. Honestly, I think I was so smitten by his looks that I simply latched on to him. He was the first man to spark something inside of me. But the reason I didn’t go out with anyone was because I felt this deep feeling in my chest that I’d already known love. Not a normal love, a wild love. The kind that you can’t keep fenced in. Heck, I don’t even know if I was dating someone before the accident. All I know is I’m hopelessly devoted to a man I’m not even sure exists. Or has ever existed. Maybe my parents didn’t even know I was in love. So it’s not like they’re keeping something from me—maybe they don’t even know themselves. Gahhh, it’s all so overwhelming at times.”
“W-what do you mean, your parents maybe didn’t know you were in love?”
I shrugged. “I don’t know, Saryn. Maybe they did and he left and they’re trying to keep me from having my heart broken. I’ve seriously considered every possible scenario over the past eight years.” I laughed away the silly notion. That would hardly be enough reason for my folks to keep a secret from me. “How can your heart be broken if you don’t even remember a person? But I feel it, Saryn. God, I feel it, feel him, and I don’t know how to explain it. I’ve literally spent the last eight years turning down any man who asked me out because I felt like if I even dared to let anyone else in, I’d actually lose him. If there even is a him. See what I mean? Losing my mind.”
When I looked at Saryn she was crying. I stopped and took her hands in mine. “Saryn, why are you crying?”
She shook her head. “I can’t do this, I can’t do it. Not with you standing right in front of me.”
“Do what?” I asked, confused.
Saryn drew in a deep breath and then let her words fly out with sonic speed. “You were in love, Linnzi, so madly in love. And he loved you just as much.”
My eyes widened in shock. “What? What do you mean?”
Suddenly, as if she was silenced by some realization that she had said too much, she frantically shook her head. “I just mean, well, don’t stop looking and searching for him. Don’t ignore that voice in your head and that feeling in your heart. I walked away from Truitt and spent years with the wrong man. My happily ever after finally came true, and I know yours will too.”
I could have pressed her for more information, but I stopped myself. A part of me truly wanted my memory to come back on its own, and dammit if that didn’t make me a stupid fool.
I smiled and pulled her into a hug. When we separated, I saw it in her eyes. She wasn’t telling me everything. There was for sure more to this story than anyone wanted to admit. Had the whole damn town been in on this secret? But why?