A caring smile softens her features. “I love you more than anything in this world. You’re the most important person in my life.”
Moving forward, I wrap my arms around her again and hold onto her for dear life. “I love you too.”
After a couple of seconds, Hana pulls back again. “The scars don’t change who you are. You’re strong, and you have an unbreakable spirit. Okay? You just lost control for a little while, but you’ll get back up again. And you’ll be so much stronger.”
I nod because what Hana says is the truth. I can’t stay down forever. My social standing doesn’t allow for people like me to give up.
“You’re allowed to hurt,” Hana keeps going. “You’re allowed to break, and I promise I’ll be there to pick up every piece and to help put you back together. But after you’ve reached rock bottom, there’s only one way, and that’s up.” Hana climbs to her feet, and then she pulls me up. Her expression is fierce and loyal as she stares at me. “And by God, we’ll keep getting up no matter what comes our way. Okay?”
I nod again. “Yes.”
“I want to hear you say it,” she demands.
“We’ll keep getting up no matter what comes our way,” I repeat her words.
Her face softens, and she uses her thumbs to wipe the tears from my cheeks. “Do you feel better?”
I’ve hardly managed to calm down, and then the wave of devastation washes over me again. “Kao saw the scars.” I swallow hard. “Jase and Hunter as well.”
“Do you trust me?” she asks.
I nod. There’s no one I trust more than Hana.
I watch as she goes to open the door, and then Jase bursts into the room. He walks right up to me and locks me against his chest. When he presses a kiss to my cheek and then my temple, my body jerks in his hold. Pulling back, he frames my face, and his eyes burn in mine. “I don’t care what you look like, Fallon.”
My chin begins to tremble, but I swallow hard on the tears.
“I wish you didn’t hide that you weren’t coping from me,” Jase continues.
Hunter brushes a hand up and down my back. “We’re a family. Why didn’t you tell us?”
Because you were all busy being there for Kao.
Hana steps closer, and there’s a bite to her tone as she says, “You were all a little busy.”
I see the guilt ripple over Jase and Hunter’s faces, and it only makes me feel like shit.
“I still need to unpack and shower,” I murmur, too tired to hash things out with them.
“Have you had dinner?” Hunter asks. “I can order something for you.”
I don’t have any appetite. “I’m good.”
“Can I make you some coffee?” Jase asks, and it makes the corner of my mouth lift. He doesn’t make coffee for anyone.
“Yeah, I’d like to taste your coffee,” I tease.
A grin forms on my cousin’s face. “I keep my special talents hidden, or everyone would have me making coffee all the time.”
I let out a chuckle. “Yeah, keep lying to yourself.”
The banter helps ease the tension, and once Jase and Hunter have left, I turn to my luggage.
“Go shower,” Hana orders. “I’ll unpack for you.”
“My mother hen,” I say, giving her another hug. “I wouldn’t be able to survive without you.”KAOI’m so fucking shocked, I don’t even take in that Noah’s put in my eyedrops and placed my sunglasses back on my face.
My body trembles from the heartache and regret building in me. I should’ve been there for Fallon. If I hadn’t pushed her away because of my own insecurities and worry, I would’ve known how much she was struggling.
God, I failed her in the worst way possible.
How will I ever make this up to her? Can I even?
Hearing her cry and knowing I’m the last person she wants near her ripped my heart out of my chest.
The woman I love with everything I am broke down in front of me, and there was nothing I could do. It tightens my chest until it feels like my heart is being squashed into a painful lump.
I take deep breaths, trying to calm down because I need to be strong for Fallon now.
I realize, even though I tried to push Fallon away to protect her from my blindness, my heart never let go of her. She has always been and always will be my life.
I treated Fallon like shit.
God, I wish I could punch myself.
The thoughts make every muscle in my body tense.
Jase comes to sit on the other couch, and Hunter drops down next to him.
“Fuck,” Jase mutters, sounding pissed off. “How did we not know?”
“We were all focused on Kao,” Noah mutters.
I shut my eyes against the truth. I lost my shit, and our friends scurried to help me. I left Fallon vulnerable.