“Kao,” I whisper, the hopelessness I feel shimmering in my voice, “how do you feel?”
His eyes slowly open, and all the warmth I used to bathe in is gone and replaced with an icy expression. “I’d feel a hell of a lot better if you’d leave.”
His words hit like a physical blow, and I stumble a step backward.
Noah gets up and walking to me, he comes to place an arm around my waist. “Come, Fallon.” His voice is the opposite of Kao’s, filled with compassion.
I let Noah pull me out of the room, trapped in a world of confusion and heartache.
Noah walks me back to my room before he says, “Just give him time.”
I shake my head as I face Kao’s best friend. “Will that really help? It’s like he’s a stranger.”
Noah’s features soften as he moves his hand to my shoulder, giving it a squeeze. “He’s angry because you got hurt.”
My eyes lock on Noah’s. “It doesn’t feel like it. I heard the revulsion in his voice.”
“Because of what happened,” Noah argues. “Kao blames himself.”
“Did he tell you that?” I ask, hopeful that it could really be the reason.
Maybe it’s not because he’s repulsed by me?
Noah gives my shoulder another squeeze. “He didn’t have to tell me. I know him better than anyone. I’m sure that’s the reason. As soon as the shock wears off and he gets the transplant, he’ll be back to normal.”
My eyes widen as more hope pours into me. “Did he agree to the surgery?”
Frustration flits over Noah’s face, giving me my answer before he mutters, “Not yet. I’m working on changing his mind.”
I shake my head, helplessness dimming the little hope I had. “I don’t understand why he won’t have the transplant.”
“He’s just angry right now,” Noah explains.
“I wish he’d let me be there for him,” I admit.
“Don’t take it personally, Fallon.” Noah lets out a tired sigh. “He’s trying to push me away as well.”
My hermit.
The thought makes the corner of my mouth lift slightly.
“Are you going back to campus today?” Noah asks.
I nod. “Yeah, Hunter and Hana are coming to get me. They should be here soon.”
“I’ll see you back at the dorm then.”
Noah begins to walk to the door, and it has me saying, “Noah.” He glances at me from over his shoulder. “Thank you.”
The corners of his mouth lift slightly before he leaves my room.
To keep busy, I make sure I’ve packed everything. Knowing I’m going back to Trinity, I walk to the bathroom as I untie my hair. While I brush it, so half is hanging over the right side of my face, my eyes go over the bandages.
I still haven’t seen what the cuts look like. The doctor said I have to keep the dressings on until the stitches come out. I’m allowed to shower and clean the cuts daily.
The thought of having to take care of the wounds myself makes my chest fill with apprehension.
Movement from the room has me sucking in a deep breath before I walk out of the bathroom to greet Hunter and Hana.
“Are you ready?” Hunter asks, his eyes falling on the bag next to the bed.
“Yeah.”
Hana’s gaze locks on me, and then worry makes her frown. “Did something happen?”
“I went to see Kao,” I mutter. “He wasn’t too happy about it.”
Hunter lets out a deep breath. “Yeah, he’s distant with all of us.”
I pick up my sweater from the bed and shrug it on. “Noah said Kao’s angry and even trying to push him away.”
“I’m sure once he gets the surgery and can see again, he’ll be back to his usual self,” Hana says.
Hunter grabs my overnight bag. “Yeah, honestly, I’d be out of my mind if I were blind. We have to put ourselves in his shoes.”
“I just wish he’d let me help him,” I say as we walk out into the hallway. Nearing Kao’s room, my pace slows, and I’m overwhelmed with the urge to go to him.
I hate leaving him here.
“Give me a second,” I say, and then I push the door open and steeling myself for Kao’s anger, I walk to the side of his bed and leaning over him, I press a kiss to his cheek. Straightening up, I say, “I’m going home, but I’ll come to visit. Noah can call me if you need me to bring anything for you.”
“Don’t bother,” Kao says, the words sounding tight.
Ignoring Kao, I glance at Noah. “Are you staying the whole day?”
Noah gives me a grin. “Yeah.”
“Want me to bring you something to eat tonight?”
“A burger would be awesome.”
“Should’ve known he won’t miss out on a chance for junk food,” Hunter jokes.
I even manage to smile a little. “With bacon and cheese?”
“Extra cheese.”
I glance at Kao again. “Get some rest, Kao.” It’s on the tip of my tongue to tell him I love him, but I swallow the words back and hurry out of the room.