Ah, baby, you have no idea who you’re dealing with.
“Am I?” I slipped my knife from the holster and dragged it across the palm of my hand.
She pursed her lips together, eyes narrowing, brows low. She was contemplating like she had in the car when I’d made her drive into the woods.
“Fine. I’ll do it.” Then she added, “But it’s not because I’m in love with you.”
I shrugged. It was better if she believed that, but she wouldn’t do this if she didn’t trust me completely. Love? It was an emotion I had no experience with, and I’d said it to see what she’d say.
I stood leaning against the wall, waiting, giving her the time to accept what I was asking. This was more than a challenge. I was rewriting the trauma and my little braveheart was living up to her nickname.
She took a long, deep inhale, her chest expanding and causing her nipples to push against the button-down dress shirt she wore. My button-down dress shirt.
This might be a challenge for her, but it was for me, too, because I wanted to rip my shirt off her, draw her nipples into my mouth until she arched and begged for me to sink inside her.
She walked over to the bed. The mattress creaked as she knelt on it. Crawling to the center, her eyes closed briefly and goose bumps appeared on her naked thighs. This was past her comfort zone, and I was pushing her limits.
She lay back.
When she opened her eyes and looked at me, determination settled within the depths. Then she raised her arms above her head and crossed her wrists.
My girl, so fuckin’ brave.
Restraint.
Helplessness.
Vulnerability.
She’d spent years restrained like a dog, an object, something to be abused. Made to feel powerless and worthless. I had to change that. She was no longer a victim and the fear that was hidden behind that stubbornness was still present, lingering like a leech on her skin sucking out the pleasure.
I wanted the fear gone.
I needed it gone.
But most of all, she needed it gone.
I reached into my back pocket and pulled out my piano wire. Something I’d used numerous times to wrap around a throat and end the frantically beating pulse, lungs screaming for the oxygen I deprived.
My eyes roamed down her throat, the beautiful curve so delicate and exposed. I was easily able to end her life and that was why we were here right now. I needed her to trust me completely and put her in a position that made her defenseless.
As I approached the bed, her breath quickened and she tensed. She didn’t move although it was a fight, a fight against herself. Because that was what this was. It wasn’t me she feared. It was the memories that haunted her.
I leaned over the bed, my hands slowly wrapping the thin, smooth wire around her wrists several times, locking them together. I knotted the ends around the rung of the headboard, not tight, but enough that she’d be unable to move more than a few inches without the wire cutting into her wrists.
Her breath came in short gasps and she paled. I didn’t fuckin’ like it.
I ran my fingers down her arms to her shoulders then over to her throat, feeling her swallow beneath my touch. “You can do this, London.”
She didn’t answer. Sitting on the edge of the bed, I continued to trace gentle paths along her neck and collarbone. “You’re stronger than what was done to you. Don’t let him have you.” Him was generic because I didn’t know, and never wanted to know, how many hims there’d been.
“I’m scared.”
“I know. But we’re going to change that.” I cupped her chin and waited until her eyes steadied on mine. “No other man is inside you except me. Mind or body.” I brushed my thumb across her lips. Lips I was going to finally taste soon. “I need you to give yourself completely to me, not because you’re forced to, London, but because you trust me to only give you pleasure.”
She pulled a bit on the wire and her eyes widened with panic. “Kai. I don’t like it.”
I flattened my palm on her chest just above her breasts and felt her heart beating erratically. “Keep your eyes on me. I need you to see me. Know it’s me. Only me. Always.”
I stood up straight and slowly undressed. Taking my time, I stepped out of my jeans and folded them. I walked over to the chair and placed them on the seat.
I knew what she was doing before I turned. Struggling against the wire. I could hear the creak of the bed, the rustle of the sheets beneath her. “Oh, God, Kai.”
I’d release her if she really wanted me to, but I was certain she was strong enough to defeat the panic. “If I untie you, they win. Do you want that?” She bit her lower lip and I could see the imprint left from her teeth when she released it. “Do you want to live with them lingering, sucking the life out of you?” I approached the end of the bed and stopped. “I want all of you, London. Every single piece of you and I want you to give it to me.” I knelt on the bed and came toward her until I straddled her body. I leaned over her, my hands sliding up her arms until they rested on top of the bound wrists. “You need to decide whether you want to fight for me, London.”