Sometimes it seemed as if Shepherd could read her very thoughts. Other times it seemed he was so far off base it was as if they lived on separate planets.
Claire had to get off his lap, she needed to think. Shepherd allowed it.
Smoothing back her hair, she thought to press on another subject. "I cannot make myself understand. What is it you want from Thólos? You are king with a list of ambitions, but you let your lands decay. You rule everything under the Dome, but hate your subjects."
Shepherd put his elbows on his knees, spoke with acumen as the Omega paced. "My number of loyal Followers have swelled beyond even what I imagined. Hardship distills the soul."
The things she had seen in the streets of Thólos, the depravity—it made the truth of his words sting. "Those who joined since the breach are traitors who chose your doctrine out of a misguided sense of survival."
"True, but the majority of the terrorism in Thólos was perpetrated by its own citizens. I did not get involved."
Swallowing, Claire wrung her hands, looking for something she could use. "I know. I asked for help… remember? You didn't help me."
The shine of approval lit Shepherd's eyes. "But I did."
Claire thought she might lose her cool. "I will not have this fight with you."
"Think of your assault of the Undercroft," the giant reminded her. "Think of what you accomplished for the Omegas. What occurs in Thólos defines character. You are exceptional."
That was far from true. Ashamed, Claire turned her eyes to the floor and confessed, "Did Maryanne tell you what I had to do to convince her to help me?"
"I have not discussed such things with Ms. Cauley. What was done is forgiven and your motivation understood."
"I threatened her," Claire admitted, certain he must see how his occupation had affected even her. "I threatened her with you."
Shepherd could not help but laugh outright. "How charming you are. Do not trouble yourself. You would never have followed through on the threat. We both know that."
But she had still done wrong to her friend. "I hated doing it, Shepherd."
The man nodded, entirely self-satisfied. "But it was necessary."
He was twisting her words, using the opportunity to influence. He remained unreactive, patient, and Claire wondered why he seemed pleased at her question of, "Where will it end?"
Shepherd answered like a father educating a child. "In a cultivated Utopia."
Fighting not to grit her teeth, Claire went back to the topic at hand. "Full of damaged people? How will Shanice enjoy the world that inspired her rape?"
"Had you not interfered, she would have been safe, separated from the dangers of Thólos, and cared for by her mate—who would have provided all she needed. Charles was a good man, one deserving of the gift of an Omega's love."
She was not going to beat a dead horse. "In this utopia, where is justice for my dead boy? The children suffering and dying are innocent…"
"Children are being neglected and destroyed by their own people. My Followers do not harm them."
"But they don't help them, they perpetuate the suffering. I don't understand how you cannot see what I see," Claire, green eyes wide and beseeching, said. "Shepherd, you set convicts free; you inspired brutality. You are more dangerous an infection than the Red Consumption."
"Less than twenty-thousand men were set free in a city of millions… a city of people who chose to embrace violence rather than stand honorably—a people who are easily corrupted. I never told them to pillage, rape, or murder. Thólos is responsible for its actions."
"You manipulate us all with a skill that is terrible, yet could be redirected." Stamping her foot in frustration, Claire demanded, "Why not inspire goodness, why not try to change the world through nonviolence?"
"It would be pointless in a place so immoral and corrupt. You cannot reason with these types of people, little one. You cannot explain or educate. They are absolutely aware of what they do. They don't care about you, your goodness, or anything beyond their own insatiable desires. After all, what do you know of Senator Kantor, the champion of the people? That man would do anything for power, manipulate anyone for wealth. He knows secrets that, were he to divulge them to the resistance, they would slit his throat."
Fighting not to lose ground or be distracted, Claire growled, "You are bitter because he is still free, because he fights."
Crossing his great arms over his chest, Shepherd said, "What makes you think I don't know where he is at this very moment?"
She took a deep breath, she made herself look passive. "There is no resistance."
"There never will be." Creased skin around his eyes exaggerated Shepherd's smile. "Thólossens will never rise up at the cost of their dwindling comfort."
Knowing the question would irritate him, Claire asked bluntly, "Has my flyer had an effect?"